Nov. 10, 2022
Please review my essay.
IELTS Speaking part 2:
1. Describe an interesting neighbor
You should say:
Who he/she is
How you knew him/her
What you do together
And explain why he/she is interesting
My answer:
As I am a boring person with a lack of enthusiasm about anything, I find someone who is the opposite of me – who lives a life of dedication– very fascinating. And Mrs. Quy, who lives in the house opposite mine, is exactly such a person. I don’t know exactly how old she is, but she is very old, probably over 90 years of age. She still looks very healthy and young for her age. Her appearance, soft voice, and her calm manner really reflect her personality. At first look, you can tell that she is soft-hearted by nature. She is very supportive and always willing to help.
Many people I know believe in Buddhism, and so does Mrs. Quy. However, she is the most passionate devotee that I know. Not only does she praise in a temple on the weekends like most other Buddhism believers, but she also chants scriptures and prayers to Buddha at home every noon and night. I think doing daily prayers helps her to reach inner calm and peace, so her presence and aura are very soothing and calming. I think her smell contributes to her aura too. It is the smell of burning incense, which is usually associated with the temple and spirit. She emits this scent because she burns incense every time she prays, so the aroma permeates her clothes and body.
In Vietnam, we hold certain rituals at home that include Buddhist chant, such as the anniversary of the death, and the full moon day, and we hire a monk for this. However, it is quite costly, so sometimes we ask Mrs. Quy to perform this instead. It is really fascinating to me that while she does not know Sanskrit or Pali, and she only practice Buddhism when she has already reached old age, she was able to learn by heart all the necessary Buddhist chants such as mantra and sutra. I believe this took such a great effort that a lazy person like me cannot even dream of achieving it. Every time I see her in her grey Buddhist robe and chant verses that sound like alien language to me, she looks so divine and sacred. She really devotes her old age to religion, which makes her so different from other seniors that I know.
As I am a boring person with a lack of enthusiasm aboutfor anything, I find someone who is the opposite of me – who lives a life of dedication– very fascinating.
Although this sentence is correct, it is long and the structure is a bit confusing. A suggestion to change it is:
As I am a boring person with a lack of enthusiasm for anything, I am fascinated by people who are the opposite of me – those who live a life of dedication
And Mrs. Quy, who lives in the house opposite mine, is exactly such a person.
You can't begin a sentence with "and" as it is a connector
I don’t know exactly how old she is, but she is very oelderly, probably over 90 years of age.
Just a suggestion to avoid saying "old" twice
Her appearance, soft voice, and her calm manner really reflect her personality.
You already have "her" before appearance, so it doesn't have to be repeated
At first look, you can tell that she is soft-hearted by nature.
She is very supportive and always willing to help.
Many people I know believe in Buddhism, and so does Mrs. Quy.
However, she is the most passionate devotee that I know.
Not only does she praise in athe temple on the weekends like most other Buddhism believerts, but she also chants scriptures and prayers to Buddha at home every noon and night.
Because "noon" specifies a specific time (12:00), it is a little strange to say it here accompanied by night, which is an unspecific time. Better to say "at midday and in the evening" or "in the afternoon and evening" etc
I think doing daily prayers helps her to reach inner calm and peace, so her presence and aura are very soothing and calming.
I think hHer smell also contributes to her aura too.
Avoid beginning two sentences with "I think..."
It is the smell of burning incense, which is usually associated with the temple and spirit.
She emits this scent becauseAs she burns incense every time she prays, so the aroma permeates her clothes and body.
In Vietnam, we hold certain rituals at home that include Buddhist chants/chanting, such as the anniversaryies of the death,s and the full moon day, andfor which we hire a monk for this.
However, it is quite costly, so sometimes we ask Mrs. Quy to perform this instead.
It is really fascinating to me that whileshe was able to learn by heart all the necessary Buddhist chants such as mantra and sutra, even though she does not know Sanskrit or Pali, and she only began to practice Buddhism when she hasd already reached old age, she was able to learn by heart all the necessary Buddhist chants such as mantra and sutra.
I believe this took such a great effort that a lazy person like me cannot even dream of achieving it.
Every time I see her in her grey Buddhist robe and, chanting verses that sound like alien language to me, she looks so divine and sacred.
She really devotes her old age to religion, which makes her so different from other seniors that I know.
Feedback
I have been quite strict with you as your writing is so impressive. Most of my edits are just to make the writing flow a bit more smoothly. Very well done! Mrs Quy sounds like a very inspirational woman.
Nov. 11, 2022
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really appreciate your kind and detailed review.
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Please review my essay. |
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As I am a boring person with a lack of enthusiasm about anything, I find someone who is the opposite of me – who lives a life of dedication– very fascinating. As I am a boring person with a lack of enthusiasm Although this sentence is correct, it is long and the structure is a bit confusing. A suggestion to change it is: As I am a boring person with a lack of enthusiasm for anything, I am fascinated by people who are the opposite of me – those who live a life of dedication |
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And Mrs. Quy, who lives in the house opposite mine, is exactly such a person.
You can't begin a sentence with "and" as it is a connector |
|
I don’t know exactly how old she is, but she is very old, probably over 90 years of age. I don’t know exactly how old she is, but she is very Just a suggestion to avoid saying "old" twice |
|
She still looks very healthy and young for her age. |
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Her appearance, soft voice, and her calm manner really reflect her personality. Her appearance, soft voice, and You already have "her" before appearance, so it doesn't have to be repeated |
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At first look, you can tell that she is soft-hearted by nature. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She is very supportive and always willing to help. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Many people I know believe in Buddhism, and so does Mrs. Quy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
However, she is the most passionate devotee that I know. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Not only does she praise in a temple on the weekends like most other Buddhism believers, but she also chants scriptures and prayers to Buddha at home every noon and night. Not only does she praise in Because "noon" specifies a specific time (12:00), it is a little strange to say it here accompanied by night, which is an unspecific time. Better to say "at midday and in the evening" or "in the afternoon and evening" etc |
|
I think doing daily prayers helps her to reach inner calm and peace, so her presence and aura are very soothing and calming. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I think her smell contributes to her aura too.
Avoid beginning two sentences with "I think..." |
|
It is the smell of burning incense, which is usually associated with the temple and spirit. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She emits this scent because she burns incense every time she prays, so the aroma permeates her clothes and body.
|
|
In Vietnam, we hold certain rituals at home that include Buddhist chant, such as the anniversary of the death, and the full moon day, and we hire a monk for this. In Vietnam, we hold certain rituals at home that include Buddhist chants/chanting, such as |
|
However, it is quite costly, so sometimes we ask Mrs. Quy to perform this instead. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It is really fascinating to me that while she does not know Sanskrit or Pali, and she only practice Buddhism when she has already reached old age, she was able to learn by heart all the necessary Buddhist chants such as mantra and sutra. It is really fascinating to me that |
|
I believe this took such a great effort that a lazy person like me cannot even dream of achieving it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Every time I see her in her grey Buddhist robe and chant verses that sound like alien language to me, she looks so divine and sacred. Every time I see her in her grey Buddhist robe |
|
She really devotes her old age to religion, which makes her so different from other seniors that I know. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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IELTS Speaking part 2: |
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1. Describe an interesting neighbor |
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You should say: |
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Who he/she is |
|
How you knew him/her |
|
What you do together |
|
And explain why he/she is interesting |
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My answer: |
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