pink_pion's avatar
pink_pion

Nov. 1, 2023

0
one day life will be kind...

Maybe, one day people will be kind. I believe that one day people will live, and love will be everything that needed for human. Once day they all will just create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world and they will not think about war and criminal things. I suppose every person has to live in peaceful world and think about they dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood. Because there are so many prettiest things that we can do and learn. We have all cosmos what we dont know, and I dont understand, I really dont understand why some people want make crimes and kill another dreams and future when we have so big place for searching. Its too strange. I think its not right. Look at stars and understand: we are so little and we have so little time. I want to spend my time with love and opened heart.

Corrections

oOne day life will be kind...

Maybe, one day people will be kind.

I believe that one day people will live kindly, and love will be everything that needed for humanhumans need.

Once day they all will justall create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world, and they will not think about such things as war and criminal thingse.

I supposethink that every person hasshould be able to live in a peaceful world and only think about theyir dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood.

Because there are so many prettiestr things that we can do and learn.

We have allthe cosmos wthat we dont know about, and I don't understand, I really don't understand why some people want makecommit crimes and kill another person's dreams and future when we have souch a big place forto searching.

It's too strange.

I think it's not right.

Look at the stars and understand: we are so little and we have so little time.

I want to spend my time with love and an opened heart.

Feedback

Beautiful thoughts.

pink_pion's avatar
pink_pion

Nov. 2, 2023

0

Thanks for your help and feedback!

one day life will be kind...

Maybe, one day, people will be kind.

I believe that one day, people will live, and love will be everything that is needed for humans.

You could also say 'needed to be human'

Once day they all will just create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world and they will not think about war and criminal things.

Because you use 'will', it sounds better to use 'will' to start off each section. As well, you can get rid of all the 'will' after the first one!

I suppose every person hawants to live in a peaceful world and think about theyir dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood.

Because there are so many prettiestr things that we can do and learn.

We all have all cosmos what we don't know about, and I don't understand, I really don't understand why some people want maketo commit crimes and kill another's dreams and future when we have souch a big place for searchingto explore.

It's too strange.

I think it's not right.

Look at the stars and understand: we are so little and we have so little time.

This is a really beautiful way to phrase this!!

I want to spend my time with love and an opened heart.

You can also make this present tense "I want to spend my time loving with an open heart"

Feedback

Your message is so true - I really enjoyed reading your thoughts!

pink_pion's avatar
pink_pion

Nov. 2, 2023

0

Thanks! I really appreciate your help and kind feedback.

I believe that one day people will live, and love will be everything that needed for humanhumans need.

Once day they all will just create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world and they will not think about war andnor criminal thingse.

"Will not think about war and crime" means they might think about one, but not both. Changing "and" to "nor" means they will think about neither.

I suppose every person has to live in peaceful world and think about theyir dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood.

"I suppose every person has to" is a little unclear to me. Are they compelled to? Or do you mean "in order for that to happen, everyone has to"?

Because there are so many prettiestbeautiful things that we can do and learn.

"Prettiest" was a bit unclear to me so I took a shot in the dark.

We have all cosmos wthat we dont know, and I dont or understand, I really don't understand why some people want maketo commit crimes and kill another's dreams and future when we have souch a big place forto searching.

Feedback

These are some good thoughts. Thank you for the essay.

pink_pion's avatar
pink_pion

Nov. 2, 2023

0

Thank you very much!

one day life will be kind...


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

oOne day life will be kind...

Maybe, one day people will be kind.


Maybe, one day, people will be kind.

Maybe, one day people will be kind.

I believe that one day people will live, and love will be everything that needed for human.


I believe that one day people will live, and love will be everything that needed for humanhumans need.

I believe that one day, people will live, and love will be everything that is needed for humans.

You could also say 'needed to be human'

I believe that one day people will live kindly, and love will be everything that needed for humanhumans need.

Once day they all will just create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world and they will not think about war and criminal things.


Once day they all will just create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world and they will not think about war andnor criminal thingse.

"Will not think about war and crime" means they might think about one, but not both. Changing "and" to "nor" means they will think about neither.

Once day they all will just create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world and they will not think about war and criminal things.

Because you use 'will', it sounds better to use 'will' to start off each section. As well, you can get rid of all the 'will' after the first one!

Once day they all will justall create fantastic things, will spend time with beloved people, they will search this beautiful world, and they will not think about such things as war and criminal thingse.

I suppose every person has to live in peaceful world and think about they dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood.


I suppose every person has to live in peaceful world and think about theyir dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood.

"I suppose every person has to" is a little unclear to me. Are they compelled to? Or do you mean "in order for that to happen, everyone has to"?

I suppose every person hawants to live in a peaceful world and think about theyir dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood.

I supposethink that every person hasshould be able to live in a peaceful world and only think about theyir dreams and little problems, not about bombs, dictators, wars and blood.

Because there are so many prettiest things that we can do and learn.


Because there are so many prettiestbeautiful things that we can do and learn.

"Prettiest" was a bit unclear to me so I took a shot in the dark.

Because there are so many prettiestr things that we can do and learn.

Because there are so many prettiestr things that we can do and learn.

We have all cosmos what we dont know, and I dont understand, I really dont understand why some people want make crimes and kill another dreams and future when we have so big place for searching.


We have all cosmos wthat we dont know, and I dont or understand, I really don't understand why some people want maketo commit crimes and kill another's dreams and future when we have souch a big place forto searching.

We all have all cosmos what we don't know about, and I don't understand, I really don't understand why some people want maketo commit crimes and kill another's dreams and future when we have souch a big place for searchingto explore.

We have allthe cosmos wthat we dont know about, and I don't understand, I really don't understand why some people want makecommit crimes and kill another person's dreams and future when we have souch a big place forto searching.

Its too strange.


It's too strange.

It's too strange.

I think its not right.


I think it's not right.

I think it's not right.

Look at stars and understand: we are so little and we have so little time.


Look at the stars and understand: we are so little and we have so little time.

This is a really beautiful way to phrase this!!

Look at the stars and understand: we are so little and we have so little time.

I want to spend my time with love and opened heart.


I want to spend my time with love and an opened heart.

You can also make this present tense "I want to spend my time loving with an open heart"

I want to spend my time with love and an opened heart.

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