Although 35 years have passed, sometimes I could still dream of him. Although 35 years have passed, sometimes I still dream of him.

My father was tall, thin, and didn't have a stronghad a weak body. My father was tall, thin, and had a weak body.

Remember your commas before 'and' at the end of a list It's more common and more of a collocation to say 'weak body', rolls off the tongue better than 'didn't have a strong body'

On the contrary, hHe often felt ill and took Chinese medicine. He often felt ill and took Chinese medicine.

On the contrary - this means to go against something you said before, you described your father as 'not being stronger' which also implies that he may get ill so they are not such opposing ideas or opposites so I would remove it

He worked in my local township government, so he was not at home every day, but he did gocome home often. He worked in my local township government, so he was not home every day, but he did come home often.

I am guessing that you lived with your father so it would be better to say 'come' home instead, as in you were a child waiting for him

As far as I can remember, every time he rode his bike home, there would be a small bag that was made of his handkerchief hanging under the left handle bar of his bike and i. Inside the bag, there must bewere always some small black -cube sweets. As far as I can remember, every time he rode his bike home, there would be a small bag that was made of his handkerchief hanging under the left handlebar of his bike. Inside the bag, there were always some small black-cube sweets.

I would clarify immediately that it was a bicycle/bike that he rode home, not to confuse the reader because you can ride things like a bus too. Handlebar is one word, not two The sentence had too many clauses and was getting a bit too long so I broke it up

In the fifth year after he retired, he wasgot ill. In the fifth year after he retired, he got ill.

In the autumn of that year, my oldest brother asked him to go to Shanghai to do a comprehensive physical test and it turned out that he had liver cancer. In the autumn of that year, my oldest brother asked him to go to Shanghai to do a comprehensive physical test and it turned out that he had liver cancer.

I would put more emphasis on him having cancer, as this is an important revilation

That was the first time I experienced the heartbreak of my family's lossa loss of a family member. That was the first time I experienced the heartbreak of a loss of a family member.

'my family's loss' makes it seem like you are suffering heartbreak through pain and empathy of your family member's grief only, not your own. So I changed it slightly

He looked only a bit older than before, but I just didn't know where he was living and it was very hard to get in contact with him. He looked only a bit older than before, but I just didn't know where he was living and it was very hard to get in contact with him.