adichira's avatar
adichira

June 30, 2025

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Part 3: I Didn't Say Anything Wrong... or so I Thought

I'm going to continue with my story "The Worst Best Friend". During this period, I studied in a public school. This school was located in a middle class neighborhood. This place was not so secure, but neither was so bad. So, you always needed to walk alertly there. The school was simple, but with a difficult environment.

One day, a new girl arrived at my class, her name was Laura. Afterward I discovered that Daniela knew her: they were ex-classmates. Daniela said to me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short" ('Pulga' is a flea), and I only answered to it "Yes, she is short", I did not give it relevance.

Until something happened that gives me chills still.

Parte 3: Yo no dije nada malo... o eso pensé

Voy a continuar con mi historia "La mejor peor amiga". En esa época, estudiaba en un colegio público. Esta escuela estaba localizada en un barrio de clase media. Este lugar no era tan seguro, pero tampoco tan malo. Entonces, tú siempre necesitabas caminar alerta allí. El colegio era común, pero el ambiente era difícil.

Un día llegó una niña nueva al salón, se llamaba Laura. Más tarde descubrí que Daniela la conocía: eran excompañeras. Daniela me dijo un día: “El apodo de Laura era 'La Pulga' porque es bajita” (Pulga es "flea"). Yo solo respondí: “Sí, es bajita”, y no le di relevancia.

Hasta que pasó algo que todavía me da escalofríos.

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Doing_my_best's avatar
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Part 3: I Didn't Say Anything Wrong... or so I Thought

I'm going to continue with my story "The Worst Best Friend".

During this period, I studied in a public school.

This school was located in a middle class neighborhood.

Thisese places wasere not so secure, but neither was so bad.

It would have to be "these places" because for "neither" to be used, there would have to be exactly two things being referred to.

So, you always needed to walk alertly ththere on high aleret.

The school was simple, but with a difficult environment.

One day, a new girl arrived ato my class, her name was Laura.

Afterward I discovered that Daniela knew her: they were ex-classmates.

Daniela said to me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short" ('Pulga' is a flea), and I only answered to it "Yes, she is short", I did not give it relevance.

Until something happened that gives me chills still.

Feedback

I love the cliffhanger!

adichira's avatar
adichira

June 30, 2025

0

Hi! Thank you for your feedback! I really appreciate it. I will take into account your recommendations. I will continue writing about this because this story really touches me... how much bad can be a person? It is unbelievable. hahahahah

reshiram's avatar
0

During this epochtime, I studied in a public school.

'Epoch' is really formal and academic. Some people might not even know what it means. It would not be used when referring to your own life; it would usually be used for a historical period.

This place was not so secure, but neither was so badeither safe nor unsafe.

If I were keeping this sentence as it was, I would need to add a subject after the period. Since we already established that the subject is 'this place', we can use a pronoun to refer to it now. So, it would be "but neither was it so bad". The original sentence does not sound natural, though.

So, you always needed to walk alertremain alert when walking there.

I think this sounds more natural.

The schoolwork was simplye, but with a difficult environmenthe environment was difficult.

'Simply' is an adverb, so it needs another word after it. It's usually used to say that something has just one characteristic (usually subjectively [in the speaker's opinion]), like 'simply awful' or 'simply excellent'. I think you were trying to say that the schoolwork was easy, so I changed the noun. If you mean that the school building was simple (i.e. small with basic facilities) then keep the sentence as it was.

One day, a new girl arrived atjoined my class, her name was Laura.

I still understood what you were saying, but this sounds more natural to me.

Daniela said to me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short," ('Pulga' is flea), and I only answered to itresponded with, "Yes, she is short",. I did not give it relevancethink much about it.

I think you're trying to say that you didn't think that this conversation was important, so you didn't deeply consider what to say or think about the conversation afterwards.

UThat is, until something happened that still gives me chills yet.

Saying 'that is' recalls your prior sentence and says that it was true *until* something happened.

Feedback

This is an engaging story and it made sense, overall. Great work!

adichira's avatar
adichira

June 30, 2025

0

Hi! Thank you for your feedback! I really appreciate it. I going to continue writing about this story... it isn't all! hahahahaha

Part 3: I Didn't Say Anything Wrong... or I so Thought

I'm going to continue with my story "The Worst Best Friend".

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

During this epoch, I studied in a public school.

During this epochtime, I studied in a public school.

'Epoch' is really formal and academic. Some people might not even know what it means. It would not be used when referring to your own life; it would usually be used for a historical period.

This school was located in a middle class neighborhood.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This place was not so secure, but neither was so bad.

This place was not so secure, but neither was so badeither safe nor unsafe.

If I were keeping this sentence as it was, I would need to add a subject after the period. Since we already established that the subject is 'this place', we can use a pronoun to refer to it now. So, it would be "but neither was it so bad". The original sentence does not sound natural, though.

Thisese places wasere not so secure, but neither was so bad.

It would have to be "these places" because for "neither" to be used, there would have to be exactly two things being referred to.

You needed to walk alert constantly.

The school was simply, but with a difficult environment.

The schoolwork was simplye, but with a difficult environmenthe environment was difficult.

'Simply' is an adverb, so it needs another word after it. It's usually used to say that something has just one characteristic (usually subjectively [in the speaker's opinion]), like 'simply awful' or 'simply excellent'. I think you were trying to say that the schoolwork was easy, so I changed the noun. If you mean that the school building was simple (i.e. small with basic facilities) then keep the sentence as it was.

One day, a new girl arrived at my class, her name was Laura.

One day, a new girl arrived atjoined my class, her name was Laura.

I still understood what you were saying, but this sounds more natural to me.

One day, a new girl arrived ato my class, her name was Laura.

Afterward I discovered that Daniela knew her: thew were ex-classmates.

Daniela said me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short" ('Pulga' is flea), I am only answered "Yes, she is short", I did not give relevance.

Until something happened that give me chills yet.

UThat is, until something happened that still gives me chills yet.

Saying 'that is' recalls your prior sentence and says that it was true *until* something happened.

Daniela said me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short" ('Pulga' is flea), and I only answered to it "Yes, she is short", I did not give it relevance.

Daniela said to me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short," ('Pulga' is flea), and I only answered to itresponded with, "Yes, she is short",. I did not give it relevancethink much about it.

I think you're trying to say that you didn't think that this conversation was important, so you didn't deeply consider what to say or think about the conversation afterwards.

You needed to walk alert constantly there.

Afterward I discovered that Daniela knew her: they were ex-classmates.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Part 3: I Didn't Say Anything Wrong... or so I Thought

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

During this period, I studied in a public school.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

So, you always needed to walk alertly there.

So, you always needed to walk alertly ththere on high aleret.

The school was simple, but with a difficult environment.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Daniela said to me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short" ('Pulga' is a flea), and I only answered to it "Yes, she is short", I did not give it relevance.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Until something happened that gives me chills still.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

So, you always needed to walk alert there.

So, you always needed to walk alertremain alert when walking there.

I think this sounds more natural.

Daniela said me one day: "Laura's nickname was 'La Pulga' because she is short" ('Pulga' is flea), I am only answered "Yes, she is short", I did not give it relevance.

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