Foreign family
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There was an American immigrant family living in my community, consisting of a parents and their son. Their son could speak fluent Chinese with slightly accent. His parents wasn't that good but OK. At that time, it was rare to see and play with a foreign peer. He told us——the group of kids who played together——His name is [tɕʰŷn] (I really don't know how to spell his name, either in English or Chinese. Though here is how we pronounce it) In my own version, it’s would be CHWEN. We never saw him and his family again around the time we entered fifth grade. When I look back at those memories, I’m not even sure whether I had ever felt any strange about a disappearance of one of my childhood playmate. When did he show up and when did he leaves. Is he back to US? Or moving to another city in China? I have no ideas. Looking back, one or two things remain clear in my mind. Moments that revealed a page of differences between Chinese and Us. The first things that shocks me is how they celebrate the Christmas and Halloween. They really invested lots of energy and time in it. One Christmas eve. He showed us a picture on his phone of his bedroom. In the picture, his room was decorated entirely with a spider man theme. Spider man printed on his bed, on the wallpaper, spider man on everywhere in his room. He told us the coolest part was what lay under his bed “full of spider man present” He didn’t show us the specific picture. I could only imagine. In contrast, Chinese parents don't do such often. Most middle class family or those below, only give presents on birthday, or giving as a reward for academic performances. The most things Chinese student hear growing up from their parents is “If you get good ranking on next examination, you will get........” I received my first laptop in six grade for I ranked fifth at a science examination in my class. But relatives would give children money at Spring Festival, so they can buy anything they want. Quite fair actually. The next things is about the attitude toward police officer. A normal day some friends asked me to follow them to watch a prank. A naughty kids spat on Chwen's father's car. Some children disliked his father for no clear reason—perhaps out of pure curiosity. The kids were so excited when he had finished his prank, but merely few minutes later, Chewn’s father came with a cotton swab and a plastic seal bag. He used the swab, extract the saliva, put it into the seal bag than grabbed the boy’s arm and say “Let’s go to the police station and see what they have to say” In China. Most of adult, especially parents, avoid to have argument with kids, directly. We always say things like that “There's no need to treat children as equals in conflicts,” much less the policeman. I still can’t tell if the father was only to freak him out so he would never dare to get close to his car. He looks extremely serious. As for what happened afterward—perhaps that was why the family eventually left.
我以前住的小区里曾经住着一个美国移民家庭，一对父母带着他们的儿子。小男孩能说一口流利的中文，有一点点口音；他的父母也能说点。那时，有一个外国玩伴是相当罕见的事情。
他告诉我们那群经常一起玩的孩子可以叫他 [tɕʰŷn]。我并不知道这个名字该怎么用英文或中文写出来，我只是知道发音，在我自己的版本里，我把它拼成 “Chwen”。
等我大概上了五年级之后，就再也没有见过他和他的家人了。如今再想起来，我甚至不太确定，那时候我有没有对一个童年玩伴的突然消失感到过奇怪。我已经记不清他是什么时候出现在我们的生活里的，又是在什么时候离开的。他是回到了美国，还是搬去了中国的另一座城市？我完全不知道。
我还记得有关他的一两件事情，这些经历让我让我第一次真切地意识到我与美国人之间的不同。
第一件给我带来冲击的是他们如何庆祝圣诞节和万圣节。他们真的在这些节日上投入了大量的时间和精力。有一年平安夜，他给我们看了一张他卧室的照片。照片里，他的房间完全被装饰成了蜘蛛侠主题：床上是蜘蛛侠，墙纸上是蜘蛛侠，房间里几乎到处都是蜘蛛侠。他告诉我们，最酷的部分在床底下——“全都是蜘蛛侠的礼物”。不过他并没有给我们看具体的礼物照片，我只能大概去想象。 相比之下，中国家庭很少这样做。大多数中产阶级或更普通的家庭，通常只会在生日，或者作为学习成绩好的奖励时才送礼物。中国孩子在成长过程中，最常从父母那里听到的一句话之一就是：“如果你下次考试考得好，就给你买……”我是在六年级的时候，因为一次科学考试在班里排了第五名，得到了人生中的第一台笔记本电脑。不过春节的时候我们的亲戚会直接塞给我们钱让我们想买什么买什么，所以其实还挺公平的。
第二件事，则和对警察的理解有关。某个普通的日子里，我的几个朋友叫我跟他们一起去看一个恶作剧。一个调皮的孩子朝 Chwen 爸爸的车吐了口水。有些孩子并不喜欢他的父亲，理由不清楚——我想也许只是出于一种无意识的好奇。
恶作剧完成后，那些孩子显得异常兴奋。但没过几分钟，Chwen 的父亲就来了，手里拿着一根棉签和一个塑料证物袋。他用棉签取了车上的唾液，把棉签放进袋子里，然后抓住那个孩子的手臂，说：“我们去警察局看看他们会怎么说。”
在中国，大多数成年人——尤其是有孩子的父母——都会避免直接和孩子发生冲突。我们常说“没必要和孩子计较”，更不用说把警察牵扯进来了。直到现在，我也无法确定，那位父亲是否只是想吓唬那个孩子，让他以后再也不敢靠近自己的车。他当时看起来非常严肃。至于后来发生了什么——也许，这正是他们一家最终离开的原因。
Spider man printed on his bed, on the wallpaper, spider man on everywhereeverything in his room.
