Aug. 12, 2020
Prisons
Prison is the best punishment for criminals. Discuss.
Today, prison is the main instrument for punishing criminals. In my opinion, the role of prison in the punishment system should be minimized to a place for people who committed a serious crime. In this essay I will discuss the main points for shrinking the role of prison in modern society.
The first point is that prisons are economically inefficient. What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the government are forced to build new ones to fill the growing needs. As a result, this leads to the budget spending, which I think is not the best option for allocating tax payers’ money.
Another noticeable point is that the prison is not suitable for all kinds of crimes. That is to say, prison is a cruel punishment for minor offenses such as shoplifting. In many cases, people who committed that kind of crimes can become habitual criminals after leaving the prison. Therefore, I think the sentences for that kind of crimes should be changed for a lighter punishment such a community service.
Let’s turn to the opposite side of the argument. Many people believe that the prison is the only way to punish criminals. It is reasonable that there is no place in society for the criminals who committed a serious crime, and it is clear that serious crimes such as murder or rape deserve a prison sentence. However, I still insist that the minor offenses should be treated differently.
All in all, prison is one of the institutions that should serve the needs of society. If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or turning individuals to the habitual criminals, it becomes a burden for the society. Therefore, I believe that the role of prison as a punishment tool should be minimized in future.
Today, prison is the main instrumenttool for punishing criminals.
In this essay I will discuss the main points forreasons to shrinking the role of prison in modern society.
The first point is that prisons are economically inefficient.
What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity, prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the government areis forced to build new ones to fill the growing needs.
I deleted "what I mean by this" because the sentence flows smoothly without that beginning.
As a result, this leads to the budget spending, which IIn my opinion, thinks is not the best option for allocatinguse of tax payers’ money.
The previous sentence implies that the government is sending money, so you don't have to repeat that here.
Another noticeable point is that the prison is not suitable for all kinds of crimes.
That is to say, prison is a cruel punishment for minor offenses such as shoplifting.
In many cases, people who committed that kind of crimes can become habitual criminals after leaving the prison.
Therefore, I think the sentences forat thatis kind of crimes should be changed forhave a lighter punishment, such as community service.
Let’s turn to the oppositelook at the other side of the argument.
Many people believe that the prison is the only way to punish criminals.
It is reasonable to argue that there is no place in society for the criminals who committed a serious crimes, and it is clear that serious crimes such as murder or rape deserve a prison sentence.
However, I still insistbelieve that the minor offenses should be treated differently.
All in all, prison is one of the institutions that should serve the needs of society.
If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or turning individuals to the habitual criminals, ithey becomes a burden for the society.
Feedback
All in all, this was really good! I made edits with articles (a/the/no article) and to make the sentences flow more smoothly.
Prisons
PrisIncarceration is the best punishment for criminals.
Incarceration may be the more suitable word to use here. Incarceration is being confined in prison.
Discuss.
Today, prisincarceration is the main instrument used for punishing criminals.
In my opinion, the role of prisons in the punishmentenal system should be minimized to autilised as place for people who have committed a serious crimes.
Your original sentence was fine, this is just a suggetstion on how to word it more formally.
In this essay I will shall be discussing the main points for shrinkminimising the role of prisons in modern society.
Generally speaking it is good to avoid the phrase "in this essay".
The first point is that prisons are economically inefficient.
What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the governments are forced to build new ones to fulfill the growing needemands.
I have corrected to make it a more assertive, professional statement.
As a result, this leads to the budget spending, which I thinkincreased spending of the budget, which is not the best option for allocating tax payers’ money.
Edits made the piece more assertive, as typically seen in an essay.
Another noticeable popoint worth notintg is that the prisincarceration is not a suitable punishment for all kinds of crimes.
That is to say, prisIncarceration is a cruel punishment for minor offenses such as shoplifting.
Again, making the point more assertive.
In many cases, people who committed that kindose sorts of crimes can become habitual criminals after leaving the prison.
Therefore, I think the sentences for that kind ofose minor crimes should be changed for a lightesser punishment such as community service.
Let’s turn to the opposite side of the argument.
Many people believe that the prisincarceration is the only way to punish criminals.
It is reasonable to say that there is no place in society for the criminals who have committed a serious crimes, and it is clear that serious crimes such as murder or rape deserve a prison sentence.
