Nov. 27, 2022
Early this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai, which I had held back due to the pandemic. Thinking my daughter, a 1st grader in high school, would not come with me due to school, I planned to go on one day trip with my husband at the beginning. However, she said, "You two should have an overnight stay there," so we made a sudden change to our plan, deciding to stay for one night. My daughter was allowed to stay over at my gramma living nearby.
In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing around Sendai station. What amazed us in the hotel was seaweed in a net put into the bath.
Feeling thrilled, I bathed in the "seaweed bath." After a while, my body adapted comfortably to the pale brown bath. At the same time, I felt as if I have melted into soup stock in the aroma of seaweed. Somehow, my skin also seemed to become moist.
While I was on my way home, I thought I would try the bath in my home.
A long-awaited excursion was refreshing and made me newly aware of the goodness of a trip. I want to go out with my whole family next time.
Seaweed bath in Sendai
Early this month, for the first time in ages, I madetook a trip to Sendai, which I had held backput off due to the pandemic.
Thinking that my daughter, a 1st graderyear student in high school, would not come with meus due to school, I initially planned to go on one day trip with my husband at the beginning.
In America, a first year high school student is called a "freshman", but I am not sure if that applies to a Japanese high school
However, she said, "You two should have anstay overnight stay there," so we made a sudden change to our plan, deciding tos and stayed for one night.
My daughter was allowedble to stay over at my gramma living's house nearby.
Also, "grandmother's"
In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing around Sendainear the station.
What amazed us in the hotelmost was the seaweed in a net punet into the hotel bath.
Also, "amazed" = "impressed"
Feeling thrilled, I bathed in the "seaweed bath."
After a little while, my body adapted comfortably to the pale brown bath.
"A while" sounds like a long time, "A little while" is a short time
At the same time, I felt as if I haved melted into soup stock inwith the aroma of seaweed.
Somehow, my skinit also seemed to become moistmoisturize my skin.
While I was on my way home, I thought I would try theat seaweed bath in myat home.
A long-awaited excursion was refreshing and made me newly aware of the goodness ofrealize the value in taking a trip.
I want to go out with my whole family next time.
Seaweed bath in Sendai
Early this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai, which I had held back due to the pandemic.
*which I had been postponing due to the pandemic (this is formal and informal)
* which I had put on hold due to the pandemic (this is more informal)
Thinking my daughter, a 1st grader in high school, would not come with me due to school, I planned to go on one day trip with my husband at the beginning.
Thinking my daughter, a first year high school student, could not come with me because of school.
You can use either could or would not but could not is used when something stops you from doing something and would not sort of means she didn’t want to come. Seems to me you mean that your daughter could not come on the trip because of having to go to school?
If she didn’t want to come because she wanted to do her homework instead, then you can say she would not come.
However, she said, "You two should have an overnight stay there," so we made a sudden change to our plan, deciding to stay for one night.
My daughter was allowed to stay over at my gramma living nearby.
Better to use grandmother instead of gramma
In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing around Sendai station.
Sentence is perfectly ok. You don’t actually need to use leisurely here. Sightseeing itself implies you took your time to explore a place.
What amazed us in the hotel, was the seaweed in a net put, for putting into the bath.
You can also say at the hotel (this would be my preferred way of saying it as a British English speaker)
Feeling thrilled, I bathed in the "seaweed bath."
Your sentence is fine but you can omit feeling thrilled and say
I was thrilled to bathe in a “seaweed bath”
After a while, my body adapted comfortably to the pale brown bath.
Sentence is fine but can you please explain what you mean? Did your skin change colour? Did you feel your muscles relax?
At the same time, I felt as if I have melted into soup stock in the aroma of seaweed.
I felt as though I had melted into a broth/ soup stock, with a distinct seaweed aroma
Somehow, my skin also seemed to become moist.
Please explain what you mean here.
Moist means something that is not dry. This in combination with the bath and the use of “somehow”, which indicates an unexpected thing, doesn’t make sense.
While I was on my way home, I thought I would try the bath in my home.
Do you mean that you will continue to take seaweed baths at home?
A long-awaited excursion was refreshing and made me newly aware of the goodness of a trip.
I want to go out with my whole family next time.
Feedback
I loved your story, especially the soup stock part. Keep up the excellent work.
Seaweed bBath in Sendai
We capitalize the first letter of important words in titles.
Early this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai, from which I had held backrefrained from going due to the pandemic.
or
Earlier this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai. It was my first trip since before the pandemic.
Thinking that my daughter, a 1st gradeFirst Year in high school, would not be able to come with me due to school, I planned to go on onea day trip with my husband atfrom the beginning.
In the US, we don't use the term, "First Grade in high school."
However, she saidShe said, however, "You two should have an overnight stay there," so we made a sudden change to our plans, deciding to stay for one night.
We refrain from using, "however" and "but," at the beginning of sentences. In the US, we also often refer to "plans" plural instead of "plan" singular.
My daughter was allowed to stay over at my gramma living's house which is nearby.
In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing around Sendai sStation.
What amazed us inat the hotel was seaweed in a net put into thea bath.
Feeling thrilled, I bathed in the "seaweed bath."
After a while, my body adapted comfortably to the pale brown bath.
At the same time, I felt as if I haved melted into soup stock in thewithin an aroma of seaweed.
Somehow, my skin also seemed to become moist.
While I waswe were on myour way home, I thought I would try the bath in myat home.
A long-awaited excursion was refreshing and made me newly aware of the goodness of a trip.
