Sept. 11, 2024
Rhapsody on a Piece of Rachmaninoff (Part E)
"The orchestra starts with a Theme of Paganini."
First of all, our lives have some primer on which we paint them further. It does not have to be the leitmotif of life in general. Indeed, life's opening can be played before introducing the main theme, as Rachmaninoff did in the Rhapsody: The theme comes only after the Introduction (Allegro Vivace) and the First Variation (Precedente). Moreover, the theme by which we live is often not ours but external and articulated by a famous person, as was the case with the Rhapsody, which is a set of 24 variations on the twenty-fourth and last of Niccolò Paganini's Caprices for solo violin. Rachmaninoff did not invent the theme of his composition, but he did create a unique piece of music. We do not invent our direction in life either. We pick it up in one way or another but then go along a unique path that defines us.
We have no genuine fellow travellers on our road of life. We can be compared to a piano with a leading role in the piece. Our environment, which includes all our relatives and friends, is merely an orchestra that communicates with us, adopting our tunes and suggesting theirs.
However, we cannot play life without the orchestra. The orchestra is the one which leads us when we take our piano baby steps in our lives. It gives us everything when we are children, even a theme that we will associate with our entire lives. We will change it beyond recognition after years of variation, but everything we do stems from the melody of a simple Caprice that our parents taught us when we could barely follow them on the way of life.
Nevertheless, we are the only ones who complete this way. We are soloists, the ones who gather the orchestra under our banners. Only we can skitter effortlessly through the variations, and they have identities due to our actions. We would share a part of authorship of our lives only with our most intimate friends and relatives, who are still no more than leading strings in the orchestra.
Before reading this, please read previous parts to understand what I'm writing about here. And please follow me on langcorrect to edit subsequent instalments of the Rhapsody. I am working on a very detailed essay, which promises to be compelling for many classical music fans, especially for Rachmaninoff's aficionados.
Rhapsody on a Piece ofby Rachmaninoff (Part E)
First of all, our lives have some primer on which we paint them further.
Indeed, life's opening can be played before introducing the main theme, as Rachmaninoff did in the Rhapsody: The theme comes only after the Introduction (Allegro Vivace) and the First Variation (Precedente).
I am not sure what you mean by "life's opening," but the rest is grammatically correct.
Moreover, the theme by which we live is often not ours but external and articulated by a famous person, as wais the case with the Rhapsody, which is a set of 24 variations on the twenty-fourth and last of Niccolò Paganini's Caprices for solo violin.
I'd say "is" here as you are stating a general fact that does not change over time.
Rachmaninoff did not invent the theme of his composition, but he did create a unique piece of music.
We do not invent our direction in life either.
We pick it up in one way or another but then go along a unique path that will defines us.
not sure if the use of the future here changes your thought.
We have no genuine fellow travellers on our road of life.
We can be compared to a piano with a leading role in the piece.
Our environment, which includes all our relatives and friends, is merely an orchestra that communicates with us, adopting our tunes and suggesting theirs.
However, we cannot play life without the orchestra.
I took out life as it doesn't quite sound right. I think since you are making an analogy to life, it may not be necessary to repeat here.
The orchestra is the one which leads us when we take our piano baby steps in our liveslife.
It gives us everything when we are children, even a theme that we will associate with our entire lives.
We will change it beyond recognition after years of variation, but everything we do stems from the melody of a simple Caprice that our parents taught us when we could barely follow them on the way of life.keep up with them.
My phrase, "keep up" is an attempt here, not sure it works with what you are trying to convey.
Nevertheless, we are the only ones who complete this way.
This sentence needs re-working for better comprehension. I am not sure what you mean by "complete."
We are soloists, the ones who gather the orchestra under our banners.
"under our banners," not sure what this means. I would re-work this, but not clear what you mean by it.
Only we can skitterWe can only skitter (maybe weave a better word?) effortlessly through the variations, and they have identities due to our actions.
I think "they have identities due to our actions,"is a thought that could be broken up into smaller ideas. It is a bit difficult to decipher as is. You could say, "they form identities based on our actions." It may be worthwhile at this point to repeat who "they" is.
We would share a part of authorship of our lives only with our most intimate friends and relatives, who are still no more than leading strings in the orchestra.
Feedback
A very interesting piece! I admit that I do not understand the music analogy due to unfamiliarity with classical music, but I am able to sense the overall analogy which is quite beautiful.
I think some of the sentences are a bit abstract, which doesn't translate so well in English. They could be simplified (I know that can render them less elegant), but would help with clarity. :) Nice work.
|
However, we cannot play life without the orchestra. However, we cannot play I took out life as it doesn't quite sound right. I think since you are making an analogy to life, it may not be necessary to repeat here. |
|
Rhapsody on a Piece of Rachmaninoff (Part E) Rhapsody on a Piece |
|
"The orchestra starts with a Theme of Paganini." |
|
First of all, our lives have some primer on which we paint them further. First of all, our lives have some primer on which we paint them further. |
|
It does not have to be the leitmotif of life in general. |
|
Indeed, life's opening can be played before introducing the main theme, as Rachmaninoff did in the Rhapsody: The theme comes only after the Introduction (Allegro Vivace) and the First Variation (Precedente). Indeed, life's opening can be played before introducing the main theme, as Rachmaninoff did in the Rhapsody: The theme comes only after the Introduction (Allegro Vivace) and the First Variation (Precedente). I am not sure what you mean by "life's opening," but the rest is grammatically correct. |
|
Moreover, the theme by which we live is often not ours but external and articulated by a famous person, as was the case with the Rhapsody, which is a set of 24 variations on the twenty-fourth and last of Niccolò Paganini's Caprices for solo violin. Moreover, the theme by which we live is often not ours but external and articulated by a famous person, as I'd say "is" here as you are stating a general fact that does not change over time. |
|
Rachmaninoff did not invent the theme of his composition, but he did create a unique piece of music. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
We do not invent our direction in life either. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
We pick it up in one way or another but then go along a unique path that defines us. We pick it up in one way or another but then go along a unique path that will define not sure if the use of the future here changes your thought. |
|
We are soloists, the ones who gather the orchestra under our banners. We are soloists, the ones who gather the orchestra under our banners. "under our banners," not sure what this means. I would re-work this, but not clear what you mean by it. |
|
Only we can skitter effortlessly through the variations, and they have identities due to our actions.
I think "they have identities due to our actions,"is a thought that could be broken up into smaller ideas. It is a bit difficult to decipher as is. You could say, "they form identities based on our actions." It may be worthwhile at this point to repeat who "they" is. |
|
We would share a part of authorship of our lives only with our most intimate friends and relatives, who are still no more than leading strings in the orchestra. We |
|
We have no genuine fellow travellers on our road of life. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
We can be compared to a piano with a leading role in the piece. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Our environment, which includes all our relatives and friends, is merely an orchestra that communicates with us, adopting our tunes and suggesting theirs. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The orchestra is the one which leads us when we take our piano baby steps in our lives. The orchestra is the one which leads us when we take our |
|
It gives us everything when we are children, even a theme that we will associate with our entire lives. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
We will change it beyond recognition after years of variation, but everything we do stems from the melody of a simple Caprice that our parents taught us when we could barely follow them on the way of life. We will change it beyond recognition after years of variation, but everything we do stems from the melody of a simple Caprice that our parents taught us when we could barely My phrase, "keep up" is an attempt here, not sure it works with what you are trying to convey. |
|
Nevertheless, we are the only ones who complete this way. Nevertheless, we are the only ones who complete this way. This sentence needs re-working for better comprehension. I am not sure what you mean by "complete." |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium