Sept. 22, 2020
Respect for the Aged Day
My grandfather couldn't suddenly move his legs (paralyzed?) and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
It took about ten minutes until my grandmother call an ambulance.
Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and ambulance crews.
After all, more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him. It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffered from corona virus.
Coincidentally, The day before yesterday was national holiday as Respect for the Aged Day.
My grandfather couldn't suddenlysuddenly couldn't move his legs (paralyzed?) and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
It took about ten minutes until my grandmother could call an ambulance.
Fortunately, he retgained his consciousness and could reply to me and ambulance crews.
After all of that, more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him.
It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffered fromhave corona virus.
Coincidentally, Tthe day before yesterday was a national holiday asfor Respect for the Aged Day.
Respect for the AgedElderly Day
In the US, we generally refer senior citizens as the Elderly, not the Aged. Maybe this is correct in UK or Australian English.
My grandfather couldn't suddenlyall of a sudden couldn't move his legs (paralyzed?) and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
It took about ten minutes untilbefore my grandmother call an ambulance.
Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could replyspond to me and the ambulance crews.
After all,It took more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him.before we took him home, because
Iit took a lot ofng time to find a hospital because he had a. Due to his high fever and, he was suspected to be suffered fromof having the corona virus.
Coincidentally, Tthe day before yesterday wasI helped my grandfather was also a national holiday as Rfor showing respect for the Aged Daelderly.
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good job
My grandfather couldn't suddenlysuddenly couldn't move his legs (paralyzed?) and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
It took about ten minutes until my grandmother called an ambulance.
Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and the ambulance crews.
After all,In total more than three hours hadve passed until we came back home with him.
It took a lot ofng time to find a hospital because he had adue to his high fever and wasthe suspected to be suffered fromicion of corona virus.
I personally thing that this sounds better. But yours wasn't wrong either. You can definitely use "because" like in @Oceandrive's correction :)
Coincidentally, Tthe day before yesterday was national holiday as Respect for the Aged Day.
Sept. 23, 2020
After all,In total more than three hours hadve passed until we came back home with him.
You use it when you something that you thought might not be the case is in fact the case. You can replace "after all" with something like "despite earlier doubts". Which wouldn't make sense in Tommy's case.
My grandfather couldn't suddenlysuddenly couldn't move his legs (paralyzed?) and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
I had to switch 'suddenly' and 'couldn't', that was the only grammar mistake in this sentence.
It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffereding from corona virus.
'suffered' (-ed) is past tense, but sense you are talking in the present moment of that time having the verb 'to suffer' shouldn't be in past especially since you already emphasized that with 'suspected' (-ed) already past tense.
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Overall great job! Keep it up!
Sept. 23, 2020
Better observation! I didn't catch those mistakes like you did!
My grandfather couldn't suddenly move his legs (paralyzed?)suddenly couldn't move his legs and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
Or: "My grandfather was suddenly paralyzed and couldn't move his legs and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday."
It took about ten minutes untilfor my grandmother to call an ambulance.
Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and the ambulance crews.¶
I would probably say "remained conscious" instead of "retained his consciousness," but either makes sense.
After all, mMore than three hours had passed until we came back home with him.
I think I would say "before" here instead of "until" although both make sense. The difference between the two is somewhat slight and often unclear.
As I understand it, “until” emphasizes the moment when something happens. An example where until is better: "Do not let your feet start moving until the gun fires." Until emphasizes the gun shot as a defining moment or trigger where the runner starts.
“Before” emphasizes a period of time sequence or precondition. An example where before is better: "Most children do not start school before their sixth birthday." A sixth birthday is not always the direct trigger before starting school, some may start later, so until would be too abrupt.
It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffereding from the corona virus.
Coincidentally, Tthe day before yesterday was the national holiday known as Respect for the Aged Day.
Or: "Coincidentally, the day before yesterday was Respect for the Aged Day."
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I hope your grandfather feels better soon!
My grandfather couldn't suddenly move his legs (paralyzed?)suddenly couldn't move his legs and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
Or "My grandfather's legs were suddenly paralyzed and he fell..."
It took about ten minutes until my grandmother called an ambulance.
Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me andthe ambulance crews and me.
