Nov. 8, 2020
Old friend
I got in touch with a friend after a long time. Looking at my phone, the last time that we talked was about 3 years ago. It's not we fought, we just didn't keep in touch, but I've wanted to meet her again, so I had a courage to send a message. Then, she replied quickly. It seemed she was glad. I'm happy too. She said she had a baby last year. I was surprised! We made a promise to meet up. I've been feeling a bit down, but now I'm excited.
昔の友達
久しぶりに昔の友達に連絡をしました。スマホを見てみると、最後にメッセージをしたのは３年くらい前でした。私達はケンカをしたわけではなく、ただ連絡をとっていないだけでした。私は彼女にずっと会いたいと思っていたので、勇気を出してメッセージを送りました。そうしたら、すぐに返事がきました。彼女は私の連絡に喜んでくれてると感じました。私は嬉しいです。彼女は去年赤ちゃんが産まれたらしくて、私はびっくりしました！今度会う約束をしました。最近少し落ち込んでいましたが、楽しみな予定ができて嬉しいです。
Old friend
I recently got in touch with a friend after a long time.
Adding a time-related word to specify when this happened makes the writing style better.
Looking at my phone, the last time that we talked was about 3 years ago.
This is perfect, though I would take out the "that" here since it's superfluous and removing it feels better to me.
It's not that we fought, - we just didn't keep in touch, but. I've wanted to meet her again, so I had a for a while though, so I gathered up the courage to send a message.
In English, it's hard to explain why, but if you reverse the tone of your writing twice in one sentence (like you do in the original here), it feels very strange. That's why I split this up into two sentences. Also, when I think about it, a verb with the conjugation like "I've" should usually have a time-related word attached to it to describe the time frame of the action. That's why I added "for a while" in there too.
Then, she replied quickly.
It seemed she was glad I messaged her.
If you want to say she was glad that you messaged her, you should include the reason.
I'm was happy too.
You should explain why you were happy since it's unclear. Were you happy she responded? No matter what it is, you should include the reason why you were happy.
She said she had a baby last year.
I was surprised!
We made a promise to meet up.
I've been was feeling a bit down before, but now I'm excited.
The verb form "I was feeling... but" is useful for when you had emotions of a certain kind, and then an event happened which changed them. e.g. "I was feeling a bit angry but his apology made me cool off."
Feedback
Good work!
Nov. 8, 2020
Thank you for the correction and explanations. I learned a lot!
Old friend
I got in touch with a friend after a long time.
Looking at my phone, the last time that we talked was about 3three years ago.
Small numbers (generally those less than 10) should generally be written out unless you need to emphasize them, as in a math problem.
It's not we foughthat we had a falling out, we just didn't keep in touch, b. But I've wanted to meet her again, so I had aplucked up the courage to send a message.
You could also replace "fought" with "had a fight." "We fought" is grammatical, but doesn't sound as idiomatic for this situation.
"Had the courage" describes a state, so it doesn't make sense to use it after "so," which suggests cause. Instead, you could replace "so" with "and," or use the phrasing that I suggested.
Then, she replied quickly.
It seemed she was glad.
I'm happy too.
She said she had a baby last year.
I was surprised!
We made a promise to meet up.
I've been feeling a bit down, but now I'm excited.
Feedback
Great job! Not too many mistakes. Getting back in touch with people can be really rewarding sometimes.
Nov. 8, 2020
Thank you so much for teaching me. I learned a lot!
Yes! I'm happy. I hope I keep in touch with her from now.
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Old friend This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I got in touch with a friend after a long time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I recently got in touch with a friend after a long time. Adding a time-related word to specify when this happened makes the writing style better. |
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Looking at my phone, the last time that we talked was about 3 years ago. Looking at my phone, the last time that we talked was about Small numbers (generally those less than 10) should generally be written out unless you need to emphasize them, as in a math problem. Looking at my phone, the last time This is perfect, though I would take out the "that" here since it's superfluous and removing it feels better to me. |
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It's not we fought, we just didn't keep in touch. |
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I've wanted to meet her again, so I have a courage to send a message. |
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Then, she replyed quickly. |
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It seemed she was glad. This sentence has been marked as perfect! It seemed she was glad I messaged her. If you want to say she was glad that you messaged her, you should include the reason. |
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I'm happy too. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I You should explain why you were happy since it's unclear. Were you happy she responded? No matter what it is, you should include the reason why you were happy. |
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She said she had a baby last year. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I was surprised! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We made a promise to meet up. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I've been feeling a bit down, but now I'm excited. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I The verb form "I was feeling... but" is useful for when you had emotions of a certain kind, and then an event happened which changed them. e.g. "I was feeling a bit angry but his apology made me cool off." |
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Then, she replied quickly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I've wanted to meet her again, so I had a courage to send a message. |
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It's not we fought, we just didn't keep in touch, but I've wanted to meet her again, so I had a courage to send a message. It's not You could also replace "fought" with "had a fight." "We fought" is grammatical, but doesn't sound as idiomatic for this situation. "Had the courage" describes a state, so it doesn't make sense to use it after "so," which suggests cause. Instead, you could replace "so" with "and," or use the phrasing that I suggested. It's not that we fought In English, it's hard to explain why, but if you reverse the tone of your writing twice in one sentence (like you do in the original here), it feels very strange. That's why I split this up into two sentences. Also, when I think about it, a verb with the conjugation like "I've" should usually have a time-related word attached to it to describe the time frame of the action. That's why I added "for a while" in there too. |
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