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lethanhhang

Nov. 21, 2022

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please review my essay.

12. Describe an important event you celebrated
You should say:
What the event was
When it happened
Who attended the event
And explain how you feel about the event


I would like to talk about my younger sister’s wedding which happened probably five months ago. She met her husband through a dating app called Tinder and remained in a long-distance relationship for half a year with only a few occasions of hanging out. My parents, brother and I have never met or even talked to him, so when my sister announced that she was going to get married the next month, we were so shocked that we were at a loss for words. But it was what she wished for, so we hastily prepared the wedding and invited our relatives with haste.

Due to the lack of time, we hired a company that organized the ceremony from A to Z. My sister loves pink, so the house was decorated mainly in this color. the walls, floor, table, and chairs were covered with white, red, and pink cloth and ornaments. There were also many vases with pink roses located around the house. Although I don’t like pink, I have to admit the decoration looked pretty cute.


The wedding took place in only one day with four main ceremonies. The first was the betrothal ceremony, in which my brother-in-law’s parents led a procession to our house to ask for my sister’s hand in marriage. As I was one of the bridesmaids, I had to wake up early in the morning and spent one hour to have my hair and makeup done. The bridesmaids all wore a yellow Ao Dai with a large fabric flower on the shoulder. However, I looked terrible in it. As for my sister, she wore a red bridal Ao Dai with golden lace. She looked stunning in that dress, but her heavy makeup made her look five years older.


I remember that the groom’s family came exactly after I just had my makeup done, so I rushed out, with other bridesmaids, to line up in front of the gate and receive the massive wedding cake, and the large red lacquer boxes filled with betel leaves, areca nuts and husband and wife cake carried by the groomsmen and placed them in the ancestral altar. After this, my parents placed my sister’s hand on her husband’s hand. All these practices symbolize that my parents accepted the gifts and therefore allowed the groom to take my sister home.

After that was the tea ceremony. My sister and her husband, along with both parents, prayed and bowed in front of the altar to wish for the ancestors’ blessing. Then the representative members of the two families gave gifts, such as gold rings and necklaces, to the newlywed and helped to put them on my sister. We all laughed at the scene of my sister wearing around 20 rings and 10 necklaces as they were so heavy that my sister had trouble moving her fingers and neck freely. Then my sister and her husband served tea to the two families and received advice about marriage and family from the elder members.

After this, we all head to my brother-in-law’s house by car. However, I was so carsick that after reaching his house, I had to find a place to lie down. Therefore, I missed the next event, which was another tea ceremony. I was only able to get better at the start of the banquet party, which took place in an underdeveloped land 2 meters away from the house. My sister changed into another dress for the party – a typical white bridal gown – and stood in front of the gate to welcome the guest and receive their wedding money along with her husband and both parents. What’s funny is that to prevent the money from being stolen, my younger brother put it into his basket and never let it out of his sight during the whole party. There were about a hundred guests, so it was really noisy, and the heat from the crow made me dripping with sweat, making it hard for me to enjoy my favorite dish, the seafood hotpot. I believe that this had to be worse for my sister due to her massive gown with hundreds of layers.

After the party, she and her husband, along with his parents, stood in front of the gate to say thank you to all the guests. When it was time for my family to say goodbye, my sister broke down in tears, and so did my mother. Even though I am not an emotional person, I dropped some tears too. However, my sadness quickly faded away as I saw the mascara running all over her eyes and face. It was kind of a hilarious scene to look at.

To me, the whole wedding was so tiring and filled with a whole gamut of emotions. I never thought that my sister would get married so soon, but I can tell that my brother-in-law really cherishes my sister, and so do his parents. So I feel happy for her.

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slypkc's avatar
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I would like to talk about my younger sister’s wedding which happened probablyabout five months ago.

After this, we all headdrove to my brother-in-law’s house by car.

ashlynn1257's avatar
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I would like to talk about my younger sister’s wedding which happened probably five months ago.

She met her husband through a dating app called Tinder and remained in a long-distance relationship for half a year with only a few occasions of hanging out.

My parents, my brother and I haved never met or even talked to him, so. So, when my sister announced that she was going to get married the next month, we were so shocked that we were at a loss for words.

But ithat was what she wished for, so we hastily prepared the wedding and invited our relatives with haste.

You can use hastily or with haste but not both in the same sentence. It is inferred that both actions are done with haste.

tThe walls, floor, table, and chairs were covered within white, red, and pink cloth and ornaments.

Although I doidn’t like pink, I haved to admit that the decorations did looked pretty cute.

'did look' sounds more natural when contrasting a negative preference with a positive outlook.

The wedding took place in only one day with four main ceremonies.

Could also say 'in a single day'.

AsSince I was one of the bridesmaids, I had to wake up early in the morning and spent one hour to havehaving my hair and makeup done.

'As I' could be correct but I corrected it to 'since' because you are talking about your own account of doing your hair and makeup (you doing it in one hour specifically.)

TheAnd us bridesmaids all wore a yellow Ao Dai with a large fabric flower on the shoulder.

I edited it to us bridesmaids to include yourself. You could also say, 'And all of us bridesmaids'

However, I looked terrible in it.

Could also just say, 'I looked terrible in it.' to make it to the point.

I remembered that the groom’s family came exactly after I had just hadgotten my makeup done, so I rushed out, with the other bridesmaids, to line up in front of the gate and receive the massive wedding cake, andlong with the large red lacquer boxes filled with betel leaves, areca nuts and husband and wife cake carried by the groomsmen and placed them in the ancestral altar.

And after that was the tea ceremony.

Then the representative members of the two families gave gifts, such as gold rings and necklaces, to the newlyweds and helped to put them on my sister.

My sister changed into another dress for the party –, a typical white bridal gown –, and stood in front of the gate to welcome the guests and receive their wedding money along with her husband and both of their parents.

There were about a hundred guests, so it was really noisy, and the heat from the crow md hade me dripping with sweat, making it hard for me to enjoy my favorite dish, the seafood hotpot.

I believed that ithis had to behave been worse for my sister due to her massive gown with hundreds of layers.

Even though I am not an emotional person, I droppshedded some tears too.

I would have never thought that my sister would get married so soon, but I canould tell that my brother-in-law really cherishes my sister, and so doid his parents.

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lethanhhang's avatar
lethanhhang

Nov. 22, 2022

0

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind and detailed review.

please review my essay.

12.

Describe an important event you celebrated

You should say:

What the event was

When it happened

Who attended the event

And explain how you feel about the event

I would like to talk about my younger sister’s wedding which happened probably five months ago.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I would like to talk about my younger sister’s wedding which happened probablyabout five months ago.

She met her husband through a dating app called Tinder and remained in a long-distance relationship for half a year with only a few occasions of hanging out.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My parents, brother and I have never met or even talked to him, so when my sister announced that she was going to get married the next month, we were so shocked that we were at a loss for words.

My parents, my brother and I haved never met or even talked to him, so. So, when my sister announced that she was going to get married the next month, we were so shocked that we were at a loss for words.

But it was what she wished for, so we hastily prepared the wedding and invited our relatives with haste.

But ithat was what she wished for, so we hastily prepared the wedding and invited our relatives with haste.

You can use hastily or with haste but not both in the same sentence. It is inferred that both actions are done with haste.

Due to the lack of time, we hired a company that organized the ceremony from A to Z.

My sister loves pink, so the house was decorated mainly in this color.

the walls, floor, table, and chairs were covered with white, red, and pink cloth and ornaments.

tThe walls, floor, table, and chairs were covered within white, red, and pink cloth and ornaments.

There were also many vases with pink roses located around the house.

Although I don’t like pink, I have to admit the decoration looked pretty cute.

Although I doidn’t like pink, I haved to admit that the decorations did looked pretty cute.

'did look' sounds more natural when contrasting a negative preference with a positive outlook.

The wedding took place in only one day with four main ceremonies.

The wedding took place in only one day with four main ceremonies.

Could also say 'in a single day'.

The first was the betrothal ceremony, in which my brother-in-law’s parents led a procession to our house to ask for my sister’s hand in marriage.

As I was one of the bridesmaids, I had to wake up early in the morning and spent one hour to have my hair and makeup done.

