Legeartis's avatar
Legeartis

Sept. 1, 2024

0
Rhapsody on a Piece of Rachmaninoff (part A)

With the beginning of the new academic year, we once again return to the same routine: the same concerns, the same company, and the same unfounded hope that something would change right this year. We play our roles once more. But do we play them identically, or are there perhaps any variations? Does our life change significantly, or is it in stasis?

We will look at a piece of music written exactly 90 years ago that can help us settle this issue. Its author was a man who won great acclaim in Russia and abroad. An aspiring composer in his early twenties, he suffered a severe four-year depression after the disastrous premiere of his First Symphony. With the help of Moscow's best physician, he overcame it, shattering it to pieces with the triumphant Second Piano Concerto. A very prolific period of composing ensued: another magnificent piano concerto, two sonorous sonatas, a well-received majestic Second Symphony, abstract preludes, dozens of heartfelt romances, church music, ... All this terminated with the Russian Revolution. An exile from 1917, the composer would never return to Russia.

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Corrections

Rhapsody on a Piece of RachmaninoffExploring Rachmaninoff: A Rhapsody on Change and Routine (pPart A1)

With the beginning of the new academic year, we once again return to the same routine:, the same concerns, the same company, and the same unfounded hope that something would change right this year.

We play our roles once more.

But dDo we play them identically, or are there perhaps any variationsother ways that we can play them?

Does our lifeves change significantly, or is itare they in stasis?

We will look at a piece of music written exactly 90 years ago that can help us settle this issue.

Its authoThe composer was a man who won great acclaim in Russia and abroad.

In music, it's more natural to say that someone composed a classical piece of music rather than author. While it's not technically wrong, it would be better to see how people refer to classical pieces of music, such as Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody.

An aspiring composer in his early twenties, he suffered afrom severe four-year depression for four years after the disastrous premiere of his First Symphony.

With the help of Moscow's best physician, he overcame it, shattering it to pieces and marked his recovery with the triumphant Second Piano Concerto.

A very prolific period of composing ensued:followed, including another magnificent piano concerto, two sonorous sonatas, a well-received majestic Second Symphony, abstract preludes, dozens of heartfelt romances, and church music, ... All this terminated with the Russian Revolution. This creative output was ultimately disrupted by the Russian Revolution, leading to a significant change in his life and career.

AnHe exiled from 1917, the composer woulRussia in 1917 and never return to Russiaed.

Why did he exile from Russia?

Feedback

You write well and informed me more about Rachmaninoff. His piano concertos are a work of art. To improve how you talk about classical music, I suggest watching videos of TwoSet Violin to watch how they discuss classical composers and their pieces.

Legeartis's avatar
Legeartis

Sept. 4, 2024

0

Thanks for the corrections!

marblemenow's avatar
marblemenow

Sept. 4, 2024

1

You're welcome.

With the beginning of the new academic year, we once again return to the same routine: the same concerns, the same company, and the same unfounded hope that something would change and go right this year.

We play our roles once more.

But do we need to play them identically, or are there perhaps anyn the same manner or can be there be variations?

Not gramatically incorrect, but the way I interpret "identically" is identically to another person as in 2 people having the same. I'm assuming you want to convey that do we as individuals need to follow the same routines, I think rewording it like this is better to convey the question "Do we need to keep doing the same things over and over."

Does our life change significantly, or is it in stasis?

We will lookLooking at a piece of music written exactly 90 years ago that can help us settle this issue.

"We will look at..." and "can help us" seems redundant, but the former has a more demanding, direct tone whilst the latter has a more open, inviting one.

Its authocomposer was a man who won greatis acclaimed in Russia and abroad.

Composer is the term for someone who writes music.

An aspiring composer in his early twenties, he suffered from a severe four-year depression after the disastrous premiere of his First Symphony.

Alternately: You can also rephrase it to "a severe depression which lasted for four years and occurred"

With the help of Moscow's best physician, he overcame it, shattering it to pieces with thehis triumphant Second Piano Concerto.

A very prolific period of composing ensued: another magnificent piano concerto, two sonorous sonatas, a well-received majestic Second Symphony, abstract preludes, dozens of heartfelt romances, church music, ... All this terminatetc. However, all of this [suddenly] ended with the Russian Revolution.

Using etc. helps us end a long list assuming there's more achievements yet to be said. Ending the sentence with ", and church music" also works. Ellipsis after a comma seems clunky to me and I think rewriting it this way maintains the contrast of the composer's success being 'bright' to the impending gloom and dark times that are to come with the Russian Revolution.

