June 19, 2020
Our journey back to taiwan- the way from bandung city to th
We packed all our stuffs in all of our luggage which is two carry-on luggage, two check-in baggage,two backpacks and two little shoulder bags.
The weight of our luggage was much lighter than the maximum weight that we are allowed to carry.
We also cleaned our department, and threw away all the thing that we couldn't carry, and no one wanted before our departure day.
I was very sleepy, waking up at 4:30am when is too early compared to our typical wake up time(8am).
The school bus driver came at 5pm after I carried my water dispenser to my colleague Mr. ma's department, and gave my keys to anther colleague Miss ara.
The bus driver helped us loaded all the luggage into the bus compartment, and we sprayed alcohol all over the place where we might touch after we get into the bus just in case.
It typically took at least more than five hours from our city to the airport due to the traffic jam before the lockdown, but on the departure day it only took us three hours to get to the airport.
We put on our masks before getting off the bus,and bade the bus diver good bye along with some tip.
To my surprise, there were few passenger in the airport ( we had thought that airport would be the most dangerous place full of passenger from all over the world).
We couldn't check in our luggage since we arrived too early, so the only thing we can do was wait.
We noticed that for every bench in the airport there were two long strip tapes of X shape stuck to the middle seat so that everyone could follow the social distance policy.
We had three hours to kill, so we just sat on the sides of a bench, playing with our phones.
Bliar strolled around the airport after she felt bored playing her phone.
The view in the airport reminded me of the drama walking dead in which most of human is dead, and all the place that once full of people is empty.
I had never thought that airport would be almost empty one day, it was like the end of the world.
It was an hour before we could check in.
Our journey back to tTaiwan- the way from bBandung city to the …
We packed all our stuffs in all of our luggage, which is twoconsists of two pieces of carry-on luggage, two pieces of check-in baggage, two backpacks and two little shoulder bags.
The weight of our luggage was much lighter than the maximum weight that we awere allowed to carry.
We also cleaned our deapartment, and threw away all the things that we couldn't carry, and that no one wanted before our departure day.
I was very sleepy, waking up at 4:30 am, whenich is toomuch earlyier compared to our typical wake up time(8 of 8 am).
The school bus driver came at 5 pm after I carried my water dispenser to my colleague Mr. mMa's deapartment, and gave my keys to another colleague, Miss aAra.
The bus driver helped us loaded all the luggage into the bus compartment, and we sprayed alcohol all over the place wheres that we might touch after we geot into the bus, just in case.
IBefore the lockdown, it typically took at least more than five hours to go from our city to the airport due to the traffic jam before the lockdowns, but on the day of our departure day, it only took us three hours to get to the airport.
“At least” and “more than” mean the same thing in this context, so we don’t need both.
We put on our masks before getting off the bus, and bade the bus driver good bye, along with someso giving him a tip.
To my surprise, there were few passengtravelers in the airport ( we had thought that the airport would be thea most dangerous place, being full of passengtravelers from all over the world).
We couldn't check in our luggage since we arrived too early, so the only thing we canould do was wait.
We noticed that foron every bench in the airport there were two long strips of tapes of X in a X-shape stuck to the middle seat so that everyone could follow the social distanceing policy.
We had three hours to kill, so we just sat on the sides of a bench, playing with our phones.
Bliair strolled around the airport after she felt bored of playing on her phone.
The view in the airport reminded me of the drama wWalking dDead, in which most of humanity is dead, and all the places that were once full of people isare empty.
I had never thought that airport would be almost empty one day,; it was like the end of the world.
It was an hour before we could check in.
Feedback
Be careful with punctuation. Commas should only separate sentence components if they’re functioning as a sort of adverb, in certain situations; are in a list; or are a separate clause. I would also pay attention to being consistent with tense.
June 20, 2020
Thank you for you correction. I am still trying to be more consistent with tense.
The "tense" concept doesn't exist in my language, so I always forget to use the past tense.