It's best to put yourself at the end of a series of references to other people:
"She liked him and me" (better than "She liked me and him").
Afterll in all, more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him.
"After all" means something different ("in view of all the circumstances").
It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffereding from corona virus.
Coincidentally, Tthe day before yesterday was a national holiday as, Respect for the Aged Day.
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Well-written. I'm sorry for your grandfather. I hope he's doing better now.
My grandfather couldn't suddenlysuddenly couldn't move his legs (paralyzed?) and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday.
It took about ten minutes until my grandmother called an ambulance.
Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and the ambulance crews.
Instead of he retained his consciousness, a simpler way to put it would be "He remained conscious."
After all,It took more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him.
"After all" isn't really used like this. I can't really explain it so I'll try to show it.
Ex: "After all, you can't be in two places at once"
Ex: "He was, after all, extremely talented".
It took a lot ofng time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffereding from corona virus.
Coincidentally, The day before yesterday was a national holiday known as Respect for the Aged Day.
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Great Job! I hope these corrections helped!
Sept. 23, 2020
Better observation! I didn't catch those mistakes like you did!
Sept. 23, 2020
After all,It took more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him.
You use it when you something that you thought might not be the case is in fact the case. You can replace "after all" with something like "despite earlier doubts". Which wouldn't make sense in Tommy's case.
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Respect for the Aged Day Respect for the In the US, we generally refer senior citizens as the Elderly, not the Aged. Maybe this is correct in UK or Australian English. |
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My grandfather couldn't suddenly move his legs (paralyzed?) and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday. My grandfather My grandfather Or "My grandfather's legs were suddenly paralyzed and he fell..." My grandfather Or: "My grandfather was suddenly paralyzed and couldn't move his legs and fell down the stairs the day before yesterday." My grandfather I had to switch 'suddenly' and 'couldn't', that was the only grammar mistake in this sentence. My grandfather My grandfather My grandfather |
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It took about ten minutes until my grandmother call an ambulance. It took about ten minutes until my grandmother called an ambulance. It took about ten minutes until my grandmother called an ambulance. It took about ten minutes It took about ten minutes until my grandmother called an ambulance. It took about ten minutes It took about ten minutes until my grandmother could call an ambulance. |
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Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and ambulance crews. Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and the ambulance crews. Instead of he retained his consciousness, a simpler way to put it would be "He remained conscious." Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to It's best to put yourself at the end of a series of references to other people: "She liked him and me" (better than "She liked me and him"). Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and the ambulance crew I would probably say "remained conscious" instead of "retained his consciousness," but either makes sense. Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could reply to me and the ambulance crew Fortunately, he retained his consciousness and could re Fortunately, he re |
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After all, more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him.
"After all" isn't really used like this. I can't really explain it so I'll try to show it. Ex: "After all, you can't be in two places at once" Ex: "He was, after all, extremely talented". A "After all" means something different ("in view of all the circumstances").
I think I would say "before" here instead of "until" although both make sense. The difference between the two is somewhat slight and often unclear. As I understand it, “until” emphasizes the moment when something happens. An example where until is better: "Do not let your feet start moving until the gun fires." Until emphasizes the gun shot as a defining moment or trigger where the runner starts. “Before” emphasizes a period of time sequence or precondition. An example where before is better: "Most children do not start school before their sixth birthday." A sixth birthday is not always the direct trigger before starting school, some may start later, so until would be too abrupt.
After all of that, more than three hours had passed until we came back home with him. |
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It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffered from corona virus. It took a lo It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffer It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffer It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to be suffer 'suffered' (-ed) is past tense, but sense you are talking in the present moment of that time having the verb 'to suffer' shouldn't be in past especially since you already emphasized that with 'suspected' (-ed) already past tense. It took a lo I personally thing that this sounds better. But yours wasn't wrong either. You can definitely use "because" like in @Oceandrive's correction :)
It took a lot of time to find a hospital because he had a high fever and was suspected to |
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Coincidentally, The day before yesterday was national holiday as Respect for the Aged Day. Coincidentally, The day before yesterday was a national holiday known as Respect for the Aged Day. Coincidentally, Coincidentally, Or: "Coincidentally, the day before yesterday was Respect for the Aged Day." Coincidentally, Coincidentally, Coincidentally, |
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