June 1, 2021
Day One
When I was a child, I wanted to be a firefighter or a banker as far as I remember. I've admired firefighters because they bravely confront fire to save people. However, I gave up being a firefighter when I was in elementary school. It was because I was not good at physical education and sports. I was born in February and shorter than average as a kid.
I don't remember why I wanted to be a banker exactly. I guess I thought bankers can use money as they want. I might have been affected by a popular TV drama that theme was a bank.
Correction Settings
Day One
When I was a child, I wanted to be a firefighter or a banker as far as I remember.
I've admired firefighters because they bravely confront fire to save people.
However, I gave up beingon wanting to be a firefighter when I was in elementary school.
However, I gave up on wanting to be a firefighter when I was in elementary school.
It was because I was not good at physical education and sports.
It was because I was not good at physical education.
Physical education and sports are kind of the same thing, no? That's why you only have to mention one of the two.
Also, I think it would sound better if you combine this sentence with the sentence before:
"However, I gave up on wanting to be a firefighter when I was in elementary school because I was not good at physical education."
I was born in February and shorter than average as a kid.
I don't remember why I wanted to be a banker exactly.
I guess I thought bankers can use money as they want.
I might have been affectinspired by a popular TV drama that theme waswhich took place at a bank.
I might have been inspired by a popular TV drama which took place at a bank.
I wasn't sure what you meant by "...a popular TV drama that theme was a bank". So, I changed it to "... a popular TV drama which took place at a bank", which means the setting (the location) of the show was at a bank. I'm not sure if that is what you meant though!
Feedback
Great journal!
June 2, 2021
Thank you so much!
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Day One This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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When I was a child, I wanted to be a firefighter or a banker as far as I remember. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I've admired firefighters because they bravely confront fire to save people. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, I gave up being a firefighter when I was in elementary school.
However, I gave up |
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It was because I was not good at physical education and sports.
It was because I was not good at physical education Physical education and sports are kind of the same thing, no? That's why you only have to mention one of the two. Also, I think it would sound better if you combine this sentence with the sentence before: "However, I gave up on wanting to be a firefighter when I was in elementary school because I was not good at physical education." |
|
I was born in February and shorter than average as a kid. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I don't remember why I wanted to be a banker exactly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I guess I thought bankers can use money as they want. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I might have been affected by a popular TV drama that theme was a bank.
I might have been I wasn't sure what you meant by "...a popular TV drama that theme was a bank". So, I changed it to "... a popular TV drama which took place at a bank", which means the setting (the location) of the show was at a bank. I'm not sure if that is what you meant though! |
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