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maymaymay_

Oct. 8, 2023

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Please Review My Essay

https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseEvaluateIeltsWritingTask-1/bqwxdh/post.htm
That is the link of the image for the graph.



My essay:

The compared illustration delineates the number of five different types of vehicles represented in Australia in three years 2010, 2012, and 2014.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there was no correlation between the types of vehicles using in Australia. While the passenger vehicles held the first position, the opposite was true for Light trucks. However, Motorcycles witnessed a substantial increase of 30,7% over the period.



In terms of Passenger Vehicles and Commercial Vehicles grew moderately of approximately 18% from 2010 to 2014. In 2010, 11 million passenger vehicles were registered, whereas the figure for Commercial ones were subsequently lower representing 2,3 million. With respect to Motorcycles, Heavy Trucks and Light Trucks, the greatest upward trend was recorded for Motorcycles which increased of 175 000 people between 2010 and 2014 in comparison with roughly 50 000 using heavy trucks, a rise of around 28%. During the same period, there was not a considerable rise in the number of heavy trucks registered, representing 384000 people in 2010 and registering 423000 people in 2014, a growth of 10.2%.

Corrections

Please Review My Essay

https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseEvaluateIeltsWritingTask-1/bqwxdh/post.htm That is the link of the image for the graph.

My essay:


The compared illustration
delineates the number ofcompares five different types of vehicles representused in Australia in three years - 2010, 2012, and 2014.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there was no correlation between the types of vehicles usinged in Australia.

While the pPassenger vehicles held the first position, the opposite was true for Light trucks.

However, Motorcycles witnessed a substantial increase of 30,.7% over the period.

In terms of Passenger Vehicles and Commercial Vehicles it grew moderately ofby approximately 18% from 2010 to 2014.

In 2010, 11 million pPassenger vVehicles were registered, whereas the figure for Commercial ones were subsequently lower representing 2,.3 million.

With respect to Motorcycles, Heavy Trucks and Light Trucks, the greatest upward trend was recorded for Motorcycles which increased ofby 175 000 people between 2010 and 2014, which represented a rise of around 28%, in comparison with roughly 50 000 using heavy trucks, a rise of around 28%.

During the same period, there was not a considerablesignificant rise in the number of heavy trucks registered, representing 384 000 people in 2010 and registering 423 000 people in 2014, a growth of 10.2%.

For consistency, you should use the same format right through your essay for Passenger Vehicle (capital letters) or passenger vehicle (simple letters)

Please Review My Essay


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseEvaluateIeltsWritingTask-1/bqwxdh/post.htm That is the link of the image for the graph.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My essay: The compared illustration delineates the number of five different types of vehicles represented in Australia in three years 2010, 2012, and 2014.


My essay:


The compared illustration
delineates the number ofcompares five different types of vehicles representused in Australia in three years - 2010, 2012, and 2014.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there was no correlation between the types of vehicles using in Australia.


Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there was no correlation between the types of vehicles usinged in Australia.

While the passenger vehicles held the first position, the opposite was true for Light trucks.


While the pPassenger vehicles held the first position, the opposite was true for Light trucks.

However, Motorcycles witnessed a substantial increase of 30,7% over the period.


However, Motorcycles witnessed a substantial increase of 30,.7% over the period.

In terms of Passenger Vehicles and Commercial Vehicles grew moderately of approximately 18% from 2010 to 2014.


In terms of Passenger Vehicles and Commercial Vehicles it grew moderately ofby approximately 18% from 2010 to 2014.

In 2010, 11 million passenger vehicles were registered, whereas the figure for Commercial ones were subsequently lower representing 2,3 million.


In 2010, 11 million pPassenger vVehicles were registered, whereas the figure for Commercial ones were subsequently lower representing 2,.3 million.

With respect to Motorcycles, Heavy Trucks and Light Trucks, the greatest upward trend was recorded for Motorcycles which increased of 175 000 people between 2010 and 2014 in comparison with roughly 50 000 using heavy trucks, a rise of around 28%.


With respect to Motorcycles, Heavy Trucks and Light Trucks, the greatest upward trend was recorded for Motorcycles which increased ofby 175 000 people between 2010 and 2014, which represented a rise of around 28%, in comparison with roughly 50 000 using heavy trucks, a rise of around 28%.

During the same period, there was not a considerable rise in the number of heavy trucks registered, representing 384000 people in 2010 and registering 423000 people in 2014, a growth of 10.2%.


During the same period, there was not a considerablesignificant rise in the number of heavy trucks registered, representing 384 000 people in 2010 and registering 423 000 people in 2014, a growth of 10.2%.

For consistency, you should use the same format right through your essay for Passenger Vehicle (capital letters) or passenger vehicle (simple letters)

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