Aug. 5, 2020
Self-motivating strategy
Growing up in the digital age, the young generation is surrounded by mobile devices, the internet, and social media. The technologies play a vital role in our lives which brings both advantages and disadvantages that have granted us such information access, fecundity, and communication are also distracting us, and keeping us from being productive, efficient, and effective. One of my personal experiences, for example, during the years of high school, due to the academic demands increase and concerns about the college, including college entrance exams, applying applications, and determining a school, it was not only stressful but important to concentrate on school work. Social media, however, was taking up more and more of my time, distracting me while I was studying. To fully focus, I turned my phone in silent mode and set up screen time that I could use the phone only an hour a day to help me not to divert from learning. The self-motivating strategy--environmental control, which I adopted, assist me in eliminating negative environmental influences. As a result of that, I scored a high mark on exams and achieved my goals to participate in my dream university. Therefore, environmental control is of benefit.
Growing up in the digital age, the young generation is surrounded by mobile devices, the internet, and social media.
These technologies play a vital role in our lives which brings both advantages and disadvantages, that have granted us such information access, fecundity, and communication, are also distracting us, and keeping us from being productive, efficient, and effective.
it's kind of a long sentence, but it works!
High level writing does often use long sentences, after all.
One of my personal experiences, for example, was during the years of high school, due to t when academic demands increase andd, combined with concerns about the college, including college and entrance exams, applyingsending in applications, and determinselecting a school,; it was not only stressful, but important to concentrate on school work.
Social media, however, was taking up more and more of my time, distracting me while I was studying.
To fully focus, I turnedput my phone in silent mode and set up screen time so that I could use the phone only an hour a day, to help me not to divert from learning.
As a result of that, I scoredgot a high marks on my exams and achieved my goals to participate in of being accepted by my dream university.
Therefore, environmental control is of benefitcial.
Feedback
This is a pretty high level essay! I'm surprised you put your level as beginner.
You also experiment with long sentences. Shortening them may simplify things and it's not a bad idea to use short ones. But many academic works have long, complex sentences with many clauses so this is good practice.
Growing up in the digital age, the younger generation is surrounded by mobile devices, the internet, and social media.
These technologies play a vital role in our lives whichand brings both advantages and disadvantages that. They have granted us such information access, fecundity, and communication but are also distracting us, and keeping us from being productive, efficient, and effective.
OFor example, one of my personal experiences, for example, during the years of is that during high school, due to the increase in academic demands increase and concerns about the college, including college entrance exams, applying applications, and determfinding a school, it was not only stressful but important to concentrate on school work.
Social media, however, was taking up more and more of my time, distracting me while I was studying.
To fully focus, I turned my phone into silent mode and set up screen time that I could use the phone for only an hour a day to help me not to divert from learning.
Better: ....only and hour a day to help me not be distracted from learning
The self-motivating strategy -- environmental control, -- which I adopted, assisted me in eliminating negative environmental influences.
As a result of that, I scored a high mark on my exams and achieved my goals to participa of ente ring my dream university.
Therefore, environmental control is ofwas benefitcial.
Feedback
Congratulations on your exams!
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Self-motivating strategy |
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Growing up in the digital age, the young generation is surrounded by mobile devices, the internet, and social media. Growing up in the digital age, the younger generation is surrounded by mobile devices, the internet, and social media. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The technologies play a vital role in our lives which brings both advantages and disadvantages that have granted us such information access, fecundity, and communication are also distracting us, and keeping us from being productive, efficient, and effective. These technologies play a vital role in our lives These technologies play a vital role in our lives which brings both advantages and disadvantages, that have granted us such information access, fecundity, and communication, are also distracting us, and keeping us from being productive, efficient, and effective. it's kind of a long sentence, but it works! High level writing does often use long sentences, after all. |
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One of my personal experiences, for example, during the years of high school, due to the academic demands increase and concerns about the college, including college entrance exams, applying applications, and determining a school, it was not only stressful but important to concentrate on school work.
One of my personal experiences, for example, was during |
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Social media, however, was taking up more and more of my time, distracting me while I was studying. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To fully focus, I turned my phone in silent mode and set up screen time that I could use the phone only an hour a day to help me not to divert from learning. To fully focus, I turned my phone Better: ....only and hour a day to help me not be distracted from learning To fully focus, I |
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The self-motivating strategy--environmental control, which I adopted, assist me in eliminating negative environmental influences. The self-motivating strategy -- environmental control |
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As a result of that, I scored a high mark on exams and achieved my goals to participate in my dream university. As a result of that, I scored a high mark on my exams and achieved my goal As a result of that, I |
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Therefore, environmental control is of benefit. Therefore, environmental control Therefore, environmental control is of benefi |
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