isaac's avatar
isaac

April 15, 2023

1
Report about the bypass works around Madrid

Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels since decades, so a change in the circulation system through a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.
The capital is one of the most contaminated areas in Spain, that is the reason why current politicians are specially concerned about environmental problems. Building a new motorway around the city would set this problem away so as to reduce noteacibly pollutants as well as noise. Such changes will improve citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher stardards in terms of tourism. Nonetheless, initially roadworks will cause a potential damage to the nature surroundings around the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with this purpose.

Secondly, a bypass will result in less traffic jams leading to a more fluent circulation, specially in the city centre. As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it, consequently such measures shall contribute to a better prospect in economical terms rather than a detriment in this sector. Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, thereby this project will not involve loss in tourism. The arquitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during holidays.
All in all, the advantages linked to this idea exceed by far drawbacks. In the long term, environment, citizens, tourism and ultimately the country will raise to another level.


Your class has attended a public meeting on a proposal to build a bypass around your town (a road that avoids the town). You have made the notes below.

Local politicians point out the following
benefits of the bypass:

+ a welcome reduction in pollution and
noise

+ improved transport links

+ less traffic congestion in the town
centre

Some opinions expressed in the meeting

“Traders in the town will suffer
economically.”

“Land will have to be cleared, and we
are concerned about the impact on the
environment.”

“What about loss of revenue when tourists
no longer visit sites of historical interest in
the town?”

Write an essay for your tutor discussing two of the benefits in your notes. You
should explain whether you think the advantages of the bypass outweigh the
isadvantages and provide reasons to support your opinion

You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the meeting, but
you should use your own words as far as possible.

writingc1cae
Corrections

Report about the bBypass worksConstruction around Madrid

This sounds more natural in the US.

Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels sincefor decades, so a change in the circulation systemraffic flow through a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.

We use "traffic flow" and "flow of traffic" in the US instead of "circulation."

The capital is one of the most contaminated areas in Spain, t. That is the reason why current politicians are especially concerned about environmental problems.

https://byjus.com/english/difference-between-specially-and-especially/

Building a new motorway around the city would setnd this problem away so as to reduce noteaciblybecause it will noticeably reduce pollutants as well as noise.

Such changes will improve the health of citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher starndards in terms of tourism.

Nonetheless, initially roadworks construction will cause a potential damage to the natureal surroundings aroundof the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with(for this purpose).

Secondly, a bypass will result in less traffic jams leading to a more fluent circulationsmoother traffic patterns, especially in the city centrer.

"Center" is the American spelling.

As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it, c. Consequently, such measures shall contribute to a better prospect in economical terms rather than a detriment in this sector.

Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, t. Therebyfore, this project will not involve a loss in tourism.

The arquchitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during the holidays.

This is a US correction.

All in all, the advantages linked to this ideafar exceed by farthe drawbacks.

In the long term, the environment, our citizens, tourism and, ultimately, the country will raise to another level.

raise vs rise
raise is a transitive verb and always requires a direct object.
rise is intransitive and never uses a direct object.

Feedback

Nice work. Try using less flowery language.

isaac's avatar
isaac

April 25, 2023

1

Thank Mari for correcting my writing and your explanations

Report about the bypass works around Madrid

Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels sincefor decades, so a change in the circulation system through a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.

The capital is one of the most contaminapolluted areas in Spain, that is the reason. This is why current politicians are especially concerned about environmental problems.

"the reason" makes sense but the sentence is more concise without it.
"polluted" usually is used more than "contaminated" when talking about a city.

Building a new motorway around the city would solvet this problem away so as to reduce noteacibly, significantly reducing pollutants as well as noise.

"Solve" is the most common verb used with "problem"

Such changes will improve citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher starndards in terms of tourism.

Nonetheless, initially roadworks will cause a potential damage to the nature surroundings around the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with this purpose.

"damage" is uncountable

Secondly, a bypass will result in less traffic jams leading to a more fluentand improve circulation, especially in the city centre.

"fluent" is usually only used in the context of a language

As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it, consequently such measures shall contribute to a better prospect in economical terms rather than a detriment in this sectorwill help the economy rather than hurt it.