Our journey back to tTaiwan- the way f: From bBandung cCity to the (...?)
The names of places are always capitalized because they are proper nouns. I think a part of the title is missing, so I edited what was there.
We packed all our stuffs in all of our luggage, which isconsists of two carry-on luggage, two check-in baggage,s, two backpacks, and two little shoulder bags.
The weight of our luggage was much lighter than the maximum weight that we are allowed to carry.
We also cleaned our deapartment, before our departure and threw away all the things that we couldn't carry, and things that no one wanted before our departure day.
An apartment is a space where you live. A department is a section of a large company or organization. I also changed the sentence a bit to sound smoother. I believe you were talking about an apartment so I changed it to that.
I was very sleepy, waking because I woke up at 4:30am, whenich is too early compared to ourearlier than when I typically wake up time(8am).
I connected your sentence with the word "because" since "I was very sleepy" is a statement and the rest of your sentence was the reason for your sleepiness.
The school bus driver came at 5 pm after. Before that, I carried my water dispenser to my colleague Mr. mMa's deapartment, and gave my keys to another colleague, Miss aAra.
The names of people are always capitalized because they are proper nouns. I made this sentence into two sentences make the two events more separate. Since I made this into two sentences, I had to change "after" into "before that" which tells the reader that you did these things before the bus came. Also, a school bus takes children from their homes to school, so I don't think this is what you meant.
The bus driver helped us loaded all the luggage into the bus compartment, and just in case, we sprayed alcohol all over the place wherethings we might touch afteronce we get inton the bus just in case.
The sentence sounds more natural this way.
IBefore the lockdown, it typically took at least more than five hours from our city to the airport due to the traffic jam before the lockdown, but on the day of our departure day, it only took us three hours to get to the airport.
I understand what "departure day" is supposed to mean, but it's a bit awkward here in this sentence, so I changed it to "day of our departure" because it's less awkward.
We put on our masks before getting off the bus,and bade the bus driver good bye, along with somend gave a tip.
I used commas here to separate the series of actions done in this sentence. I also fixed a spelling mistake (from "diver" to "driver").
To my surprise, there were few passenger ineople inside the airport ( we had thought that the airport would be the most dangerous place full of passengereople from all over the world).
A passenger is a person that is in a vehicle (not including the driver). Since these people are not in a vehicle, they are not passengers. When they are on the plane, they will be passengers.
We couldn't check in our luggage since we arrived too early, so the only thing we canould do was wait.
The first part of your sentence was in past tense, so "can" (present tense) had to be changed to "could" (past tense).
We noticed that for every bench in the airport, there were two long strips of tapes of X in an X-shape stuck to the middle seat so that everyone could follow the social distance policy.
"Strip" is a counting word, so it has to change according to the number before it. For singular, it would be "a strip" or "one strip". For plural, it would be "two strips", "three strips", etc.
Bliar strolled around the airport after she felt bored playing on her phone.
The view in the airport reminded me of the drama wThe Walking dDead in which most of human iss are dead, and all the places that were once full of people isare empty.
The titles of stories, movies, TV shows, etc are always capitalized because they are proper nouns.
I had never thought that the airport would be almost empty one day, it was like the end of the world.
It was an hourAn hour passed before we could check -in.
"Check in" needs to have a hyphen to connect both words, so I changed it into "check-in".
Feedback
This is an interesting journal! I think people don't want to travel right now, so maybe that's why the airport was empty.
June 20, 2020
Wow! Thank you for your correction
I've learned a lot from your detailed explanation.
Yes, we also didn't want to the airport, but we had to at that time.