His parents wasn'tweren't that good but they were OK.
He told us—— - the group of kids who played together——His - that his name iswas [tɕʰŷn]
It's not typical to use the phonetic alphabet in English. I had to Google the meaning. In the future if you want to spell out an unknown word in English, it's better to just use the Latin alphabet.
(I really don't know how to spell his name, either in English or Chinese,.
Though herebut this is how we pronouncepronounced it).
We never saw him and his family again around the timeafter we entered fifth grade.
When I look back at those memories, I’m not even sure whether I had ever felt anyanything strange about athe disappearance of one of my childhood playmateplaymates.
When did he show up and when did he leavesleave.
IsDid he go back to the US?
Or movingdid he move to another city in China?
I have no ideasidea.
Moments that revealed a pagesome of the differences between Chinese and UsAmerican people.
The first things that shocks me is how they celebrate the Christmas and Halloween.
No "the" needed before Christmas.
One Christmas eve.Eve,
This is not a full sentence.
Hehe showed us a picture on his phone of his bedroom.
In the picture, his room was decorated entirely with a spider manSpider-Man theme.
Spider man-Man printed on his bed, on the wallpaper, spider manSpider-Man on everywhere in his room.
He told us the coolest part was what lay under his bed “full of spider manSpider-Man present”
I'm not 100% sure what you mean by Spider-Man present? Like under his bed was packed with Spider-Man themed gifts?
So I could only imagine.
Most middle class family or those below,families only give presents on birthdaybirthdays, or giving as a reward for academic performances.
The most thingscommon thing Chinese studentstudents hear growing up from their parents is: “If you get good ranking on next examination, you will get........”
I received my first laptop in six grade forbecause I ranked fifth atin a science examinationexam in my class.
But relatives would give children money at Spring Festival, so they cancould buy anything they want.
Quite fairI think this is actually quite fair.
The next things is about thething was their attitude toward police officerofficers.
A normalOne day some friends asked me to follow them to watch a prank.
SomeOne of the children disliked his father for no clear reason— -perhaps out of pure curiosity.
He disliked his father because he was curious? I'm not sure I understand your meaning here.
The kids were so excited when he had finished his prank, but merelyonly a few minutes later, Chewn’s father came out with a cotton swab and a plastic seal bag.
He used the swab, extractextracted the saliva, put it into the seal bag thanand then grabbed the boy’s arm and saysaid: “Let’s go to the police station and see what they have to say.”
In China,.
This is not a sentence, so use a comma and not a period/full stop.
Most of adultadults, especially parents, avoid to have argumenthaving any direct arguments with kids, directly.
He lookslooked extremely serious.
Past tense, since you're telling a story from your past.
Overall feedback
He was not serious. No normal person would actually involve the police in that sort of thing in any Western country. He said it to scare the kid into behaving. And this is definitely not a common parenting strategy either. Also good work!
Thanks！ Some naughty kids tend to play tricks on adults because they know that adults who are not their parents will not really punish them. As a result, they become more and more naughty by running away again and again after each prank. Out of curiosity, they may wonder whether pranking a foreigner would be any different. This is what I tried tto express.
But the@yanway, this explanation makes me think that their curiosity was to see what he would do, not because they disliked him. It's really interesting background knowledge, but if you didn't want to include it in the story, you cold separate the statements: "One of the children disliked Chwen's father for no clear reason. He planned to prank him out of pure curiosity, to see if he could get away with it" or "to see how this foreigner would react."