However, I still insist that the minor offenses should be treathandled differently.
All in allIn conclusion, prison is one of the institutions that should serve the needs of society.
If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or if they turning individuals into the habitual criminals, ithey becomes a burden for theon society.
Therefore, I believe that the role of prison as a way of punishment tool should be minimized in future.
Feedback
Amazing job! The edits I have made are a suggestion on how to write this as a more serious, professional essay. In essays on topics it is good to make your points strong and avoid phrases such as "I think", In essays like this you want the reader to agree with you, and for that you need confidence in your words. I think you done really well in this essay, now the next step is to challenge yourself that little bit more! Good job.
In this essay I will discuss the main points forreasons to shrinking the role of prison in modern society.
What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity, prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the government areis forced to build new ones to fill the growing needs.
As a result, this leads to the budget sincreased pending, which I think is not the best option for allocating tax payers’ money.
Another noticeableimportant point is that the prison is not suitable for all kinds of crimes.
That is to say, prison is a cruel punishment for minor offenses such as shoplifting.
In many cases, people who committed that kind of crimes can become habitual criminals after leaving the prison.
Therefore, I think theat sentences for thatose kind of crimes should be changed forto a lighter punishment, such as community service.
Many people believe that the prison is the only way to punish criminals.
It is reasonable that there is no place in society for the criminals who have committed a serious crime, and it is clear that serious crimes such as murder or rape deserve a prison sentence.
However, I still insist that the minor offenses should be treated differently.
All in all, prison is one of the institutions that should serve the needs of society.
If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or if they turning individuals into the habitual criminals, ithey becomes a burden for theon society.
Prisons
Prison is the best punishment for criminals.
Discuss.
Today, prison is the main instrument for punishing criminals.
In my opinion, the role of prison in the punishmentenal system should be minimized to a place for people who committed a serious crimes.
You could also say "have committed." Either the simple present or present perfect is needed because we are describing a present state.
I would also rephrase the second half to "should be minimized and be a place for people who commit serious crimes," but I think it's not unacceptable as is.
In this essay I will discuss the main points for shrinking the role of prison in modern society.
The first point is that prisons are economically inefficient.
What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity, prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the government are forced to build new ones to fill the growing needs.
As a result, this leads to the budget spending, which I think is not the best option for allocating tax payers’ money.
"Budget spending" doesn't sound right to me. I suppose you could write "deficit spending," but that has a specific meaning (spending more than incoming revenue) that may not be applicable here. Alternatively, I would just write "this leads to an increased government budget."
Another noticeable point is that the prison is not suitable for all kinds of crimes.
I would prefer "all types," "all sorts," or "every kind." It seems more precise that way. My problem with it is that “all kinds of X” is often used as an idiom to refer to variety and number but often will not encompass the whole group: https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/all+kinds+of
That is to say, prison is a cruel punishment for minor offenses such as shoplifting.
In many cases, people who committed that kind of crimes can become habitual criminals after leaving the prison.
Therefore, I think the sentences for that kind of crimes should be changed for a lighter punishment such a community service.
Let’s turn to the opposite side of the argument.
Many people believe that the prison is the only way to punish criminals.
It is reasonable that there is no place in society for the criminals who committed a serious crime, and it is clear that serious crimes such as murder or rape deserve a prison sentence.
However, I still insist that the minor offenses should be treated differently.
All in all, prison is one of the institutions that should serve the needs of society.
If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or if they turning individuals to the habitual criminals, ithey becomes a burden for the society.
Feedback
Great job! Just some small mistakes and adjustments for style and wording.
Aug. 12, 2020
Another noticeable point is that the prison is not suitable for all kinds of crimes.
No, crimes plural. Crime as a collective noun refers to "the problems out there in society", whereas crimes plural refer to individual laws or offences.
Aug. 12, 2020
No, crimes plural. Crime as a collective noun refers to "the problems out there in society", whereas crimes plural refer to individual laws or offences.
