Oct. 4, 2022
Please review my IELTS essay
In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some top executives are being paid wages that amount to up to 200 times that of the average worker. Some people show positive attitudes towards this disparity, whereas others argue that governments should introduce a maximum wage, and I agree with them.
On the one hand, there is one main reason why some top managers make exorbitant amounts of money is considered beneficial for the nation. In particular, CEO pay usually commensurates with company’s stock-related and financial performance. In other words, if a company reaches a certain financial target, or its stock value increases, then the wage of its CEOs will increase in tandem. So organizations that can reward their supervisors with extremely high pay are often exceptionally successful too. These prosperous companies in turn might raise their workers’ pay packages or want to expand and need more employees. This creates a large number of employment positions, thus benefiting the country’s economy.
On the other hand, setting a wage ceiling has its own benefits. First, it can reduce financial waste. Millionaire executives often spend their money on luxurious products. However, the luxury industry is typically owned by the rich, and it offers little to the general public and the whole country’s economy. For example, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos spent $5.5 billion to be in space for roughly four minutes, an expenditure that can provide millions of people with Medicaid. Second, high wage inequality causes workers to feel agitated and unjust, so they might strike. This causes financial losses, social disruption and even an increased crime rate. Therefore, it is essential to set a maximum wage.
In conclusion, although companies with seriously high-paid executives can offer more job opportunities, salaries should be capped at a certain level to prevent wasteful spending and socio-economic instability.
Some top executives are being paid wages that amount to up to 200 times that of the average worker.
On the one hand, there is one main reason why some top managers make exorbitant amounts of money is because it is considered to be beneficial for the nation.
In particular, CEOthe pay/salary of CEOs usually commensurates with their company’s stock-related and financial performance.
These prosperous companies in turn might raise their workers’ pay packages or want to expand and therefore need more employees.
Firstly, it can reduce financial waste.
For example, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos spent $5.5 billion to be in space for roughly four minutes, an expenditure that canould’ve provided millions of people with Mmedical aid.
I’m not sure if Medicaid is a name, if it is, ignore my correction. :)
Secondly, high wage inequality causes workers to feel agitated and unjust, so they might go on strike.
In conclusion, although companies with (seriously) high-paid executives can offer more job opportunities, salaries should be capped at a certain level to prevent wasteful spending and socio-economic instability.
I don’t think “seriously” is needed here.
Feedback
Well done, this is really well written! <3
Oct. 5, 2022
I really appreciate your kindness.
Please review my IELTS essay
In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries.
Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some top executives are being paid wages that amount to up to 200 times than that of the average worker.
"Than" makes the comparison clearer.
Some people show positive attitudes towards this disparity, whereas others argue that governments should introduce a maximum wage, and I agree with them.
On the one hand, tThere is one main reason why some top managers makeing exorbitant amounts of money is considered beneficial for the nation.
"On one hand" is usually used when you're comparing things, so it doesn't really fit here. I also took out "some" because your sentence refers to all top managers.
In particular, CEOthe pay of CEO's usually commensurates with their company’s stock-related and financial performance.
For clarity
In other words, if a company reaches a certain financial target, or its stock value increases, then the wage of its CEOs will increase in tandem.
So organizations that can reward their supervisors with extremely high pay are often exceptionally successful too.
These prosperous companies in turn might raise their workers’ pay packages or want to expand and need more employees.
This creates a large number of employment positions, thus benefiting the country’s economy.
On the other hand, setting a wage ceiling has its own benefits.
First, it can reduce financial waste.
Millionaire executives often spend their money on luxurious products.
However, the luxury industry is typically owned by the rich, and it offers little to the general public and the whole country’s economy.
For example, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos spent $5.5 billion to be in space for roughly four minutes, an expenditure that can provide millions of people with Medicaid.
Second, high wage inequality causes workers to feel agitated and unjust, so they might go on strike.
This causes financial losses, social disruption and even an increased crime rate.
Therefore, it is essential to set a maximum wage.
In conclusion, although companies with seriously high-paid executives can offer more job opportunities, salaries should be capped at a certain level to prevent wasteful spending and socio-economic instability.
The use of "seriously" in this case sounds informal, so it doesn't seem right for this essay
Oct. 4, 2022
Thank you in a million. I really appreciate your kindness.
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Please review my IELTS essay This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Some top executives are being paid wages that amount to up to 200 times that of the average worker. Some top executives are being paid wages that amount to up to 200 times than that of the average worker. "Than" makes the comparison clearer. Some top executives are being paid wages that amount |
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Some people show positive attitudes towards this disparity, whereas others argue that governments should introduce a maximum wage, and I agree with them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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On the one hand, there is one main reason why some top managers make exorbitant amounts of money is considered beneficial for the nation.
"On one hand" is usually used when you're comparing things, so it doesn't really fit here. I also took out "some" because your sentence refers to all top managers. On the one hand, the |
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In particular, CEO pay usually commensurates with company’s stock-related and financial performance. In particular, For clarity In particular, |
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In other words, if a company reaches a certain financial target, or its stock value increases, then the wage of its CEOs will increase in tandem. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So organizations that can reward their supervisors with extremely high pay are often exceptionally successful too. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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These prosperous companies in turn might raise their workers’ pay packages or want to expand and need more employees. This sentence has been marked as perfect! These prosperous companies in turn might raise their workers’ pay packages or want to expand and therefore need more employees. |
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This creates a large number of employment positions, thus benefiting the country’s economy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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On the other hand, setting a wage ceiling has its own benefits. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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First, it can reduce financial waste. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Firstly, it can reduce financial waste. |
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Millionaire executives often spend their money on luxurious products. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, the luxury industry is typically owned by the rich, and it offers little to the general public and the whole country’s economy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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For example, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos spent $5.5 billion to be in space for roughly four minutes, an expenditure that can provide millions of people with Medicaid. This sentence has been marked as perfect! For example, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos spent $5.5 billion to be in space for roughly four minutes, an expenditure that c I’m not sure if Medicaid is a name, if it is, ignore my correction. :) |
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Second, high wage inequality causes workers to feel agitated and unjust, so they might strike. Second, high wage inequality causes workers to feel agitated and unjust, so they might go on strike. Secondly, high wage inequality causes workers to feel agitated and unjust, so they might go on strike. |
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This causes financial losses, social disruption and even an increased crime rate. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Therefore, it is essential to set a maximum wage. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In conclusion, although companies with seriously high-paid executives can offer more job opportunities, salaries should be capped at a certain level to prevent wasteful spending and socio-economic instability. In conclusion, although companies with The use of "seriously" in this case sounds informal, so it doesn't seem right for this essay In conclusion, although companies with (seriously) high-paid executives can offer more job opportunities, salaries should be capped at a certain level to prevent wasteful spending and socio-economic instability. I don’t think “seriously” is needed here. |
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