June 30, 2025
Part 4: The Confrontation in the Classroom
One day, during a break in the school, I stayed alone in a classroom writing some notes. My friends got out to eat their 'onces' (it is a Colombian word that refers to a snack that you eat between your breakfast and your lunch). Suddenly, Laura and the scariest 'ñera' of my school went into the classroom. The 'ñera' was the "student" tallest, more aggressive, without notebooks, and she had a face of finding a fight. She look like a guy.
They went in front of me, and Laura asked me:
- What are you saying about me?
I froze. I was alone. But I stood up, I took my things and I answered her:
- You must get informed first.
I got out from the classroom without running, but with firm steps. I left them there. I never confirmed if Daniela was behind this, but all circumstances pointed to her. I did not want to think it, because she was 'my best friend'... and a best friend doesn't want to hurt you... do they?
Parte 4: La confrontación en el salón de clases
Un día, durante un descanso en la escuela, me quedé sola en un salón escribiendo unas notas. Mis amigos habían salido a comer sus 'onces' (es una palabra colombiana que se refiere a una merienda que se come entre el desayuno y el almuerzo). De repente, Laura y la 'ñera' más temida de la escuela entraron en el salón. La 'ñera' era la "estudiante" más alta, más agresiva, no tenía cuadernos, y tenía cara de buscar pelea. Lucía como un chico.
Se pararon frente a mi y Laura me preguntó:
- ¿Qué está diciendo de mí?
Me congelé. Estaba sola. Pero me levanté, tomé mis cosas y le respondí:
- Primero deberías informarte.
Salí del salón sin correr, pero con paso firme. Las dejé allí. Nunca confirmé si Daniela estaba detrás de esto, pero todas las circunstancias apuntan a ella. No quería pensarlo, porque ella era 'mi mejor amiga'... y un mejor amigo no quiere herirte... ¿o sí?
One day, during a break in theat school, I stayed alone in a classroom writing some notes.
A "break in the school" sounds like the school is broken. Or that you're talking about a break in at the school.
My friends got out to eat their 'onces' (it is a Colombian word that refers to a snack that you eat between your breakfast and your lunch)midmorning snack.
"midmorning snack" is a very popular thing in America for kids especially.
Suddenly, Laura and the scariest 'ñera' of my school wentcame into the classroom.
I don't know what the context is with the term "'ñera".
The 'ñera' was the "student" tallest, more aggressive, without notebooks, and she had a face of finding a fight.
I don't fully understand this sentence - but I would rewrite it.
She looked like a guy.
You can choose past or present tense here. She looks like a guy. Most of your story is past tense though.
They wentComing to stand in front of me, and Laura asked me:
¶- What are you saying about me?
I was alone.
You could say, "I was on my own." or "all alone."
But I stood up, I tookgrabbed my things, and I answered her:
¶
- You must get informedGet your facts right first.
I think a more common way to say "get informed" in America is to get your facts right. It's like making sure the information you have is correct and true.
I got out ofrom the classroom without running, but with firm steps.
I never confirmed if Daniela was behind this, but all circumstances pointed toseemed to point at her.
Since your next sentence doesn't convey confidence in the accusation, I'd keep this subjective in the thinking. Seem to point at her makes it likely but you still aren't sure.
I did not want to even think it, because sheDaniela was 'my best friend'... and a best friend doesn't want to hurt you... do they?
Adding "even" emphasizes the emotion there.
Feedback
Great short story!
June 30, 2025
Hi! Thank you for your recommendations. I'm going to take into account. I'm going to keep writing about this because this story really touches me..... how bad can a person be? It's unbelievable.
Part 4: The Confrontation in the Classroom
One day, during a break in the school, I stayed alone in a classroom writing some notes.
It seems that you might be describing recess? Recess is a thing (most common in elementary schools, not so common in high schools) where the students are let outside for a few minutes to run around and play. That might not be what you're describing, it just seems that way.
My friends got out to eat their 'onces' (it is a Colombian word that refers to a snack that you eat between your breakfast and your lunch).
I took out the two times "your" was used not because it's wrong, (it's perfectly grammatically correct), but because it's more natural without it.
Suddenly, Laura and the scariest 'ñera' of my school went into the classroom.
The 'ñera' was the "student" tallest, morest aggressive, "student," without notebooks, and she had a face of findingappeared to be looking for a fight.
Changed "more aggressive" to "most aggressive" to align with "tallest."
She looked like a guy.
They went in front of me, and Laura asked me:
¶¶
-
"What are you saying about me?"
I froze.
I was alone.
But I stood up, I took my things and I answered her:
¶¶
-
"You must get informed first."
I got out from the classroom without running, but with firm steps.
"strides" would be a more colorful word to use in place of "steps"
I left them there.
I never confirmed if Daniela was behind this, but all circumstances pointed to her.
I did not want to think ithat, because she was 'my best friend'... and a best friend doesn't want to hurt you... do they?
June 30, 2025
Hello! Thank you so mucho for your feedback. I really appreciate it.
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Part 4: The Confrontation in the Classroom This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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One day, during a rest in the school, I stayed alone in a classroom writing some notes. |
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My friends got out to eat their 'onces' (it is a Colombian word that refers to a snack you eat between your breakfast and your lunch). |
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Suddenly, Laura and the scariest 'ñera' of my school got into the classroom. |
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The 'ñera' was the "student" tallest, more aggressive, without notebooks, and she had a face of finding a fight. The 'ñera' was the Changed "more aggressive" to "most aggressive" to align with "tallest." The 'ñera' was the "student" tallest, more aggressive, without notebooks, and she had a face of finding a fight. I don't fully understand this sentence - but I would rewrite it. |
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She look like a guy. She looked like a guy. She looked like a guy. You can choose past or present tense here. She looks like a guy. Most of your story is past tense though. |
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They put in front of me, and Laura asked me: - What are you saying about me? |
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I got freeze. |
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I was alone. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I was alone. You could say, "I was on my own." or "all alone." |
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But I stood up, I took my things and I answered her: - You must get informed first. But I stood up, I took my things and I answered her:
I think a more common way to say "get informed" in America is to get your facts right. It's like making sure the information you have is correct and true. |
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I got out from the classroom without run, but with firmly steps. |
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I left them there. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I never confirmed if Daniela was back of this, but all circumstances pointed her. |
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I did not want to think it, because she was 'my best friend', and a best friend don't want to hurt you... do it? |
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One day, during a break in the school, I stayed alone in a classroom writing some notes. One day, during a break in It seems that you might be describing recess? Recess is a thing (most common in elementary schools, not so common in high schools) where the students are let outside for a few minutes to run around and play. That might not be what you're describing, it just seems that way. One day, during a break A "break in the school" sounds like the school is broken. Or that you're talking about a break in at the school. |
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My friends got out to eat their 'onces' (it is a Colombian word that refers to a snack that you eat between your breakfast and your lunch). My friends got out to eat their 'onces' (it is a Colombian word that refers to a snack that you eat between I took out the two times "your" was used not because it's wrong, (it's perfectly grammatically correct), but because it's more natural without it. My friends got out to eat their "midmorning snack" is a very popular thing in America for kids especially. |
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Suddenly, Laura and the scariest 'ñera' of my school went into the classroom. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Suddenly, Laura and the scariest 'ñera' of my school I don't know what the context is with the term "'ñera". |
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They went in front of me, and Laura asked me: - What are you saying about me? They went in front of me, and Laura asked me:
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I froze. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I got out from the classroom without running, but with firm steps. I got out from the classroom without running, but with firm steps. "strides" would be a more colorful word to use in place of "steps" I got out of |
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I never confirmed if Daniela was behind this, but all circumstances pointed to her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I never confirmed if Daniela was behind this, but all circumstances Since your next sentence doesn't convey confidence in the accusation, I'd keep this subjective in the thinking. Seem to point at her makes it likely but you still aren't sure. |
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I did not want to think it, because she was 'my best friend'... and a best friend doesn't want to hurt you... do they? I did not want to think I did not want to even think it, because Adding "even" emphasizes the emotion there. |
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I did not want to think it, because she was 'my best friend', and a best friend doesn't want to hurt you... do they? |
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