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Our journey back to taiwan- the way from bandung city to th Our journey back to The names of places are always capitalized because they are proper nouns. I think a part of the title is missing, so I edited what was there. Our journey back to |
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We packed all our stuffs in all of our luggage which is two carry-on luggage, two check-in baggage,two backpacks and two little shoulder bags. We packed all our stuff We packed all our stuff |
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The weight of our luggage was much lighter than the maximum weight that we are allowed to carry. This sentence has been marked as perfect! The weight of our luggage was much lighter than the maximum weight that we |
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We also cleaned our department, and threw away all the thing that we couldn't carry, and no one wanted before our departure day. We also cleaned our An apartment is a space where you live. A department is a section of a large company or organization. I also changed the sentence a bit to sound smoother. I believe you were talking about an apartment so I changed it to that. We also cleaned |
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I was very sleepy, waking up at 4:30am when is too early compared to our typical wake up time(8am). I was very sleepy I connected your sentence with the word "because" since "I was very sleepy" is a statement and the rest of your sentence was the reason for your sleepiness. I was very sleepy, waking up at 4:30 am, wh |
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The school bus driver came at 5pm after I carried my water dispenser to my colleague Mr. ma's department, and gave my keys to anther colleague Miss ara. The The names of people are always capitalized because they are proper nouns. I made this sentence into two sentences make the two events more separate. Since I made this into two sentences, I had to change "after" into "before that" which tells the reader that you did these things before the bus came. Also, a school bus takes children from their homes to school, so I don't think this is what you meant. The school bus driver came at 5 pm after I carried my water |
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The bus driver helped us loaded all the luggage into the bus compartment, and we sprayed alcohol all over the place where we might touch after we get into the bus just in case. The bus driver helped us load The sentence sounds more natural this way. The bus driver helped us load |
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It typically took at least more than five hours from our city to the airport due to the traffic jam before the lockdown, but on the departure day it only took us three hours to get to the airport.
I understand what "departure day" is supposed to mean, but it's a bit awkward here in this sentence, so I changed it to "day of our departure" because it's less awkward.
“At least” and “more than” mean the same thing in this context, so we don’t need both. |
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We put on our masks before getting off the bus,and bade the bus diver good bye along with some tip. We put on our masks before getting off the bus, I used commas here to separate the series of actions done in this sentence. I also fixed a spelling mistake (from "diver" to "driver"). We put on our masks before getting off the bus |
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To my surprise, there were few passenger in the airport ( we had thought that airport would be the most dangerous place full of passenger from all over the world). To my surprise, there were few p A passenger is a person that is in a vehicle (not including the driver). Since these people are not in a vehicle, they are not passengers. When they are on the plane, they will be passengers. To my surprise, there were few |
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We couldn't check in our luggage since we arrived too early, so the only thing we can do was wait. We couldn't check in our luggage since we arrived too early, so the only thing we c The first part of your sentence was in past tense, so "can" (present tense) had to be changed to "could" (past tense). We couldn't check in our luggage since we arrived too early, so the only thing we c |
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We noticed that for every bench in the airport there were two long strip tapes of X shape stuck to the middle seat so that everyone could follow the social distance policy. We noticed that for every bench in the airport, there were two long strips of tape "Strip" is a counting word, so it has to change according to the number before it. For singular, it would be "a strip" or "one strip". For plural, it would be "two strips", "three strips", etc. We noticed that |
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We had three hours to kill, so we just sat on the sides of a bench, playing with our phones. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Bliar strolled around the airport after she felt bored playing her phone. Bliar strolled around the airport after she felt bored playing on her phone. Bl |
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The view in the airport reminded me of the drama walking dead in which most of human is dead, and all the place that once full of people is empty. The view in the airport reminded me of the drama The titles of stories, movies, TV shows, etc are always capitalized because they are proper nouns. The view in the airport reminded me of the drama |
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I had never thought that airport would be almost empty one day, it was like the end of the world. I had never thought that the airport would be almost empty one day, it was like the end of the I had never thought that airport would be almost empty one day |
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It was an hour before we could check in.
"Check in" needs to have a hyphen to connect both words, so I changed it into "check-in". This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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