AsSince I was one of the bridesmaids, I had to wake up early in the morning and spent one hour to havehaving my hair and makeup done.

'As I' could be correct but I corrected it to 'since' because you are talking about your own account of doing your hair and makeup (you doing it in one hour specifically.)

The bridesmaids all wore a yellow Ao Dai with a large fabric flower on the shoulder.

TheAnd us bridesmaids all wore a yellow Ao Dai with a large fabric flower on the shoulder.

I edited it to us bridesmaids to include yourself. You could also say, 'And all of us bridesmaids'

However, I looked terrible in it.

However, I looked terrible in it.

Could also just say, 'I looked terrible in it.' to make it to the point.

As for my sister, she wore a red bridal Ao Dai with golden lace.

She looked stunning in that dress, but her heavy makeup made her look five years older.

I remember that the groom’s family came exactly after I just had my makeup done, so I rushed out, with other bridesmaids, to line up in front of the gate and receive the massive wedding cake, and the large red lacquer boxes filled with betel leaves, areca nuts and husband and wife cake carried by the groomsmen and placed them in the ancestral altar.

I remembered that the groom’s family came exactly after I had just hadgotten my makeup done, so I rushed out, with the other bridesmaids, to line up in front of the gate and receive the massive wedding cake, andlong with the large red lacquer boxes filled with betel leaves, areca nuts and husband and wife cake carried by the groomsmen and placed them in the ancestral altar.

After this, my parents placed my sister’s hand on her husband’s hand.

All these practices symbolize that my parents accepted the gifts and therefore allowed the groom to take my sister home.

After that was the tea ceremony.

And after that was the tea ceremony.

My sister and her husband, along with both parents, prayed and bowed in front of the altar to wish for the ancestors’ blessing.

Then the representative members of the two families gave gifts, such as gold rings and necklaces, to the newlywed and helped to put them on my sister.

Then the representative members of the two families gave gifts, such as gold rings and necklaces, to the newlyweds and helped to put them on my sister.

We all laughed at the scene of my sister wearing around 20 rings and 10 necklaces as they were so heavy that my sister had trouble moving her fingers and neck freely.

Then my sister and her husband served tea to the two families and received advice about marriage and family from the elder members.

After this, we all head to my brother-in-law’s house by car.

After this, we all headdrove to my brother-in-law’s house by car.

However, I was so carsick that after reaching his house, I had to find a place to lie down.

Therefore, I missed the next event, which was another tea ceremony.

I was only able to get better at the start of the banquet party, which took place in an underdeveloped land 2 meters away from the house.

My sister changed into another dress for the party – a typical white bridal gown – and stood in front of the gate to welcome the guest and receive their wedding money along with her husband and both parents.

My sister changed into another dress for the party –, a typical white bridal gown –, and stood in front of the gate to welcome the guests and receive their wedding money along with her husband and both of their parents.

What’s funny is that to prevent the money from being stolen, my younger brother put it into his basket and never let it out of his sight during the whole party.

There were about a hundred guests, so it was really noisy, and the heat from the crow made me dripping with sweat, making it hard for me to enjoy my favorite dish, the seafood hotpot.

There were about a hundred guests, so it was really noisy, and the heat from the crow md hade me dripping with sweat, making it hard for me to enjoy my favorite dish, the seafood hotpot.

I believe that this had to be worse for my sister due to her massive gown with hundreds of layers.

I believed that ithis had to behave been worse for my sister due to her massive gown with hundreds of layers.

After the party, she and her husband, along with his parents, stood in front of the gate to say thank you to all the guests.

When it was time for my family to say goodbye, my sister broke down in tears, and so did my mother.

Even though I am not an emotional person, I dropped some tears too.

Even though I am not an emotional person, I droppshedded some tears too.

However, my sadness quickly faded away as I saw the mascara running all over her eyes and face.

It was kind of a hilarious scene to look at.

To me, the whole wedding was so tiring and filled with a whole gamut of emotions.

I never thought that my sister would get married so soon, but I can tell that my brother-in-law really cherishes my sister, and so do his parents.

I would have never thought that my sister would get married so soon, but I canould tell that my brother-in-law really cherishes my sister, and so doid his parents.

So I feel happy for her.

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