"Shall" is extremely formal and sounds pretty outdated nowadays, in my opinion.
The second part of the sentence is very wordy and seems a bit awkward, so I shortened it while still retaining your point.

Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, thereby this project will not involvecause a loss in tourism.

The arquchitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain are definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during holidays.

All in all, the advantages linked to this idea exceed by farthe drawbacks by far.

In the long term, the environment, the citizens, tourism and ultimately the country will raise to another level.

Feedback

Nice job! My advice for you would be to try to keep your sentences concise to help them flow better.

isaac's avatar
isaac

April 25, 2023

1

Thanks for your corrections and advice

Report aboutEditorial on the bypass works around Madrid

A report is more of a factual form of writing. This is an opinion piece, and as such might be called an "editorial" (typically when it's written by an editor of a publication such as a newspaper) or just an "opinion"

Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels sincefor decades, so a changen improvement in the circulation system throughvia a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.

One says "since the year 2000" but "for decades." The others are stylistic suggestions

The capital is one of the most contaminated areas in Spain, that is the reason why currentwhich is why local politicians are especially concerned about environmental problems.

Building a new motorway around the city would setmove this problem away from the city so as to reduce noticeacibly pollutants as well as noise.

Such changes will improve citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher stardards in terms of tourism.

Nonetheless, initially roadworks will cause aroadworks have the potential to cause damage to the natureal surroundings aroundof the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with this purposeof formerly undeveloped areas.

Secondly, a bypass will result in lessfewer traffic jams leading to a more fluentid circulation, especially in the city centre.

Technically, you are supposed to use "fewer" with countable nouns: "less water," but "fewer traffic jams." Native speakers often don't follow this rule in certain cases, but it is probably best to try to follow it in formal writing. Speech is "fluent," traffic or other movement is "fluid."

As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it,this, and consequently such measures shawill contribute to a better prospect in economical termeconomic prospects rather than having a detriment ial impact on this sector.

Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, therebyfore this project will not involve loss in tourism.

The arquchitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during holidays.

"definitely" sounds a little too informal for this type of writing

All in all, the advantages linked to this ideaof this proposal far exceed by farthe drawbacks.

In the long term, environment, citizens, tourismthe wellbeing of citizens and the environment, the tourism industry, and ultimately the entire country will raisebe elevated to another level by the implementation of this proposal.

beaujacques_chevalhomme's avatar
beaujacques_chevalhomme

April 15, 2023

0

You evidently write at a good level in English, so a lot of my feedback was stylistic in nature, to really make it sound like what a native speaker might write in a newspaper, for instance.

isaac's avatar
isaac

April 25, 2023

1

Thank you so much for your grammatic and stylistic corrections, they help me a lot

Report about the bypass works around Madrid


Report aboutEditorial on the bypass works around Madrid

A report is more of a factual form of writing. This is an opinion piece, and as such might be called an "editorial" (typically when it's written by an editor of a publication such as a newspaper) or just an "opinion"

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Report about the bBypass worksConstruction around Madrid

This sounds more natural in the US.

Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels since decades, so a change in the circulation system through a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.


Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels sincefor decades, so a changen improvement in the circulation system throughvia a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.

One says "since the year 2000" but "for decades." The others are stylistic suggestions

Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels sincefor decades, so a change in the circulation system through a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.

Madrid has been suffering from traffic congestion and high pollution levels sincefor decades, so a change in the circulation systemraffic flow through a bypass could benefit both pedestrians and drivers.

We use "traffic flow" and "flow of traffic" in the US instead of "circulation."

The capital is one of the most contaminated areas in Spain, that is the reason why current politicians are specially concerned about environmental problems.


The capital is one of the most contaminated areas in Spain, that is the reason why currentwhich is why local politicians are especially concerned about environmental problems.

The capital is one of the most contaminapolluted areas in Spain, that is the reason. This is why current politicians are especially concerned about environmental problems.

"the reason" makes sense but the sentence is more concise without it. "polluted" usually is used more than "contaminated" when talking about a city.

The capital is one of the most contaminated areas in Spain, t. That is the reason why current politicians are especially concerned about environmental problems.

https://byjus.com/english/difference-between-specially-and-especially/

Building a new motorway around the city would set this problem away so as to reduce noteacibly pollutants as well as noise.


