Oct. 3, 2022
One very important milestone that Otto the Great achieved was to put an end to the magyar raids in Western Europe. This was a long-standing problem that his father also had to face. The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians, but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south. The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other. The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops, the end of the raids and played a key role in the stability of Otto’s kingship.
Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, what meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then. The stay in Italy, following his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years.
The critical bendturning/breaking point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other.
personally, bending point isn't something I say. I'd usually say breaking point/ turning point.
The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians,(,) but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south.
In my opinion, the first comma is incorrect and the second is optional. Plural “menaces” seems correct to me.
Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope oin his conflict with an Italian noble, whatich meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact / feat then.
The / His stay in Italy, [following] his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years.
This makes me think he stayed an additional 10 years AFTER his coronation, but I wonder if you might mean he stayed for a total of 10 years. Or was he crowned soon after he arrived in Italy, rendering my question moot?
Feedback
Well done
One very important milestone that Otto the Great achieved was to put an end to the magyar raids in Western Europe.
This was a long-standing problem that his father also had to face.
The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians, but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south.
It's difficult to explain why, but this sounds better to me in the singular. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we might use words like this to describe a general "menace", rather than specific isolated incidents.
The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crlashed intowith each other.
What you wrote certainly works, but I think "clashed with" might be an even more fitting phrasal verb here, especially because it usually is used in relation to battle or some sort of fight.
The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops, and the end of the raids and. Additionally, it played a key role in the stability of Otto’s kingship.
I think it's better to separate these sentences since we can't really list three things in a row where the first two share a verb ("it meant the....") and the last item in the list has a whole new verb ("played a key role..."). Either they should all match with one verb at the beginning, or they each should have their own verb in the list.
Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, whatich meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then.
Feedback
Wow! Truly impressed. You use extremely natural language, and your writing could easily pass as a native speaker's. Let me know if you have any questions about my suggestions.
Otto The Great (and third) |
One very important milestone that Otto the Great achieved was to put an end to the magyar raids in Western Europe. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
This was a long-standing problem that his father also had to face. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians, but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south. The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menace It's difficult to explain why, but this sounds better to me in the singular. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we might use words like this to describe a general "menace", rather than specific isolated incidents. The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces In my opinion, the first comma is incorrect and the second is optional. Plural “menaces” seems correct to me. |
The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other. The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies c What you wrote certainly works, but I think "clashed with" might be an even more fitting phrasal verb here, especially because it usually is used in relation to battle or some sort of fight. The critical personally, bending point isn't something I say. I'd usually say breaking point/ turning point. |
The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops, the end of the raids and played a key role in the stability of Otto’s kingship. The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops I think it's better to separate these sentences since we can't really list three things in a row where the first two share a verb ("it meant the....") and the last item in the list has a whole new verb ("played a key role..."). Either they should all match with one verb at the beginning, or they each should have their own verb in the list. |
Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, what meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then. Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, wh Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope |
The stay in Italy, following his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years. The / His stay in Italy, [following] his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years. This makes me think he stayed an additional 10 years AFTER his coronation, but I wonder if you might mean he stayed for a total of 10 years. Or was he crowned soon after he arrived in Italy, rendering my question moot? |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium