Nowadays, many families have both parents workingtwo working parents.

Some working parents believe other family members like, such as grandparents can, are the best choice for takeing care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

not necessary.

No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of dependThere are pros and cons associated with having ona grandparents to take care of their children andor assigning the task of nurturing themresponsibility to childcare centers.

If I were forced to choose, I would definitely think that putting these institutions in chn my opinion, I think a childcarge of looking after children is thecenter is a better choice.

It is my firm belief that an excellent childcare center can babysit them for their parents better than their grandparents can do, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.

This sentence is basically saying the exact same thing as the previous one.

On the one hand,There are definitely many advantages of leaving the children to the care of their grandparents, as they have an emotional attachments to their grandchildren and due to this, it is natural that they care more about them than people working in childcare institutions who are strangers to children.

They arGrandparents also tend to be more familiar with the children and know better about their particula, including their interests and behavior patterns.

For example, they know what most annoys the children, whether it is some kind of behavior or food and so on, and they can avoid them and reduce the tension between themselves and children. and what food they like. Using this knowledge, the grandparents will be able to avoid tension and discipline the children more effectively.

Since they have some kind of bond with children they care significantly more about theirThey also have a strong bond with children, so that they can address the children's physical and mental health.

Moreover, the children arthemselves tend to be more relaxed and comfortable witharound their own grandparents and can have. They will be able to spend enjoyable times beside them.together.

In addition, grandparents have experience in raising children and this helps them to deal with children more effectively.

I combined this sentence with an earlier one.

On the other hand, babysitters working in childcare centers are experts on this subjectaking care of children.

In scientific terms, tTheir knowledge of children is more precise and profoundacademic than their children’s grandparents, who havare not beenprofessionally trained for this job.

Medical evidence shows that theadult personality of adults is significantly influenced by their childhood.

The way children are raised and nurtured has a great andleaves a lasting impact on their characters, shaping who they are later in life.

As anFor example, the parents who spoil their children although do not have any ill will but this treatment can adversely leadcan cause them to be narcissistic.

In the case above, if theyaddition, if the parents do not give them theenough affection they need they mayo their children, they will end up produce someing antisocial adults.

Moreover, eEven among scientists, there are great controversies overdiffering opinions regarding the right methods of raising children.

Considering the importance of the matter, expert babysitters canGiven these facts, the professional babysitters may be able to handle the children much better than their grandparents or other relatives.

In addition to the points mentioned above, children can socialize with otheir peersr children in childcare centers andto improve their social and group skills.

As aIn conclusion, due to the mentioned reasons, I believe childcare centers can do a better job than inexpertienced grandparents in nurturing children.

No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects ofto both depending on grandparents to take care offor childcaren and assigning the task of nurturing them to childcare centers.

If you’re writing a persuasive essay, this is not a strong start. You want to avoid broad, unsupportable statements like “No one can deny...”. This sentence doesn’t add any substance to your essay.

If I were forced to choose, I would definitely think that putting theschildcare institutions in charge of looking after children is the better choice.

Another essay-writing point more than a grammatical point: extra bits like “If I were forced to choose...” are unnecessarily wordy.

It is my firm belief that an excellent childcare center can babysit themchildren for their parents better than their grandparents can do, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.

We know that you are going to tell us about your argument; you don’t need to state that.

On the one hand, grandparents have emotional attachments to their grandchildren and d. Due to thiese attachments, it is natural that they grandparents care more about themose children than people in childcare institutions, who are strangers to those children.

You need to make sure the referents of your pronouns are clear. The pronoun typically refers to the closest noun, so while it might seem too wordy to keep typing out the name of the referent(s), it may be necessary.

In terms of essay structure, it seems unusual to start off with praising the grandparents when you just said that childcare centers are better. You should start with evidence to support your argument and then later address possible concessions.

They grandparents are more familiar with the children and know better about their particular interests and behaviors.

For example, theygrandparents know what most annoys children, whether it istheir grandchildren, be it some kind of behavior or food and so on, and they can avoid them andose things, thereby reduceing the tension between themselves and the children.

Since theygrandparents have some kind of bond with the children, they care significantly more about their physical and mental health.

Moreover, children are more relaxed and comfortable with their grandparents and can have enjoyablegood times besidewith them.

In addition, grandparents have experience in raising children, and this helps them to deal with children more effectively.

In scientific terms, their knowledge of children is more precise and profound than their children’sat of most grandparents, who have not been trained for thise job.

The way children are raised and nurtured has a great and lasting impact on their characters, shaping who they are.

As anFor example, the parents who spoil their children although domay not have any ill willintent, but this treatment can adversely lead themlead their children to become narcissistic.

In the case above, if theyFurthermore, if parents do not give themchildren the affection they need, they may produce s children may become antisocial adults.

No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of depending on grandparents to take care of children andor of assigning the task of nurturing them to childcare centers.

Here, you are contrasting the two things: grandparent care and childcare center care. Because you are going for CONTRAST, you need "or" instead of "and".

It is my firm belief that an excellent childcare center can babysit themchildren for their parents better than their grandparents can do, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.

Your sentence was grammatical and NOT WRONG. Stylistically, replacing "them" with "children" will read more naturally.

On the one hand, grandparents have emotional attachments to their grandchildren and due to this, it is natural that they care more about them than people in childcare institutions who are strangers to the children.

You need the "the" to clarify the children are the grandchildren from earlier in the sentence. Again what you have is not an error so much as a stylistic thing. Native speakers would expect a "the" where I put one in.

They are more familiar with the children and know better about their particular interests and behaviors.

You are pointing out the "reasons for grandparents to watch the children" here. When you say "children" it sounds like "all children everywhere" when what you mean is "the children who belong to the grandparents". Native speakers will expect a "the".

For example, they know what most annoys the children, whether it is some kind of behavior or food and so on, and they can avoid them and reduce the tension between themselves and the children.

See above.

Since they have some kind of bond with the children they care significantly more about their physical and mental health.

see above

Moreover, the children are more relaxed and comfortable with their grandparents and can have enjoyable times besidewith them.

We would say "with them" instead of "beside them". It's more general. If you were talking about riding in a car next to a grandmother, then you would say "beside them" and mean it literally. "with them" is more general and does not imply an actual location like "beside them".

In scientific terms, their knowledge of children is more precise and profound than their children’s grandparents who have not been trained for this job.

the children. The 's shows possession so you don't need "their" in front.

As an example, the parents who spoil their children, although they do not have any ill will but this treatment can adversely lead them to be, can still adversely affect them, causing narcissisticm.

This sentence is trying to do a lot of work and it is not quite managing it. The original is nongrammatical "although do not have any ill will" is not good. "This treatment can adversely lead them to be narcissistic" is OK but it refers to the children, not the parents. I've revised it but it's still not... ideal.