An exile fromExiled in 1917, the composer would never return to Russia.

Feedback

Well done! Just a few minor mistakes and a couple changes in tone, but this was well-written and touches on an interesting, sophisticated topic. It's made me become a bit interested in this composer.

Legeartis's avatar
Legeartis

Sept. 2, 2024

0

Thanks! With an exile, I wanted to stress that it was Rachmaninoff's decision and he was not forced out of the country.

phantomviz's avatar
phantomviz

Sept. 2, 2024

0

Ah! In that case, we do have a word for that in English, it is "self-exiled" which literally means that someone has decided to become an exile by their own will and not by the government or society.

We play our roles once more.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Rhapsody on a Piece of Rachmaninoff (part A)


Rhapsody on a Piece of RachmaninoffExploring Rachmaninoff: A Rhapsody on Change and Routine (pPart A1)

With the beginning of the new academic year, we once again return to the same routine: the same concerns, the same company, and the same unfounded hope that something would change right this year.


With the beginning of the new academic year, we once again return to the same routine: the same concerns, the same company, and the same unfounded hope that something would change and go right this year.

With the beginning of the new academic year, we once again return to the same routine:, the same concerns, the same company, and the same unfounded hope that something would change right this year.

But do we play them identically, or are there perhaps any variations?


But do we need to play them identically, or are there perhaps anyn the same manner or can be there be variations?

Not gramatically incorrect, but the way I interpret "identically" is identically to another person as in 2 people having the same. I'm assuming you want to convey that do we as individuals need to follow the same routines, I think rewording it like this is better to convey the question "Do we need to keep doing the same things over and over."

But dDo we play them identically, or are there perhaps any variationsother ways that we can play them?

Does our life change significantly, or is it in stasis?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Does our lifeves change significantly, or is itare they in stasis?

We will look at a piece of music written exactly 90 years ago that can help us settle this issue.


We will lookLooking at a piece of music written exactly 90 years ago that can help us settle this issue.

"We will look at..." and "can help us" seems redundant, but the former has a more demanding, direct tone whilst the latter has a more open, inviting one.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Its author was a man who won great acclaim in Russia and abroad.


Its authocomposer was a man who won greatis acclaimed in Russia and abroad.

Composer is the term for someone who writes music.

Its authoThe composer was a man who won great acclaim in Russia and abroad.

In music, it's more natural to say that someone composed a classical piece of music rather than author. While it's not technically wrong, it would be better to see how people refer to classical pieces of music, such as Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody.

An aspiring composer in his early twenties, he suffered a severe four-year depression after the disastrous premiere of his First Symphony.


An aspiring composer in his early twenties, he suffered from a severe four-year depression after the disastrous premiere of his First Symphony.

Alternately: You can also rephrase it to "a severe depression which lasted for four years and occurred"

An aspiring composer in his early twenties, he suffered afrom severe four-year depression for four years after the disastrous premiere of his First Symphony.

With the help of Moscow's best physician, he overcame it, shattering it to pieces with the triumphant Second Piano Concerto.


With the help of Moscow's best physician, he overcame it, shattering it to pieces with thehis triumphant Second Piano Concerto.

With the help of Moscow's best physician, he overcame it, shattering it to pieces and marked his recovery with the triumphant Second Piano Concerto.

A very prolific period of composing ensued: another magnificent piano concerto, two sonorous sonatas, a well-received majestic Second Symphony, abstract preludes, dozens of heartfelt romances, church music, ... All this terminated with the Russian Revolution.


A very prolific period of composing ensued: another magnificent piano concerto, two sonorous sonatas, a well-received majestic Second Symphony, abstract preludes, dozens of heartfelt romances, church music, ... All this terminatetc. However, all of this [suddenly] ended with the Russian Revolution.

Using etc. helps us end a long list assuming there's more achievements yet to be said. Ending the sentence with ", and church music" also works. Ellipsis after a comma seems clunky to me and I think rewriting it this way maintains the contrast of the composer's success being 'bright' to the impending gloom and dark times that are to come with the Russian Revolution.

A very prolific period of composing ensued:followed, including another magnificent piano concerto, two sonorous sonatas, a well-received majestic Second Symphony, abstract preludes, dozens of heartfelt romances, and church music, ... All this terminated with the Russian Revolution. This creative output was ultimately disrupted by the Russian Revolution, leading to a significant change in his life and career.

An exile from 1917, the composer would never return to Russia.


An exile fromExiled in 1917, the composer would never return to Russia.

AnHe exiled from 1917, the composer woulRussia in 1917 and never return to Russiaed.

Why did he exile from Russia?

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