Sorry for the typos: it should read: @yanway, this explanation makes me think that their curiosity was to see what he would do, not because they disliked him. It's really interesting background knowledge, but if you didn't want to include it in the story, you could separate the statements: "One of the children disliked Chwen's father for no clear reason. He planned to prank him out of pure curiosity, to see if he could get away with it" or "to see how this foreigner would react."
There was an American immigrant family living in my community, consisting of a parentscouple and their son.
You could also say a boy and his parents, a boy with his mother and father, etc.
Their son could speak fluent Chinese with slightlya slight accent.
His parents wasn'tweren't that good, but OK they were ok.
When I look back at those memories, I’m not even sure whether I had ever felt any strange about athe disappearance of one of my childhood playmateplaymates.
When did he show up and when did he leavesleave.
IsDid he go back to the US?
Is he back to the US now? You could also say
Or movingdid he move to another city in China?
I have no ideasidea.
Moments that revealed a pageton of differences between Chinese and Usthe US.
The first things that shocksshocked me is how they celebrate the Christmas and Halloween.
Spider man printed on his bed, on the wallpaper, spider man on everywhere in his room.
He told us the coolest part was what laythat under his bed was “full of spider man presentpresents”
In contrast, Chinese parents don't often do such oftena thing.
Most middle class family or those below, only give presents on their birthday, or givinggive them as a reward for academic performances.
The most things Chinese student hear growing up from their parents is “If you get good rankinggrades on your next examinationexam, you will get........”
A suggestion which may make it sound more natural
I receivedgot my first laptop in sixsixth grade forbecause I ranked fifth at a science examination in my class.
But relatives would give children money atduring Spring Festival, so they can buy anything they want.
The next thingsthing is about the attitude towardtowards police officerofficers.
AOn a normal day some friends asked me to follow them to watch a prank.
A naughty kidskid spat on Chwen's father's car.
He used the swab, extractextracted the saliva, put it into the sealsealed bag, than then grabbed the boy’s arm and saysaid “Let’s go to the police station and see what they have to say”
Most of adultadults, especially parents, avoidtend to haveavoid having an argument with kids, directly.
I still can’t tell if the father was only trying to freak him out so he would never dare to get close to his car again.
He lookslooked extremely serious.
Overall feedback
Very good job, a complicated story that you told well. Going to the police in that situation definitely sounds a touch extreme!
Thanks! It seems that almost every naughty child has been told to behave, or the adults would call the police. He may only be trying to scare the child, which makes sense.
There was an American immigrant family living in my community, consisting of a parentsboy and their sonhis parents.
"a" is for singular nouns. I changed a few things to make the sentence sound more natural.
Their son could speak fluent Chinese with slightlya slight accent.
"slightly" is an adverb, so it modifies a verb. "Slight" is an adjective, so it modifies a noun.
His parents wasn'tweren't that good but OK.
"wasn't" = was not = singular= used for he, she, it This sentence is understandable, but maybe someone else has a suggestion to improve "but OK."
He told us——the group of kids who played together——His name iswas [tɕʰŷn]
This happened in the past. Unless you are quoting him (for example: He told us, "My name is Chwen.") the verbs about that time should refer to the past.
Though hereThat is how we pronounce it.)
You would use "that" to refer back to [tɕʰŷn].
In my own version, it’sit would be CHWEN.
"it's" = it is, and "it is would" which is incorrect
WeAround the time we entered fifth grade, they disappeared, and we never saw him and his family again. They disappeared around the time we entered fifth grade, and we never saw him and his family again.
It is tricky to fit "never again" and "around the time" in the same sentence. I added "disappeared" to link the two times.
When I look back at those memories, I’m not even sure whether I had ever felt any strangeness /anything was strange about athe disappearance of one of my childhood playmateplaymates.
"I felt anything strange" is a more natural way to say this, but "any strangeness" is fine too. "Strange" is an adjective, and you need a noun in that place in the sentence.
When did he show up and when did he leaves.leave?
If you begin the sentence with "When" it is a question.
IsDid he go back to the US?
"Is he back in US?" This is what you would say if you are wondering where he is now, as you are writing. If you are telling us what you wondered back then, you would keep it in the past "Did he go back to the US?" I'm guessing this is what you are doing because of the next sentence, which seems more clearly to be about what you thought at the time.
Or movingmove to another city in China?
Strictly speaking this should be "Or did he move" but this is not a grammar textbook, and the way you wrote it reflects your thoughts as they came to you.
I have no ideasidea.
The idiom is "I have no idea."
Moments that revealed a pageworld of differencesdifference between ChineseChina and Usthe US.