Building a new motorway around the city would setmove this problem away from the city so as to reduce noticeacibly pollutants as well as noise.

Building a new motorway around the city would solvet this problem away so as to reduce noteacibly, significantly reducing pollutants as well as noise.

"Solve" is the most common verb used with "problem"

Building a new motorway around the city would setnd this problem away so as to reduce noteaciblybecause it will noticeably reduce pollutants as well as noise.

Such changes will improve citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher stardards in terms of tourism.


Such changes will improve citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher stardards in terms of tourism.

Such changes will improve citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher starndards in terms of tourism.

Such changes will improve the health of citizens’ health and raise Madrid to a higher starndards in terms of tourism.

Nonetheless, initially roadworks will cause a potential damage to the nature surroundings around the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with this purpose.


Nonetheless, initially roadworks will cause aroadworks have the potential to cause damage to the natureal surroundings aroundof the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with this purposeof formerly undeveloped areas.

Nonetheless, initially roadworks will cause a potential damage to the nature surroundings around the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with this purpose.

"damage" is uncountable

Nonetheless, initially roadworks construction will cause a potential damage to the natureal surroundings aroundof the city, since it will involve an intensive land use with(for this purpose).

Secondly, a bypass will result in less traffic jams leading to a more fluent circulation, specially in the city centre.


Secondly, a bypass will result in lessfewer traffic jams leading to a more fluentid circulation, especially in the city centre.

Technically, you are supposed to use "fewer" with countable nouns: "less water," but "fewer traffic jams." Native speakers often don't follow this rule in certain cases, but it is probably best to try to follow it in formal writing. Speech is "fluent," traffic or other movement is "fluid."

Secondly, a bypass will result in less traffic jams leading to a more fluentand improve circulation, especially in the city centre.

"fluent" is usually only used in the context of a language

Secondly, a bypass will result in less traffic jams leading to a more fluent circulationsmoother traffic patterns, especially in the city centrer.

"Center" is the American spelling.

As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it, consequently such measures shall contribute to a better prospect in economical terms rather than a detriment in this sector.


As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it,this, and consequently such measures shawill contribute to a better prospect in economical termeconomic prospects rather than having a detriment ial impact on this sector.

As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it, consequently such measures shall contribute to a better prospect in economical terms rather than a detriment in this sectorwill help the economy rather than hurt it.

"Shall" is extremely formal and sounds pretty outdated nowadays, in my opinion. The second part of the sentence is very wordy and seems a bit awkward, so I shortened it while still retaining your point.

As it was mentioned above, tourists will appreciate it, c. Consequently, such measures shall contribute to a better prospect in economical terms rather than a detriment in this sector.

Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, thereby this project will not involve loss in tourism.


Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, therebyfore this project will not involve loss in tourism.

Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, thereby this project will not involvecause a loss in tourism.

Madrid is an internationally reknowned city, t. Therebyfore, this project will not involve a loss in tourism.

The arquitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during holidays.


The arquchitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during holidays.

"definitely" sounds a little too informal for this type of writing

The arquchitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain are definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during holidays.

The arquchitecture, museums and historical places in the capital of Spain definitely constitute a major reason to stay here during the holidays.

This is a US correction.

All in all, the advantages linked to this idea exceed by far drawbacks.


All in all, the advantages linked to this ideaof this proposal far exceed by farthe drawbacks.

All in all, the advantages linked to this idea exceed by farthe drawbacks by far.

All in all, the advantages linked to this ideafar exceed by farthe drawbacks.

In the long term, environment, citizens, tourism and ultimately the country will raise to another level.


In the long term, environment, citizens, tourismthe wellbeing of citizens and the environment, the tourism industry, and ultimately the entire country will raisebe elevated to another level by the implementation of this proposal.

In the long term, the environment, the citizens, tourism and ultimately the country will raise to another level.

In the long term, the environment, our citizens, tourism and, ultimately, the country will raise to another level.

raise vs rise raise is a transitive verb and always requires a direct object. rise is intransitive and never uses a direct object.

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