Sept. 4, 2023
Please Review My IELTS Essay
The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?
Some believe that governments should allocate more funds towards preventive measures for health issues rather than treatment and medication because "prevention is better than cure." I wholeheartedly agree.
Firstly, preventing diseases or detecting them early can result in substantial cost savings for both individuals and the healthcare system as a whole. Consider the United States, where it is estimated that approximately $200 billion is spent annually on healthcare costs associated with obesity alone. If even a modest fraction of that expenditure were allocated to initiatives such as public health campaigns, incentives for physical activity, and subsidies for healthy food, the country could potentially avoid such enormous spending. Therefore, by prioritizing prevention, governments can save a significant amount of public money.
Secondly, prevention is the most effective approach when dealing with certain chronic diseases. For instance, government campaigns aimed at educating people about the dangers of smoking or excessive sun exposure have proven highly effective in reducing rates of lung and skin cancer. Similarly, when it comes to countering infectious diseases, preventive measures play a major role. Prevention is also the optimal approach to combat infectious diseases. Imagine a scenario where governments worldwide had not implemented social distancing, mask mandates, travel restrictions, lockdowns, stay-at-home orders, testing and contact tracing, vaccination campaigns, and various other proactive steps. Even with effective medications that can treat the disease, the COVID-19 pandemic would likely have remained in the alarming stages.
In conclusion, government funding should prioritize preventing health issues over curing them because such an approach better ensures the well-being of citizens and can make substantial savings in public funds.
Please Review My IELTS Essay
The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine.
Government funding should reflect this.
To what extent do you agree?
Some believe that governments should allocate more funds towards preventive measures for health issues rather than treatment and medication because "prevention is better than cure."
I wholeheartedly agree.
Firstly, preventing diseases or detecting them early can result in substantial cost savings for both individuals and the healthcare system as a whole.
Consider the United States, where it is estimated that approximately $200 billion is spent annually on healthcare costs associated with obesity alone.
If even a modest fraction of that expenditure were allocated to initiatives such as public health campaigns, incentives for physical activity, and subsidies for healthy food, the country could potentially avoid such enormous spending.
Therefore, by prioritizing prevention, governments can save a significant amount of public money.
Secondly, prevention is the most effective approach when dealing with certain chronic diseases.
For instance, government campaigns aimed at educating people about the dangers of smoking or excessive sun exposure have proven highly effective in reducing rates of lung and skin cancer.
Similarly, when it comes to countering infectious diseases, preventive measures play a major role.
Prevention is also the optimal approach to combat infectious diseases.
This sentence and the previous one are both perfect. However, you could combine them to make it flow better. "Similarly, when it comes to countering infectious diseases, preventive measures are also the optimal approach to combat infectious diseases." A very small thing for clarity, but the way you have it now is good too.
Imagine a scenario where governments worldwide had not implemented social distancing, mask mandates, travel restrictions, lockdowns, stay-at-home orders, testing and contact tracing, vaccination campaigns, and various other proactive steps.
In conclusion, government funding should prioritize preventing health issues over curing them because such an approach better ensures the well-being of citizens and can make substantial savings in public funds.
Feedback
This is very well written!
Sept. 5, 2023
Thank you very much.
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Please Review My IELTS Essay This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Government funding should reflect this. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
To what extent do you agree? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Some believe that governments should allocate more funds towards preventive measures for health issues rather than treatment and medication because "prevention is better than cure." This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I wholeheartedly agree. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Firstly, preventing diseases or detecting them early can result in substantial cost savings for both individuals and the healthcare system as a whole. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Consider the United States, where it is estimated that approximately $200 billion is spent annually on healthcare costs associated with obesity alone. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
If even a modest fraction of that expenditure were allocated to initiatives such as public health campaigns, incentives for physical activity, and subsidies for healthy food, the country could potentially avoid such enormous spending. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Therefore, by prioritizing prevention, governments can save a significant amount of public money. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Secondly, prevention is the most effective approach when dealing with certain chronic diseases. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
For instance, government campaigns aimed at educating people about the dangers of smoking or excessive sun exposure have proven highly effective in reducing rates of lung and skin cancer. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Similarly, when it comes to countering infectious diseases, preventive measures play a major role. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Prevention is also the optimal approach to combat infectious diseases. Prevention is also the optimal approach to combat infectious diseases. This sentence and the previous one are both perfect. However, you could combine them to make it flow better. "Similarly, when it comes to countering infectious diseases, preventive measures are also the optimal approach to combat infectious diseases." A very small thing for clarity, but the way you have it now is good too. |
|
Imagine a scenario where governments worldwide had not implemented social distancing, mask mandates, travel restrictions, lockdowns, stay-at-home orders, testing and contact tracing, vaccination campaigns, and various other proactive steps. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Even with effective medications that can treat the disease, the COVID-19 pandemic would likely have remained in the alarming stages. |
|
In conclusion, government funding should prioritize preventing health issues over curing them because such an approach better ensures the well-being of citizens and can make substantial savings in public funds. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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