jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 3, 2022

0
Otto The Great (and third)

One very important milestone that Otto the Great achieved was to put an end to the magyar raids in Western Europe. This was a long-standing problem that his father also had to face. The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians, but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south. The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other. The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops, the end of the raids and played a key role in the stability of Otto’s kingship.

Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, what meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then. The stay in Italy, following his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years.

Corrections

The critical bendturning/breaking point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other.

personally, bending point isn't something I say. I'd usually say breaking point/ turning point.

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 4, 2022

0

The critical bendturning/breaking point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other.

Ok! thanks :-)

The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians,(,) but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south.

In my opinion, the first comma is incorrect and the second is optional. Plural “menaces” seems correct to me.

Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope oin his conflict with an Italian noble, whatich meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact / feat then.

The / His stay in Italy, [following] his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years.

This makes me think he stayed an additional 10 years AFTER his coronation, but I wonder if you might mean he stayed for a total of 10 years. Or was he crowned soon after he arrived in Italy, rendering my question moot?

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Well done

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 3, 2022

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The / His stay in Italy, [following] his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years.

I wanted to say that the whole stay lasted 10 years. So, I would say that your first answer was what I intended to say

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 3, 2022

0

Thanks a lot for your correction and your explanation, JoeTofu. It helps me a lot :-)

JoeTofu's avatar
JoeTofu

Oct. 3, 2022

1

I wanted to say that the whole stay lasted 10 years. So, I would say that your first answer was what I intended to say

You’re welcome.

Then how about this?
“His stay in Italy, during which he would be crowned Emperor, would last ten years.”

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 4, 2022

0

You’re welcome. Then how about this? “His stay in Italy, during which he would be crowned Emperor, would last ten years.”

Much clearer. Thanks again!

One very important milestone that Otto the Great achieved was to put an end to the magyar raids in Western Europe.

This was a long-standing problem that his father also had to face.

The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians, but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south.

It's difficult to explain why, but this sounds better to me in the singular. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we might use words like this to describe a general "menace", rather than specific isolated incidents.

The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crlashed intowith each other.

What you wrote certainly works, but I think "clashed with" might be an even more fitting phrasal verb here, especially because it usually is used in relation to battle or some sort of fight.

The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops, and the end of the raids and. Additionally, it played a key role in the stability of Otto’s kingship.

I think it's better to separate these sentences since we can't really list three things in a row where the first two share a verb ("it meant the....") and the last item in the list has a whole new verb ("played a key role..."). Either they should all match with one verb at the beginning, or they each should have their own verb in the list.

Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, whatich meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then.

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Wow! Truly impressed. You use extremely natural language, and your writing could easily pass as a native speaker's. Let me know if you have any questions about my suggestions.

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 3, 2022

0

Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, whatich meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then.

For this case it would be great if you can explain a little more :-)

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 3, 2022

0

Thanks a lot jaghetert. Your explanations are truly great and help me a lot! :-)

jagheterj's avatar
jagheterj

Oct. 3, 2022

0

For this case it would be great if you can explain a little more :-)

Yeah, sorry- I should have clarified. "Which" is used in relative clauses to join two clauses or provide more information. I believe you could call this case a "non-defining relative clause", which means that it adds extra information which is not crucial to the structure of the sentence. In other words, the sentence could stand on its own without the non-defining clause.
"What" is used as an interrogative pronoun ("which" can also be this), an adverb, and a determiner (comes before a noun to clarify quantity or specify something else) but is more limited than "which" and isn't used to connect two clauses or add new information.
Some examples include:
"I ended up staying in Germany for two more years, which wasn't part of the plan."
"He traveled to more than a dozen countries during his year abroad, which he described as one of the best times of his life."
"She attended one of the most prestigious schools in the country, which helped her easily land a high-ranking job."
I would like to note that I think I may have heard this usage of "what" as part of certain dialects (maybe from northern Britian?), but it's not used in standard English, and it's not accepted in writing.
Hope this explanation clears things up! Let me know if anything still doesn't make sense.

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 3, 2022

0

Yeah, sorry- I should have clarified. "Which" is used in relative clauses to join two clauses or provide more information. I believe you could call this case a "non-defining relative clause", which means that it adds extra information which is not crucial to the structure of the sentence. In other words, the sentence could stand on its own without the non-defining clause. "What" is used as an interrogative pronoun ("which" can also be this), an adverb, and a determiner (comes before a noun to clarify quantity or specify something else) but is more limited than "which" and isn't used to connect two clauses or add new information. Some examples include: "I ended up staying in Germany for two more years, which wasn't part of the plan." "He traveled to more than a dozen countries during his year abroad, which he described as one of the best times of his life." "She attended one of the most prestigious schools in the country, which helped her easily land a high-ranking job." I would like to note that I think I may have heard this usage of "what" as part of certain dialects (maybe from northern Britian?), but it's not used in standard English, and it's not accepted in writing. Hope this explanation clears things up! Let me know if anything still doesn't make sense.

It is a very detailed explanation. I appreciate it! :-)

jfartogra's avatar
jfartogra

Oct. 3, 2022

0

Your explanations are great and they imply a lot of work

Otto The Great (and third)


One very important milestone that Otto the Great achieved was to put an end to the magyar raids in Western Europe.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This was a long-standing problem that his father also had to face.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians, but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south.


The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians, but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south.

It's difficult to explain why, but this sounds better to me in the singular. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we might use words like this to describe a general "menace", rather than specific isolated incidents.

The former Carolingian Empire had to tackle the menaces, not only of the Hungarians,(,) but also the Vikings from the north and the Arab expansion from the south.

In my opinion, the first comma is incorrect and the second is optional. Plural “menaces” seems correct to me.

The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other.


The critical bending point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crlashed intowith each other.

What you wrote certainly works, but I think "clashed with" might be an even more fitting phrasal verb here, especially because it usually is used in relation to battle or some sort of fight.

The critical bendturning/breaking point was the Battle of Lechfeld, where over the course of three days the Hungarian and the “German” armies crashed into each other.

personally, bending point isn't something I say. I'd usually say breaking point/ turning point.

The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops, the end of the raids and played a key role in the stability of Otto’s kingship.


The battle meant the annihilation of the Hungarian troops, and the end of the raids and. Additionally, it played a key role in the stability of Otto’s kingship.

I think it's better to separate these sentences since we can't really list three things in a row where the first two share a verb ("it meant the....") and the last item in the list has a whole new verb ("played a key role..."). Either they should all match with one verb at the beginning, or they each should have their own verb in the list.

Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, what meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then.


Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope on his conflict with an Italian noble, whatich meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact then.

Otto was already fifty (an advanced age for that time) when he marched to Rome to support the Pope oin his conflict with an Italian noble, whatich meant crossing the Alps, a non-straightforward fact / feat then.

The stay in Italy, following his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years.


The / His stay in Italy, [following] his coronation as Emperor, would last ten years.

This makes me think he stayed an additional 10 years AFTER his coronation, but I wonder if you might mean he stayed for a total of 10 years. Or was he crowned soon after he arrived in Italy, rendering my question moot?

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