I want to go out with my whole family next time.
Feedback
すごい!いい話です。上手にかけています。
Thinking my daughter, a 1st grader in high school, would not come with me due to school, I planned to go on a one day trip with my husband at the beginningfirst.
Although you usually don't use a determiner (words like "a", "this", "the" etc.) before "one", here the "one" is part of the noun phrase "one day trip" so you need an article.
When using one as a number, eg. "one book", "one man", you wouldn't use an article. When its part of a phrase you use an article eg. "the one man show", "a one letter word".
My daughter was allowed to stay over atwith my gramma livingwho lives nearby.
Two ways of writing this:
"...stay at my gramma's house/place/apartment etc. nearby."
"...stay with my gramma who lives nearby."
What amazed us iIn the hotel, wase were amazed at the seaweed in a net put into the bath.
At the same time, I felt as if I haved melted into soup stock in the aroma of seaweed.
AThe long-awaited excursion was refreshing and made me newly aware of the goodness of a trip.
I want to go out with my whole family next time.
Feedback
Very impressive writing! Your vocabulary is very well developed, good job!
Seaweed bath in Sendai Seaweed We capitalize the first letter of important words in titles. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Early this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai, which I had held back due to the pandemic. Early this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai, from which I had or Earlier this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai. It was my first trip since before the pandemic. Early this month, for the first time in ages, I made a trip to Sendai, which I had held back due to the pandemic. *which I had been postponing due to the pandemic (this is formal and informal) * which I had put on hold due to the pandemic (this is more informal) Early this month, for the first time in ages, I |
Thinking my daughter, a 1st grader in high school, would not come with me due to school, I planned to go on one day trip with my husband at the beginning. Thinking my daughter, a 1st grader in high school, would not come with me due to school, I planned to go on a one day trip with my husband at Although you usually don't use a determiner (words like "a", "this", "the" etc.) before "one", here the "one" is part of the noun phrase "one day trip" so you need an article. When using one as a number, eg. "one book", "one man", you wouldn't use an article. When its part of a phrase you use an article eg. "the one man show", "a one letter word". Thinking that my daughter, a In the US, we don't use the term, "First Grade in high school." Thinking my daughter, a 1st grader in high school, would not come with me due to school, I planned to go on one day trip with my husband at the beginning. Thinking my daughter, a first year high school student, could not come with me because of school. You can use either could or would not but could not is used when something stops you from doing something and would not sort of means she didn’t want to come. Seems to me you mean that your daughter could not come on the trip because of having to go to school? If she didn’t want to come because she wanted to do her homework instead, then you can say she would not come. Thinking that my daughter, a 1st In America, a first year high school student is called a "freshman", but I am not sure if that applies to a Japanese high school |
However, she said, "You two should have an overnight stay there," so we made a sudden change to our plan, deciding to stay for one night.
We refrain from using, "however" and "but," at the beginning of sentences. In the US, we also often refer to "plans" plural instead of "plan" singular. This sentence has been marked as perfect! However, she said, "You two should |
My daughter was allowed to stay over at my gramma living nearby. My daughter was allowed to stay Two ways of writing this: "...stay at my gramma's house/place/apartment etc. nearby." "...stay with my gramma who lives nearby." My daughter was allowed to stay over at my gramma My daughter was allowed to stay over at my gramma living nearby. Better to use grandmother instead of gramma My daughter was a Also, "grandmother's" |
In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing around Sendai station. In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing around Sendai In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing around Sendai station. Sentence is perfectly ok. You don’t actually need to use leisurely here. Sightseeing itself implies you took your time to explore a place. In Sendai, my husband and I spent the day leisurely sightseeing |
What amazed us in the hotel was seaweed in a net put into the bath.
What amazed us What amazed us in the hotel, was the seaweed in a net You can also say at the hotel (this would be my preferred way of saying it as a British English speaker) What amazed us Also, "amazed" = "impressed" |
Feeling thrilled, I bathed in the "seaweed bath." This sentence has been marked as perfect! Feeling thrilled, I bathed in the "seaweed bath." Your sentence is fine but you can omit feeling thrilled and say I was thrilled to bathe in a “seaweed bath” This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
After a while, my body adapted comfortably to the pale brown bath. This sentence has been marked as perfect! After a while, my body adapted comfortably to the pale brown bath. Sentence is fine but can you please explain what you mean? Did your skin change colour? Did you feel your muscles relax? After a little while, my body adapted comfortably to the pale brown bath. "A while" sounds like a long time, "A little while" is a short time |
At the same time, I felt as if I have melted into soup stock in the aroma of seaweed. At the same time, I felt as if I ha At the same time, I felt as if I ha At the same time, I felt as if I have melted into soup stock in the aroma of seaweed. I felt as though I had melted into a broth/ soup stock, with a distinct seaweed aroma At the same time, I felt as if I ha |
Somehow, my skin also seemed to become moist. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Somehow, my skin also seemed to become moist. Please explain what you mean here. Moist means something that is not dry. This in combination with the bath and the use of “somehow”, which indicates an unexpected thing, doesn’t make sense. Somehow, |
While I was on my way home, I thought I would try the bath in my home. While While I was on my way home, I thought I would try the bath in my home. Do you mean that you will continue to take seaweed baths at home? While I was on my way home, I thought I would try th |
A long-awaited excursion was refreshing and made me newly aware of the goodness of a trip.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! A long-awaited excursion was refreshing and made me |
I want to go out with my whole family next time. I want to go This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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