While in retrospect the plural is fine, the singular is also well-attested. There are many search results (and from respectable sources) for “all sorts of crime,” and my experience is that the singular is often but not always acceptable for this type of construction. See for example the discussion here: https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/5539/types-of-things-vs-types-of-thing
Aug. 12, 2020
I read it again and you're right, it's not wrong to write either, but not for grammatical reasons. To me, "All kinds of crime" => violent crime, white collar crime, terrorism. "All kinds of crimes" => strict liability offences, felonies/serious criminal offences, non-payment of fines, parole violations. The rest of the essay makes a distinction between "minor" and "major" crimes. It's not really obvious what standard of "major-ness" this refers to. The plural would be a stronger point because the categories reflect different levels of (a) procedural and evidential burdens that stand in he way of prison sentences and (b) the unjust ways the existence of those kinds of crimes affects the people caught in their trap.
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Prisons This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Prison is the best punishment for criminals. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
Incarceration may be the more suitable word to use here. Incarceration is being confined in prison. |
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Discuss. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Today, prison is the main instrument for punishing criminals. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Today, Today, prison is the main |
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In my opinion, the role of prison in the punishment system should be minimized to a place for people who committed a serious crime. In my opinion, the role of prison in the p You could also say "have committed." Either the simple present or present perfect is needed because we are describing a present state. I would also rephrase the second half to "should be minimized and be a place for people who commit serious crimes," but I think it's not unacceptable as is. In my opinion, the role of prisons in the p Your original sentence was fine, this is just a suggetstion on how to word it more formally. |
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In this essay I will discuss the main points for shrinking the role of prison in modern society. This sentence has been marked as perfect! In this essay I will discuss the main I Generally speaking it is good to avoid the phrase "in this essay". In this essay I will discuss the main |
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The first point is that prisons are economically inefficient. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the government are forced to build new ones to fill the growing needs. What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity, prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the government are forced to build new ones to fill the growing needs. What I mean by this is that with the increase of criminal activity, prisons quickly become overcrowded, and the government W I have corrected to make it a more assertive, professional statement. W I deleted "what I mean by this" because the sentence flows smoothly without that beginning. |
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As a result, this leads to the budget spending, which I think is not the best option for allocating tax payers’ money. As a result, this leads to the budget spending, which I think is not the best option for allocating tax "Budget spending" doesn't sound right to me. I suppose you could write "deficit spending," but that has a specific meaning (spending more than incoming revenue) that may not be applicable here. Alternatively, I would just write "this leads to an increased government budget." As a result, this leads to As a result, this leads to Edits made the piece more assertive, as typically seen in an essay.
The previous sentence implies that the government is sending money, so you don't have to repeat that here. |
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Another noticeable point is that the prison is not suitable for all kinds of crimes. Another noticeable point is that the prison is not suitable for all kinds of crime I would prefer "all types," "all sorts," or "every kind." It seems more precise that way. My problem with it is that “all kinds of X” is often used as an idiom to refer to variety and number but often will not encompass the whole group: https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/all+kinds+of Another Another Another not |
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That is to say, prison is a cruel punishment for minor offenses such as shoplifting. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect!
Again, making the point more assertive. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In many cases, people who committed that kind of crimes can become habitual criminals after leaving the prison. This sentence has been marked as perfect! In many cases, people who commit In many cases, people who committed th In many cases, people who committed that kind of crime |
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Therefore, I think the sentences for that kind of crimes should be changed for a lighter punishment such a community service. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Therefore, I think th Therefore, Therefore, I think th |
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Let’s turn to the opposite side of the argument. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! Let’s |
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Many people believe that the prison is the only way to punish criminals. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Many people believe that Many people believe that the This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is reasonable that there is no place in society for the criminals who committed a serious crime, and it is clear that serious crimes such as murder or rape deserve a prison sentence. This sentence has been marked as perfect! It is reasonable that there is no place in society for It is reasonable to say that there is no place in society for It is reasonable to argue that there is no place in society for the criminals who committed |
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However, I still insist that the minor offenses should be treated differently. This sentence has been marked as perfect! However, I still insist that However, I still insist that However, I still |
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In conclusion, prison is one of the institutions that should serve the needs of society. |
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If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or turning individuals to the habitual criminals, it becomes a burden for the society. If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or if they turn If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or if they turn If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or if they turn If prisons become overcrowded and drain the budget, or turn |
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Therefore, I believe that the role of prison as a punishment tool should be minimized in future. Therefore, I believe that the role of prison as a way of punishment |
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All in all, prison is one of the institutions that should serve the needs of society. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect!
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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