dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 21, 2022

0
My terrible story

For 3 years I walked down a dark street. Strange things have happened in the street before and that's why I was afraid. The first time I went alone I only heard the barking of dogs, but the second time I went I heard some creepy creaking and I got scared. I hoped that I was just imagining and while I was thinking about it as if I saw the shadow of an older man ... I thought I was just imagining but suddenly I met him face to face and my heart started beating fast and I screamed to myself. He looked at me and asked "Are you afraid?" I was silent. And she tried to pass him but he wouldn't let me. He left, but there was still an eerie squeak, I started running and I said out loud to myself, everything is fine, nothing will happen to you. I thought I saw a light and I said to myself too, but it was the light of the same old man's bicycle. I wondered to myself, God, will you help me? He looked at me again and said “we are destined” I shuddered. And she turned and went on her way. Suddenly the dogs barked and I turned to see where they were, but we didn't see them. I reached the end of the street and I met again ...

Corrections

My terrible story

For 3 years, I walked down a dark street.

Strange things have happened in the street before and that's why, so I was afraid.

"That's why" sounds like we already knew you were afraid. "So" sounds like new information.

The first time I went alone, I only heard the barking of dogs, but the second time I went, I heard some creepy creaking and I got scared.

I hoped that I was just imagining and while I was thinking about it as if I saw the shadow of an older man ...

The meaning here is unclear.

I thought I was just imagining butit, but then suddenly I met him face to face and m. My heart started beating fast, and I screamed to myself.

This sentence is a bit too long. Also, instead of "suddenly I met him face to face," you could use "suddenly he was right in front of me"?

He looked at me and asked, "Are you afraid?"

I was silent.

And sheI tried to pass him, but he wouldn't let me.

He left, but there was still an eerie squeak,. I started running and I said out loud to myself, e"Everything is fine, nothing will happen to you."

I thought I saw a light and I said to myself too, but it was the light of the same old man's bicycle.

What do you mean by "said to myself too"?

I wondered to myself, "God, will you help me?"

He looked at me again and said,wWe are destined.” I shuddered.

And she turned and went on her way.

Who is "she"?

Suddenly, the dogs barked and. I turned to see where they were, but we didn't see them.

I reached the end of the street and I met again ...

Met who?

Feedback

Hope this helps!

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 21, 2022

0

I hoped that I was just imagining and while I was thinking about it as if I saw the shadow of an older man ...

I hoped that I was just imagining and while I was thinking about it, it seemed to me as if I saw the shadow of and older man. Does it make sense now?

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 21, 2022

0

Thank you for taking your time

petfriendamy's avatar
petfriendamy

March 22, 2022

0

That is more clear, yes!

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 22, 2022

0

And she turned and went on her way.

It was supposed to be written ''he''. Sorry

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 22, 2022

0

I reached the end of the street and I met again ...

met this person again

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 23, 2022

0

Thank you

My terrible story


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

For 3 years I walked down a dark street.


For 3 years, I walked down a dark street.

Strange things have happened in the street before and that's why I was afraid.


Strange things have happened in the street before and that's why, so I was afraid.

"That's why" sounds like we already knew you were afraid. "So" sounds like new information.

The first time I went alone I only heard the barking of dogs, but the second time I went I heard some creepy creaking and I got scared.


The first time I went alone, I only heard the barking of dogs, but the second time I went, I heard some creepy creaking and I got scared.

I hoped that I was just imagining and while I was thinking about it as if I saw the shadow of an older man ...


I hoped that I was just imagining and while I was thinking about it as if I saw the shadow of an older man ...

The meaning here is unclear.

I thought I was just imagining but suddenly I met him face to face and my heart started beating fast and I screamed to myself.


I thought I was just imagining butit, but then suddenly I met him face to face and m. My heart started beating fast, and I screamed to myself.

This sentence is a bit too long. Also, instead of "suddenly I met him face to face," you could use "suddenly he was right in front of me"?

He looked at me and asked "Are you afraid?"


He looked at me and asked, "Are you afraid?"

I was silent.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And she tried to pass him but he wouldn't let me.


And sheI tried to pass him, but he wouldn't let me.

He left, but there was still an eerie squeak, I started running and I said out loud to myself, everything is fine, nothing will happen to you.


He left, but there was still an eerie squeak,. I started running and I said out loud to myself, e"Everything is fine, nothing will happen to you."

I thought I saw a light and I said to myself too, but it was the light of the same old man's bicycle.


I thought I saw a light and I said to myself too, but it was the light of the same old man's bicycle.

What do you mean by "said to myself too"?

I wondered to myself, God, will you help me?


I wondered to myself, "God, will you help me?"

He looked at me again and said “we are destined” I shuddered.


He looked at me again and said,wWe are destined.” I shuddered.

And she turned and went on her way.


And she turned and went on her way.

Who is "she"?

Suddenly the dogs barked and I turned to see where they were, but we didn't see them.


Suddenly, the dogs barked and. I turned to see where they were, but we didn't see them.

I reached the end of the street and I met again ...


I reached the end of the street and I met again ...

Met who?

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