Pros and Cons ofor Children of Watching Television Pros and Cons of Children Watching Television

Yours makes sense. Mine sounds more natural.

VA variety of programs and shows make television a tremendous source of entertainment. A variety of programs and shows make television a tremendous source of entertainment.

I would consider "tremendously ___ source of entertainment" instead. (e.g. tremendously valuable/sensible/etc.)

However, what advantages and difficulties can television can bring to children’s lives? However, what advantages and difficulties can television bring to children’s lives?

From spectacular documentary films on wildlife to fascinating programmes about space, ithey gives rich, emotional impressions to children’s outlook tos on the world. From spectacular documentary films on wildlife to fascinating programmes about space, it gives rich, emotional impressions to children’s outlooks on the world.

In many cases, this knowledge can help them to learn better at school, and what’s more, can lay the foundation to thefor interests in children’sthe future lives. In many cases, this knowledge can help them to learn better at school, and what’s more, lay the foundation for interests in the future.

A little simpler.

One of the major drawbacks occurs in the situations when parents let their children to watch television for too much time. One of the major drawbacks occurs in situations when parents let their children watch television for too much time.

Entertaining programs and shows, and colorful cartoons can be highly addictive for children attention, often distracting them from doing their homework, reading books, doing sport, and other activities. Entertaining programs and shows and colorful cartoons can be highly addictive for children attention, often distracting them from doing their homework, reading books, doing sport, and other activities.

I added a final Oxford comma, but that's my preference.

Being mentally and emotionally vulnerable, children often start wishdesiring the products enforcpresented to them by the market specialists. Being mentally and emotionally vulnerable, children often start desiring the products presented to them by market specialists.

As a result, this adds compulsiveness to the child’s behaviour, moreoverthus directing him or herthem to terrorize histheir parents to buy the products shown in the commercials. As a result, this adds compulsiveness to the child’s behaviour, thus directing them to terrorize their parents to buy the products shown in the commercials.

You can use the third person plural (they/them/their) when the gender of the subject is unclear. 'His or her' also works Terrorize is often used in this context to humorous effect. 'Beg' might be more neutral.

To summarize those points, I will state that modern television can add benefits to children’s lives when it is being used properly, and disadvantages when it is used the wrong way. To summarize those points, modern television can add benefits to children’s lives when it is being used properly, and disadvantages when it is used the wrong way.

Not really an error, but 'I will state' implies you'll make the statement in the future. But you're making it right now. Lots of natives write like this, but it's considered a little inelegant. It's probably great for IELTS though.

Watching educational programmes causes children to be more curious and helps tohem understand the world better, whereas an excessive watching of televisionviewing can lead to an addictive and uncontrollable behaviour. Watching educational programmes causes children to be more curious and helps them understand the world better, whereas excessive viewing can lead to addictive and uncontrollable behaviour.

Uncontrollable? Why uncontrollable? Because of the commercials? I might go for unhealthy behavior.