Dec. 16, 2021
Pushing Iron Hoop
When I was a child, the living conditions in the countryside were very poor. Children didn't have any toys, and we could only invent toys based on our daily stuff by ourselves. There was no tap water back then. Our village only had a public well and every family drank water from it. So each family had a pair of buckets to get water, but the buckets were not made of iron sheets, they were actually made of wood. Each bucket has two iron hoops to tighten the bucket. After many years of using, the buckets will break, and those two iron hoops will be left and become our toys. When we played it, we found a thin steel line and made a supporting seat on one end, and then we held the steel line and used the line seat to push that iron hoop forward and keep it from falling down. We fellow kids often had competitions. The kid who had made the iron hoop move the longest distance without falling was the winner.
Pushing the Iron Hoop
When I was a child, the living conditions in the countryside were very poor.
Children didn't have any toys, and we could only invent toys based onusing materials from our daily stufflives by ourselves.
There was no tap water back then.
Our village only had a public well and every family drank water from it.
So each family had a pair of buckets to get water, but the buckets were not made of iron sheets, they were actually made of wood.
Each bucket has two iron hoops to tighten the bucket.
After many years of usingage, the buckets willould break, and those two iron hoops will be left behind and become our toys.
When we played with it, we found a thin steel line and made a supporting seat(?) on one end, and then we held the steel line and used the line seat to push that iron hoop forward and keep it from falling down.
I'm not sure what you meant by "seat" here. Judging by the picture attatched, I thin you mean "handle"?
We fellowUs kids often had competitions.
"Us kids" might not be seen as grammatical, but it sounds quite natural. "My friends and our fellow kids" could also work.
The kid who had made the iron hoop move the longest distance without letting it falling was the winner.
Your choice was correct as well, but in my opinion, using "the kid" as the subject for both "letting it fall" and "make the iron hoop move" flows better.
Feedback
Very well-written! Only a few slight mistakes! Good job :)
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Pushing Iron Hoop Pushing the Iron Hoop |
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When I was a child, the living conditions in the countryside were very poor. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Children didn't have any toys, and we could only invent toys based on our daily stuff by ourselves. Children didn't have any toys, and we could only invent toys |
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There was no tap water back then. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Our village only had a public well and every family drank water from it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So each family had a pair of buckets to get water, but the buckets were not made of iron sheets, they were actually made of wood. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Each bucket has two iron hoops to tighten the bucket. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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After many years of using, the buckets will break, and those two iron hoops will be left and become our toys. After many years of us |
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When we played it, we found a thin steel line and made a supporting seat on one end, and then we held the steel line and used the line seat to push that iron hoop forward and keep it from falling down. When we played with it, we found a thin steel line and made a supporting seat(?) on one end, and then we held the steel line and used the line seat to push that iron hoop forward and keep it from falling down. I'm not sure what you meant by "seat" here. Judging by the picture attatched, I thin you mean "handle"? |
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We fellow kids often had competitions.
"Us kids" might not be seen as grammatical, but it sounds quite natural. "My friends and our fellow kids" could also work. |
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The kid who had made the iron hoop move the longest distance without falling was the winner. The kid who had made the iron hoop move the longest distance without letting it fall Your choice was correct as well, but in my opinion, using "the kid" as the subject for both "letting it fall" and "make the iron hoop move" flows better. |
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