pPlease correct my wriiting.

My essay: ¶
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The fact that average longevity of human increasedife expectancy has increased (in many place/countries) has led to many debates arbound themt the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population.

I would re-word this to say something like: "Advances in medicine and nutrition have increased the average life expectancy in many countries around the world, leading to debates about the pros and cons of an aging population."

While many people consider it as athis trend beneficial trend, some may think oppositebelieve that the costs to society outweigh the potential benefits.

One of the reasons for thatis line of thinking is based on the viewpoint that an oldaging population creates issues for governments.

I would rephrase as follows: "Opponents of an aging population point out the many costs incurred by governments (and perhaps private enterprises and associations) in having to care for the elderly who are now living longer than previous generations."

I approvelso contend that the drawbacks outweigh the positives, and I will supply many analy/costs of an aging populace outweigh the potential benefits and I will make my cases in this essaye following paragraphs.

Later on you say that the advantages outweigh the costs so you need to clarify what your opinion is.

On the first handFirstly, the experience/wisdom that the elderly have gainedpossess is a precious document for referenceguide for younger generations.

I might rephrase as follows: "Firstly, the experience and wisdom that the elderly possess is an incredibly valuable reference point for younger generations."

Some of the best advices or even and solutions can be suggested by them, thus they had experienced enough to teach their children or grandchildrento various problems come from the elderly as they have many life experiences that can be passed on to future generations.

"Advice" is always singular

In fact, there are plenty of successful people asking forwho regularly seek advice from their resignedformer teachers or consul/professors and mentors.

A mentor is a role model or someone you look up to and seek advice from in any area of life (e.g., career, family, health).

On the other hand, we can not deny some troubles they bringof the issues stemming from an increasing elderly population.

I might rephrase as follows: "However, we cannot gloss over (or overlook) the many issues that stem from an increasing elderly population."

Not all old people choose to continue working, and even if they do, the yield would not be so great as juveniles doir output is not as great (or efficient) as younger workers.

I might rephrase as follows: "The majority of elderly people are retired and no longer work; and even those that do continue to work are less productive than their younger counterparts."

Furthermore, the deficit in health canpoor health of the elderly creates challenges for both the ¶
young ones and theand governments alike.

I might rephrase as follows: "Moreover, the elderly tend to have poor health which creates many challenges for both the young and governments who are tasked with taking care for them."

When they are ill, they neethey need to be cared, some elderly housing departures also needed to for (e.g., senior living facilities must be built forto house them).

This is similar to the sentence before it so you may want to consolidate into one. Another idea is to say, "In addition to increased healthcare costs, senior living facilities must be constructed to house the elderly which necessarily diverts resources away from other initiatives that would otherwise increase the wealth of society."

In conclusion, even though the advantages of thean aging population outweigh its disadvantages, we can not deny the devooverlook the contributions they have ever paidmade during their working daylives.

See above - unclear if you are for or against an aging population and this sentence doesn't make sense because you're saying the advantages outweigh the disadvantages then saying we can't deny the contributions they made. Perhaps revise as follows: "In conclusion, even though the disadvantages of an aging population outweigh its advantages, we cannot overlook the contributions they made during their lives."

There is a need for governments to manage to balance this issue.

I might rephrase as, "There is a critical role to be played by governments in caring for the elderly."

please correct my wriiting

Topic: ¶
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before.

Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments.

Other people think that there are benefits ifto society has if there aremore elderly people.

To what extent dDo the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

“To what extent” did not make sense here. I was confused

My essay: ¶
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The fact that average longevityincreased lifespan of human kind creasted has led to many debates around them.a lot of debates

While many people consider it as abelieve it’s beneficial trend, some may think the opposite.

One of the reasons for that thinking is based on the viewpointThey believe that an old population creates more issues for the government.

I approbelieve that the drawbacks outweigh the positives, and I will supply many analyses in this essay.

On the first hand, the experience that elderly have gained is a precious document for reference.???????

I am so confused. This sentence makes no sense

In fact, there are plenty of successful people asking for advice from their resigned teachers or consultors.

When they are ill, they neethey need to be cared, s for. Some elderly housing departures also needed to be built for them.

In conclusion, even though the advantages of the aging population outweigh its disadvantages, we can not deny the devotion they have ever paid during their working days.

“ we can not deny the devotion they have ever paid during their working days.”

This sentence makes no sense

There is a need for the government to manage to balancefix this issue.

My essay: ¶
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The fact that the average longevity of human lives has increased has led to many debates around them.

Just saying "longevity of human" seems very off-putting in a sense.

While many people consider it as a beneficial trend, some may think the opposite.

One of the reasons for that thinkingought is based on the viewpoint that an old population creates issues for the government.

I approve that the drawbacks outweigh the positives, and I will supply many analyses in this essay.

On the first hand, the experience that the elderly have gained is a precious document for reference.

Some of the best pieces of advices or even solutions can be suggested by them, thus they had experienced enough to teach their children or grandchildren.

Advice is an uncountable noun so using "pieces of" makes it right.

On the other hand, we can not deny some of the troubles they bring.

Not all old people choose to continue working, and even if they do, the yield would not be aso great as juveniles do.

Furthermore, the health deficit in health can create challenges for both the ¶
young onesth and the government.

When they are ill, they neethey need to be cared for. Because of that, some elderly housing departures also needed to be built for them.

In conclusion, even though the advantages of the aging population outweigh its disadvantages, we can not deny the devotion [they have ever paid] during their working days.

The words I put in the bracket are some things I didn't get. Could you please tell me what you are trying to explain?

There is a need for government to manage toand balance this issue.