Oct. 8, 2023
Severe Conflict
Two days ago, a shocking news startled me. Hamas, a terrorist organization in Palestine, suddenly launched approximately 5000 rockets at Israel. It was reported that hundreds of people in Israel died and thousands were injured, the even more hazardous is that Hamas claimed they had captured 163 people in Gaza including some women and children.
I noticed that the news in my country is a bit different from Western media. First, they don't report that some civilians were kidnapped by Hamas. Instead, they focused on the anti-missile systems were ineffective, many of which are backed by the USA. In addition, a significant number of the comments support for Hamas, arguing they are defending the invaders. I know these comments are what the propaganda agency wants us to see. The political issues are quite complex and contentious.
There's no doubt that Hamas is a terrorist group because they often target regular people.
It was reported that hundreds of people in Israel died and thousands were injured, the even more hazardous is that Hamas claimed they had captured 163 people in Gaza including some women and children.
Instead, they focused on the anti-missile systems that were ineffective, many of which are backed by the USA.
In addition, a significant number of the comments support for Hamas, arguing they are defending the invaderst.
You can say comments support or comments demonstrate/show support FOR
Oct. 19, 2023
thank you for your corrections!
Severe Conflict
Two days ago, a shocking event | some shocking news] startled me.
News is uncountable.
Hamas, a terrorist organization in Palestine, suddenly launched approximately 5000 rockets at Israel.
It was reported that hundreds of people in Israel died and thousands were injured, theand even more [hazardous | serious | shocking] is that Hamas claimed they had captured 163 people in Gaza including some women and children.
“Hazardous” sounds odd in this sentence.
I noticed that the news in my country is a bit different from Western media.
First, they don't report that some civilians were kidnapped by Hamas.
Instead, they focused on the fact that the anti-missile systems were ineffective, many of which are [backed by the USA | based on American technology(?)].
Since you wrote “they don’t report” (present tense) in the previous sentence, you need to use “they focus” (present tense) here, too.
“Backed” doesn’t seem like the right word.
In addition, a significant number of the comments support for Hamas, arguing they are defending against (the) invaders.
I know these comments are what the propaganda agency wants us to see.
The political issues are quite complex and contentious.
There's no doubt that Hamas is a terrorist group because they often target regular people.
Feedback
I do feel a lot of sympathy for the Palestinian people, and that they’ve been treated poorly by Israel and America, but I don’t have much sympathy for Hamas.
Oct. 9, 2023
Thank your corrections! As a high-ranking military officer from Israel said, "The gate to hell for Hamas has opened," and more local people will sacrifice in the future. It's a crazy world, there are always some humans who like killing and fighting, maybe it's part of evolutionary process for beings.
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Severe Conflict This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Two days ago, a shocking news startled me. Two days ago, a shocking event | some shocking news] startled me. News is uncountable. |
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Hamas, a terrorist organization in Palestine, suddenly launched approximately 5000 rockets at Israel. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was reported that hundreds of people in Israel died and thousands were injured, the even more hazardous is that Hamas claimed they had captured 163 people in Gaza including some women and children. It was reported that hundreds of people in Israel died and thousands were injured, “Hazardous” sounds odd in this sentence. It was reported that hundreds of people in Israel died and thousands were injured, |
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I noticed that the news in my country is a bit different from Western media. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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First, they don't report that some civilians were kidnapped by Hamas. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Instead, they focused on the anti-missile systems were ineffective, many of which are backed by the USA. Instead, they focus Since you wrote “they don’t report” (present tense) in the previous sentence, you need to use “they focus” (present tense) here, too. “Backed” doesn’t seem like the right word. Instead, they focused on the anti-missile systems that were ineffective, many of which are backed by the USA. |
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In addition, a significant number of the comments support for Hamas, arguing they are defending the invaders. In addition, a significant number of the comments support In addition, a significant number of the comments support You can say comments support or comments demonstrate/show support FOR |
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I know these comments are what the propaganda agency wants us to see. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The political issues are quite complex and contentious. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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There's no doubt that Hamas is a terrorist group because they often target regular people. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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