"A page of differences" is a completely new expression to me. Maybe you invented it. A common phrase would be "a world of difference" or simply "major differences." We can compare people (Chinese and Americans) or countries. I think countries works here because these are cultural differences and there may be variations among people. For example, not all people living in the US celebrate Christmas or Halloween.
The first thingsthing that shocksshocked me is how they celebrate the Christmas and Halloween in the US.
thing > is things > are past tense because this is when you felt the shock
They really investedinvest lots of energy and time in it.
Use the present tense because this is a generalization. It was true then and is true now.
One Christmas eve.Eve,
This is not a sentence, so I attached it to the next sentence.
Hehe showed us a picture on his phone of his bedroom.
In the picture, his room was decorated entirely with a spider manSpider-Man theme.
Spider man-Man printed on his bed, on the wallpaper;, spider man on Spider-Man everywhere in his room.
He told us the coolest part was what lay under his bed “full of spider man presentSpider-Man presents”
In contrast, Chinese parents don't do such things often .
"don't do as much as often" might also work.
Most middle class family or those below,working class families only give presents on birthdaybirthdays, or givingthey give them as a reward for academic performancesperformance.
We have different words to label people who are below middle class. We also have "lower income" and "poor" for example. I'm not sure what fits best in this context.
The most thingsWhen Chinese student hearchildren are growing up, the most frequent thing they hear from their parents is, “If you get a good ranking on next examination, you will get........”
I received my first laptop in sixsixth grade forbecause I ranked fifth aton a science examination in my class.
But relatives would give children money at Spring Festival, so they can buy anything they want.
Use the present tense for a general statement. It was true then, and it is true now.
The next thingsdifference between China and the US is about the attitude toward police officerofficers.
It has been a long time since you began to describe the differences, so it might be good to remind your readers.
AOne normal day some friends asked me to follow them to watch a prank.
Stories in English often begin with the words "One day..."
A naughty kidskid spat on Chwen's father's car.
"A" means one kid.
Some children disliked his father for no clear reason—perhaps out of pure curiosity.
No change suggested
I'm not sure that it makes sense to dislike someone because we are curious about them, because being curious about someone shows you are interested in learning about them. A more common explanation is to say that people dislike people who are different from them.
The kids were so excited when he had finished his prank, but merelyjust a few minutes later, Chewn’sChwen’s father came with a cotton swab and a resealable plastic seal bag.
Ziplock is a brand name in the US. I would say "a Ziplock bag" but "resealable" is used in the UK, and it's understandable by all.
He used the swab, extract to wipe up the saliva, put it into the sealresealable bag, than then grabbed the boy’s arm and saysaid, “Let’s go to the police station and see what they have to say.”
"extract" is to take (the liquid) out of something. "Wipe off" is to remove (the liquid) by absorbing it into something like a sponge, cloth, or cotton swab. (can refer to a few other substances besides a liquid)
In China,.
Adding this beginning to the next sentence.
Most of adultmost adults, especially parents, avoid to have argumenthaving arguments with kids, directly.
We always say things like, that “There's no need to treat children as equals in conflicts,” much less thea policeman.
This is a major cultural difference I did not know about!
I still can’t tell if the father was only trying to freak him out, so he would never dare to get close to his car again.
"I still don't know" also works. "was only intending to" also works or without "was" --"only intended to" or "only meant to"
He lookslooked extremely serious.
Overall feedback
Wow! What a great story from beginning to the final sentence! Really well written, with a lot of natural sounding English! Check singular versus plural and verb tenses when you review or edit your work, and you will probably make many of these types of corrections yourself. Great job and thank you for sharing.
They are detailed and thorough🥲 Thanks a lot. I think I need to take some time to digest all this content. I think there is a point that I didn't explain clearly before, which may cause misunderstandings and needs to be clarified. I would like to place "There's no need to treat children as equals in conflicts " into a specific situation. If a kid damages something valuable and his parents don't want to compensate the owner, they may use the phrase to escape from their responsibility. However, if the owner himself doesn't want compensation but the parents insist to compensate for it. Then the owner may tell them "There’s no need to argue with a child."
The topic of how parents interact with children has always interested me. As I child, I only saw it from the viewpoint of my parents vs the parents of other children, so I thought it depended on individual adults. Over time I learned that cultural heritage, economic status, and education level can also be factors. Interaction includes everything from expectations (your laptop), to discipline, to teaching. When we are confronted with differences, it makes us aware that there are many different beliefs and behaviors.
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