May 17, 2023
Topic:
Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
My answer:
Some parents advocate for their children to devote their free time to learning-oriented activities, while others, including me, argue that it can put undue pressure on them.
On the one hand, engaging in educational activities during free time can benefit children in many ways. First, they can provide extra practice and opportunities for children to apply what they have learned in class to real-life situations, improving their comprehension and retention. This can result in increased academic performance. For instance, conducting experiments with objects of different densities in water enable children to grasp and internalize the principles of buoyancy. Second, certain educational activities can allow children to acquire additional knowledge and skills relevant to their future careers. This can include classes for computer skills, learning new languages, or developing analytical and research abilities. These skills, coupled with strong academic performance, can boost their future career prospects.
On the other hand, it can actually be counterproductive, and taking part in leisure activities instead can have several benefits. Children already have a significant academic workload and pressure from school, and adding more to this burden can overload, exhaust, and demotivate them, negatively impacting their academic outcomes. Conversely, participating in leisure activities allow them to take a break from the demands of academics and recharge. This can reduce their stress levels and better prepare them for the next class. They can also offer an unstructured and non-competitive environment for children to build positive relationships with their friends, which are essential for their social and emotional development. Moreover, engaging in recreational activities like playing outdoor games, swimming, or cycling can improve children's physical fitness and reduce the risk of obesity and related health issues.
In conclusion, spending free time on academic activities can allow children to better comprehend and retain their subject matter, and to acquire valuable professional skills. However, it can also result in burnout and demotivation. Instead, participating in recreational activities can rejuvenate the mind and contribute to their social, emotional, and physical well-being.
pPlease rReview mMy eEssay
Topic:
Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time.
Others say that in this way children are under pressureputs pressure on children.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
My answer:
Some parents advocate for their children to devote their free time to learning-oriented activities, while others, including me, argue that it can put undue pressure on them.
On the one hand, engaging in educational activities during free time can benefit children in many ways.
First, they can provide extra practice and opportunities for children to apply what they have learned in class to real-life situations, improving their comprehension and retention.
This can result in increased academic performance.
For instance, conducting experiments with objects of different densities in water enablehelp children to grasp and internalize the principles of buoyancy.
Second, certain educational activities can allow children to acquire additional knowledge and skills relevant to their future careers.
This can include classes for computer skills, learning new languages, or developing analytical and research abilities.
These skills, coupled with strong academic performance, can boost their future career prospects.
On the other hand, it can actually be counterproductive, and taking part in leisure activities instead can have several benefits.
Children already have a significant academic workload and pressure from school, and adding more to this burden can overload, exhaust, and demotivate them, negatively impacting their academic outcomes.
Conversely, participating in leisure activities allows them to take a break from the demands of academics and to recharge.
This can reduce their stress levels and better prepare them for the next class.
They can also offer an unstructured and non-competitive environment for children to build positive relationships with their friends, which are essential for their social and emotional development.
Moreover, engaging in recreational activities like playing outdoor games, swimming, or cycling can improve children's physical fitness and reduce the risk of obesity and related health issues.
In conclusion, spending free time on academic activities can allow children to better comprehend and retain their subject matter, and tos well as acquire valuable professional skills.
HoweverUnfortunately, it can also result in burnout and demotivation.
Instead, participating in recreational activities can rejuvenate the mind and contribute to their social, emotional, and physical well-being.
Feedback
Very nice work!
Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time.
Others say that in this way children are under pressure.
It's okay as it is, but I might say it like "Others say that this puts children under pressure."
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some parents advocate for their children to devote their free time to learning-oriented activities, while others, including me, argue that it can put undue pressure on them.
On the one hand, engaging in educational activities during free time can benefit children in many ways.
First, they can provide extra practice and opportunities for children to apply what they have learned in class to real-life situations, improving their comprehension and retention.
This can result in increased academic performance.
For instance, conducting experiments with objects of different densities in water enables children to grasp and internalize the principles of buoyancy.
Second, certain educational activities can allow children to acquire additional knowledge and skills relevant to their future careers.
This can include classes for computer skills, learning new languages, or developing analytical and research abilities.
