July 19, 2023
Old man
Although it was still pitch dark, the old man could feel the morning approaching. While he was rowing the boat, he heard the flying fish jumping out of the water and sizzling through the darkness. He loved the flying fish. They were his best friends when he was out at sea on his own. He felt pity for the birds, especially the small and weak ones, like the tiny dark swallows that were continually flying and searching, seemingly never able to find what they were looking for. He thought, "Birds’ lives are harder than ours, except for those of the big, strong ones, like the birds of prey. Why did God make birds as delicate and fragile as those swallows of the sea when He knew the sea to be so merciless? The sea is sweet and beautiful, but it can be cruel, and its anger can rise suddenly. Those small birds with sad, quiet voices are too delicate for la mar."
He used to call the sea "la mar". This is how Spanish-speaking sailors refer to the sea if they love the sea. "La mar" implies that the sea is female. Sometimes, these sailors can complain about the sea, but they do it as if they were talking about a troublesome woman whom they love deeply. Some of the younger sailors, those who use buoys and floaters for their nets and own motorboats, refer to the sea as "el mar", implying that the sea is male. These sailors talk about the sea as if it were a rival, an enemy that needs to be vanquished. As far as the old man was concerned, the sea was a woman, a woman that could bestow or deny great favours, a woman that could do perverse and terrible things, but not because she was evil but because she just couldn’t help herself.
Old man
Although it was still pitch dark, the old man could feel the morning approaching.
While he was rowing the boat, he heard the flying fish jumping out of the water and sizzlflying through the darkness.
He loved the flying fish.
They were his best friends when he was out at sea on his own.
He felt pity for the birds, especially the small and weak ones, like the tiny dark swallows that were continually flying and searching, seemingly never able to find what they were looking for.
He thought, "Birds’ lives are harder than ours, except for those of the big, strong ones, like the birds of prey.
Why did God make birds as delicate and fragile as those swallows of the sea when He knew the sea tocould be so merciless?
The sea is sweetcalm and beautiful, but it can also be cruel, and its anger can rise suddenly.
Those small birds with sad, quiet voices are too delicate for la mar."
He used to call the sea "la mar".
This is how Spanish-speaking sailors refer to the sea if they love the sea.
"La mar" implies that the sea is female.
Sometimes, these sailors can complain about the sea, but they do it as if they were talking about a troublesome woman whomthat they love deeply.
Some of the younger sailors, those who use buoys and floaters for their nets and own motorboats, refer to the sea as "el mar", implying that the sea is male.
These sailors talk about the sea as if it were a rival, an enemy that needs to be vanquished.
As far as the old man was concerned, the sea was a woman, a woman that could bestow or deny great favours, a woman that could do perverse and terrible things, but not because she was evil but because she just couldn’t help herself.
July 20, 2023
Thanks a lot!
Although it was still pitch dark, the old man could feel the morning approaching.
He loved the flying fish.
They were his best friends when he was out at sea on his own.
He felt pity for the birds, especially the small and weak ones, like the tiny dark swallows that were continually flying and searching, seemingly never able to find what they were looking for.
He thought, "Birds’ lives are harder than ours, except for those of the big, strong ones, like the birds of prey.
Why did God make birds as delicate and fragile as those swallows of the sea when Hhe knew the sea to be so merciless?
'he' doesn't need to be capitalised, even when talking about God
The sea is sweet and beautiful, but it can be cruel, and its anger can rise suddenly.
Those small birds with sad, quiet voices are too delicate for "la mar.".
He usliked to call the sea "la mar".
Not incorrect, but I am assuming that he still calls it "la mar", whereas 'used to' implies that he doesn't call it that anymore
This is how Spanish-speaking sailors refer to the sea if they love the sea.
"La mar" implies that the sea is female.
Sometimes, these sailors can complain about the sea, but they do it as if they were talking about a troublesome woman whom they love deeply.
Some of the younger sailors, those who use buoys and floaters for their nets and own motorboats, refer to the sea as "el mar", implying that the sea is male.
These sailors talk about the sea as if it were a rival, an enemy that needs to be vanquished.
As far as the old man was concerned, the sea was a woman, a woman that could bestow or deny great favours, a woman that could do perverse and terrible things, but not because she was evil but because she just couldn’t help herself.
Feedback
A few small easy-to-make mistakes, overall, very good! An interesting read as well.
July 19, 2023
Thanks a lot! Those corrections are very useful to me.
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Old man This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Although it was still pitch dark, the old man could feel the morning approaching. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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While he was rowing the boat, he heard the flying fish jumping out of the water and sizzling through the darkness. While he was rowing the boat, he heard the flying fish jumping out of the water and |
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He loved the flying fish. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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They were his best friends when he was out at sea on his own. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He felt pity for the birds, especially the small and weak ones, like the tiny dark swallows that were continually flying and searching, seemingly never able to find what they were looking for. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He thought, "Birds’ lives are harder than ours, except for those of the big, strong ones, like the birds of prey. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Why did God make birds as delicate and fragile as those swallows of the sea when He knew the sea to be so merciless? Why did God make birds as delicate and fragile as those swallows of the sea when 'he' doesn't need to be capitalised, even when talking about God Why did God make birds as delicate and fragile as those swallows of the sea when He knew the sea |
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The sea is sweet and beautiful, but it can be cruel, and its anger can rise suddenly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! The sea is |
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Those small birds with sad, quiet voices are too delicate for la mar." Those small birds with sad, quiet voices are too delicate for "la mar This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He used to call the sea "la mar". He Not incorrect, but I am assuming that he still calls it "la mar", whereas 'used to' implies that he doesn't call it that anymore This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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This is how Spanish-speaking sailors refer to the sea if they love the sea. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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"La mar" implies that the sea is female. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sometimes, these sailors can complain about the sea, but they do it as if they were talking about a troublesome woman whom they love deeply. Sometimes, these sailors Sometimes, these sailors can complain about the sea, but they do it as if they were talking about a troublesome woman |
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Some of the younger sailors, those who use buoys and floaters for their nets and own motorboats, refer to the sea as "el mar", implying that the sea is male. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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These sailors talk about the sea as if it were a rival, an enemy that needs to be vanquished. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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As far as the old man was concerned, the sea was a woman, a woman that could bestow or deny great favours, a woman that could do perverse and terrible things, but not because she was evil but because she just couldn’t help herself. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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