Peter in the cCave Peter in the Cave

Peter *priepeers into* the cave. Peter peers into the cave.

Peter *pries into* the cave. Peter *pries into* the cave.

Cave does not require a capital c, I respectfully disagree with the previous reviewer. To pry, meaning to look into something with a curious air, is not a common word, but you have used it correctly here. It sounds very literary to me, not everyday language.

At once, he feels a nasty *whiff*. At once, he feels a nasty *whiff*.

I'm not sure what you mean here. Perhaps he feels a "whoosh" from the wings of the bats as they fly by?

At once, he feels a nasty *whiff*. At once, he feels a nasty *whiff*.

Whiff is smell. So you don't feel it, but you can catch it. He catches a nasty whiff. Again, this language is not incorrect but is not commonly used.

All inof a sudden, a *blare* bounces onff of the walls and a group of bats flyies *amok*. All of a sudden, a *blare* bounces off of the walls and a group of bats flies *amok*.

I'm not sure what you mean by a "blare" here. Also, I think it would be more appropriate to say that a group of bats flies in a frenzied cloud, or swoops through the air.

All in a sudden, a *blare* bounce on the walls and a group of bats fly *amok*. All in a sudden, a *blare* bounce on the walls and a group of bats fly *amok*.

Blare means noise, usually. So I am not sure if you have used the correct word here?

Despite the frightfeeling afraid, Peter doesn' not feel it like a *it is menace*ing. Despite feeling afraid, Peter does not feel like it is menacing.

Despite the fright Peter doesn't feel it likeis a *menace*. Despite the fright Peter doesn't feel it is a *menace*.

You could also say threat, which would be more common.

But, the child with him starts to *whimper* when as he *gawks* at a baby bat hanging from the ceiling. But, the child with him starts to whimper as he gawks at a baby bat hanging from the ceiling.