These skills, coupled with strong academic performance, can boost their future career prospects.
On the other hand, it can actually be counterproductive, and taking part in leisure activities instead can have several benefits.
Children already have a significant academic workload and pressure from school, and adding more to this burden can overload, exhaust, and demotivate them, negatively impacting their academic outcomes.
Conversely, participating in leisure activities allows them to take a break from the demands of academics life and recharge.
This can reduce their stress levels and better prepare them for the next class.
They can also offer an unstructured and non-competitive environment for children to build positive relationships with their friends, which are essential for their social and emotional development.
Moreover, engaging in recreational activities like playing outdoor games, swimming, or cycling can improve children's physical fitness and reduce the risk of obesity and related health issues.
In conclusion, spending free time on academic activities can allow children to better comprehend and retain their subject matter, and to acquire valuable professional skills.
No comma is needed when you have the conjunction with two items. When you have 3 or more items in a series you use the comma like "item 1, item 2, and item 3". Also the "to" before "acquire" is optional. I would probably leave it myself, but both ways would be correct.
However, it can also result in burnout and demotivation.
Instead, participating in recreational activities can rejuvenate the mind and contribute to their social, emotional, and physical well-being.
It's been awhile since you used the subject of this pronoun "their", as you've been taking about "engaging in activities" etc., so it would be better to remind your reader about what/whom you're talking.
Feedback
Well done! :)
please review my essay
|
Topic: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. It's okay as it is, but I might say it like "Others say that this puts children under pressure." Others say that |
Discuss both views and give your opinion. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
My answer: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Some parents advocate for their children to devote their free time to learning-oriented activities, while others, including me, argue that it can put undue pressure on them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
On the one hand, engaging in educational activities during free time can benefit children in many ways. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
First, they can provide extra practice and opportunities for children to apply what they have learned in class to real-life situations, improving their comprehension and retention. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
This can result in increased academic performance. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
For instance, conducting experiments with objects of different densities in water enable children to grasp and internalize the principles of buoyancy. For instance, conducting experiments with objects of different densities in water enables children to grasp and internalize the principles of buoyancy. For instance, conducting experiments with objects of different densities in water |
Second, certain educational activities can allow children to acquire additional knowledge and skills relevant to their future careers. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
This can include classes for computer skills, learning new languages, or developing analytical and research abilities. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
These skills, coupled with strong academic performance, can boost their future career prospects. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
On the other hand, it can actually be counterproductive, and taking part in leisure activities instead can have several benefits. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Children already have a significant academic workload and pressure from school, and adding more to this burden can overload, exhaust, and demotivate them, negatively impacting their academic outcomes. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Conversely, participating in leisure activities allow them to take a break from the demands of academics and recharge. Conversely, participating in leisure activities allows them to take a break from the demands of academic Conversely, participating in leisure activities allows them to take a break from the demands of academics and to recharge. |
This can reduce their stress levels and better prepare them for the next class. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
They can also offer an unstructured and non-competitive environment for children to build positive relationships with their friends, which are essential for their social and emotional development. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Moreover, engaging in recreational activities like playing outdoor games, swimming, or cycling can improve children's physical fitness and reduce the risk of obesity and related health issues. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
In conclusion, spending free time on academic activities can allow children to better comprehend and retain their subject matter, and to acquire valuable professional skills. In conclusion, spending free time on academic activities can allow children to better comprehend and retain their subject matter No comma is needed when you have the conjunction with two items. When you have 3 or more items in a series you use the comma like "item 1, item 2, and item 3". Also the "to" before "acquire" is optional. I would probably leave it myself, but both ways would be correct. In conclusion, spending free time on academic activities can allow children to better comprehend and retain their subject matter |
However, it can also result in burnout and demotivation. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
|
Instead, participating in recreational activities can rejuvenate the mind and contribute to their social, emotional, and physical well-being. Instead, participating in recreational activities can rejuvenate the mind and contribute to their social, emotional, and physical well-being. It's been awhile since you used the subject of this pronoun "their", as you've been taking about "engaging in activities" etc., so it would be better to remind your reader about what/whom you're talking. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium