Jack's avatar
Jack

Feb. 13, 2023

0
My Second Car

My second car

In 2014, my son ended a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city. He was in his twenties back then. According to Chinese tradition, that age was supposed to find a girlfriend. In order to find a girlfriend early for him, I gave the Passat to him, therefore I didn't have a car to drive.

Suddenly, the fact that I didn't have a car to drive made it very inconvenient for me in my daily life. I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhere by walking. I realized that just one car was not enough for my family, so I was planning to buy another car.

This time, I wanted to buy an SUV. An SUV could go anywhere because it had a large clearance from the ground. The first SUV model that came to my mind was Tiguan because its sales volume had been the first in my country for several consecutive years.

After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me and she told me that we should buy an expensive one. I was like "maybe we can buy an Audi A 6?" She still denied my idea. She was like "we should buy a class d car, such as Audi A 8, Mercedes benz s, or BMW 7 Series." I was shocked by her idea. After all, we were not rich people.

I started to look for information on the internet about these three car models, such as their looks, prices and configurations.

After a lot of work on estimating, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

I inquired about its price from many BMW 4 s stores in big domestic cities, and Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 s store offered me the cheapest price.

In November 2015, my second older brother, my son and I went to Beijing to buy it. The BMW official offer was 1038000 RMB, but the store cut it 26 percent for me. Together with other fees, I paid more than 800000 RMB for this car.

Beijing was so big, we spent about an hour driving away from it. My second older brother and my son took turns driving the car. Beijing was more than 800 kilometers away from my city. We started to drive home that afternoon and arrived home the next morning. Of course, we rested in a hotel half way home that night.

Corrections

My Second Car

My second car

In 2014, my son ended a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city.

He was in his twenties back then.

According to Chinese tradition, that age wais is the age one is supposed to find a girlfriend.

In order to find a girlfriend early for him soon, I gave themy Passat to him, t. Therefore, I didn't have a car to drive.

SI suddenly, the fact that realized, I didn't have a car to drive. Not having a car made it very inconvenient for me in my daily life.

I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhere by walkingwalk to get somewhere.

This time, I wanted to buy an SUV.

An SUV could go anywhere, because it had a large clearance from the ground.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was Tiguan, because its sales volume had been the first in my country for several consecutive years.

After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me, and she told me that we should buy an expensive one.

I was likeTherefore, I suggested to her, "mMaybe we can buy an Audi A 6?"

She still denied my idea.

She was likeresponded, "wWe should buy a class d car, such as an Audi A 8, Mercedes bBenz s, or BMW 7 Series."

I was shocked by her idea.

After all, we were not rich people.

I started to look for information on the internet about these three car models, such as their looks, prices and configurations.

After a lot of work on estimatingresearch, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury, because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

I inquired about its price from many BMW 4 's stores in big domestic cities, and Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 's store offered me the cheapest price.

In November 2015, my second older brother, my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.

The BMW official offer was 1038000 RMB, but the store cut itgave me a 26 percent for mediscount.

Together with other fees, I paid more than 800000 RMB for this car.

Beijing was so big, we spent about an hour driving away from before we were out of the city.

My second older brother and my son took turns driving the car.

Beijing was more than 800 kilometers away from my city.

We started to drive home that afternoon and arrived home the next morning.

Of course, we rested in a hotel half way home that night.

Feedback

This is a very well written story! Most changes were some stylistic/rephrasing of what you wrote to make it a bit clearer.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Feb. 13, 2023

0

Thank you very much!

My Second Car

My second car

In 2014, my son ended a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city.

He was in his twenties back then.

According to Chinese tradition, that aghe was supposed to find a girlfriend at that age.

In order to find a girlfriend early for him, I gave the Passat to him, therefore, I didn't have a car to drive.

Suddenly, the fact that I didn't have a car to drive made it very inconvenient for me in my daily life.

I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhere by walkingon foot.

I realized that just one car was not enough for my family, so I was planning to buy another car.

This time, I wanted to buy an SUV.

An SUV could go anywhere because it had a large clearance fromabove the ground.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was Tiguan because its sales volume had been the firlargest in my country for several consecutive years.

After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me and she told meaid that we should buy an expensive one.

I was like, "mMaybe we can buy an Audi A 6?"

She still denivetoed my idea.

She was like, "wWe should buy a class dD car, such as an Audi A 8, Mercedes bBenz sW, or BMW 7 Series."

I was shocked by her idea.

After all, we were not rich people.

I started to look for information on the internet about these three car models, such as their looks, prices and configurations.

After a lot of work on the estimatinges, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury car because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

I inquired about its price from many BMW 4 sS stores in big domestic cities, and Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 sS store offered me the cheapest price.

In November 2015, my second older brother, my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.

The BMW official offer was 1,038,000 RMB, but the store cut it by 26 percent for me.

Together with other fees, I paid more than 800.000 RMB for this car.

Beijing was so big, that we spent about an hour driving away from it.

My second older brother and my son took turns driving the car.

Beijing was more than 800 kilometers away from my city.

We started to drive home that afternoon and arrived home the next morning.

Of course, we rested in a hotel half way home that night.

Feedback

Interesting story! Well done!

Jack's avatar
Jack

Feb. 13, 2023

0

Thank you very much.

My second car.

In 2014, my son ended(quit/retired from) a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city.

According to Chinese tradition, at that age, he was supposed to find a girlfriend.

In order to find a girlfriend early for him, I gave the Passat to him, thereforeso I didn't have a car to drive.

Suddenly, the fact that I didn't have a car to drive made itwas very inconvenient for me in my daily life.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was the Tiguan because its sales volume had been the first in my country for several consecutive years.

She was still deniedagainst my idea.

After a lot of work on estimating, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

In November 2015, me, my second oelderst brother, and my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.

If you have 2 older brothers and you were talking about the youngest of the two here, you'd say "second eldest brother."

If you have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, you'd just say "eldest brother"

The BMW official offer was 1038000 RMB, but the store cut it 26 percent for me.

TogetherAlong with other fees, I paid more than 800000 RMB for this car.

Beijing was so big, that we spent about an hour driving away from it.

My second oelderst brother and my son took turns driving the car.

If you have 2 older brothers and you were talking about the youngest of the two here, you'd say "second oldest/eldest brother."

If you have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, you'd just say "eldest brother"

Of course, we rested in a hotel half way from our home that night.

Feedback

Nice story! I'm not much of a car person, but I'm glad that you bought a seemingly good quality car.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Feb. 13, 2023

0

In November 2015, me, my second oelderst brother, and my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.

Thank you so much. “My second eldest brother. My eldest brother.“

Jack's avatar
Jack

Feb. 13, 2023

0

My second oelderst brother and my son took turns driving the car.

Thank you. That is very helpful.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Feb. 13, 2023

0

Thank you very much.

My Second Car

My sSecond cCar

In 2014, my son endfinished a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city.

He was in his twenties back then.

According to Chinese tradition, that aghe was supposed to find a girlfriend at that age.

In order to help him find a girlfriend early for himfaster, I gave the Passat to him,. I therefore I didn't have a car to drive.

Suddenly, the fact that I didn't have a car to drive made it very inconvenient for me in my daily lifethings in my daily life very inconvenient.

I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhereplaces by walking.

I realized that just one car was not enough for my family, so I was planninged to buy another car.

This time, I wanted to buy an SUV.

An SUV could go anywhere because it had a large clearance from the groundthey have high ground clearance.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was the Tiguan because its sales volume had been the first had the best sales in my country for several consecutive years.

After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me and s. She told me that we should buy an expensive onecar.

I was likesuggested, "mMaybe we can buy an Audi A 6?".

She still denied my ideasuggestion.

She was likesaid, "wWe should buy a class dD car, such as the Audi A 8, Mercedes bBenz sS, or BMW 7 Series."

I was shocked by her idea.

After all, we were not rich people.

I started to look for information on the internet about these three car models, such as their looks, prices and configurations.

After a lot of work on estimatingfiguring out the numbers, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

I made inquiredies about its price fromat many BMW 4 s storeS dealerships in big domestic cities, and the Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 sS store offered me the cheapest price.

In November 2015, my second olderst brother, my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.

The BMW official offer was 1,038,000 RMB, but the store cut it 26 percent for megave me a 26% discount.

Together with other fees, I paid more than 800,000 RMB for this car.

Beijing was so big, we spent about an hour driving away from out of the city.

My second olderst brother and my son took turns driving the car.

Beijing was more than 800 kilometers away from my city.

We started to drive home that afternoon and arrived home the next morning.

Of course, we rested in a hotel half way home that night.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Feb. 13, 2023

0

Thank you very much!

My Second Car


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My second car


My sSecond cCar

My second car.

My second car

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

In 2014, my son ended a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city.


In 2014, my son endfinished a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city.

In 2014, my son ended(quit/retired from) a job in Hangzhou and returned to my home city.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He was in his twenties back then.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

According to Chinese tradition, that age was supposed to find a girlfriend.


According to Chinese tradition, that aghe was supposed to find a girlfriend at that age.

According to Chinese tradition, at that age, he was supposed to find a girlfriend.

According to Chinese tradition, that aghe was supposed to find a girlfriend at that age.

According to Chinese tradition, that age wais is the age one is supposed to find a girlfriend.

In order to find a girlfriend early for him, I gave the Passat to him, therefore I didn't have a car to drive.


In order to help him find a girlfriend early for himfaster, I gave the Passat to him,. I therefore I didn't have a car to drive.

In order to find a girlfriend early for him, I gave the Passat to him, thereforeso I didn't have a car to drive.

In order to find a girlfriend early for him, I gave the Passat to him, therefore, I didn't have a car to drive.

In order to find a girlfriend early for him soon, I gave themy Passat to him, t. Therefore, I didn't have a car to drive.

Suddenly, the fact that I didn't have a car to drive made it very inconvenient for me in my daily life.


Suddenly, the fact that I didn't have a car to drive made it very inconvenient for me in my daily lifethings in my daily life very inconvenient.

Suddenly, the fact that I didn't have a car to drive made itwas very inconvenient for me in my daily life.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

SI suddenly, the fact that realized, I didn't have a car to drive. Not having a car made it very inconvenient for me in my daily life.

I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhere by walking.


I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhereplaces by walking.

I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhere by walkingon foot.

I could only ride an e-bike or go somewhere by walkingwalk to get somewhere.

I realized that just one car was not enough for my family, so I was planning to buy another car.


I realized that just one car was not enough for my family, so I was planninged to buy another car.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This time, I wanted to buy an SUV.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

An SUV could go anywhere because it had a large clearance from the ground.


An SUV could go anywhere because it had a large clearance from the groundthey have high ground clearance.

An SUV could go anywhere because it had a large clearance fromabove the ground.

An SUV could go anywhere, because it had a large clearance from the ground.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was Tiguan because its sales volume had been the first in my country for several consecutive years.


The first SUV model that came to my mind was the Tiguan because its sales volume had been the first had the best sales in my country for several consecutive years.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was the Tiguan because its sales volume had been the first in my country for several consecutive years.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was Tiguan because its sales volume had been the firlargest in my country for several consecutive years.

The first SUV model that came to my mind was Tiguan, because its sales volume had been the first in my country for several consecutive years.

After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me and she told me that we should buy an expensive one.


After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me and s. She told me that we should buy an expensive onecar.

After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me and she told meaid that we should buy an expensive one.

After I told my wife about my thoughts, she didn't agree with me, and she told me that we should buy an expensive one.

I was like "maybe we can buy an Audi A 6?"


I was likesuggested, "mMaybe we can buy an Audi A 6?".

I was like, "mMaybe we can buy an Audi A 6?"

I was likeTherefore, I suggested to her, "mMaybe we can buy an Audi A 6?"

She still denied my idea.


She still denied my ideasuggestion.

She was still deniedagainst my idea.

She still denivetoed my idea.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

She was like "we should buy a class d car, such as Audi A 8, Mercedes benz s, or BMW 7 Series."


She was likesaid, "wWe should buy a class dD car, such as the Audi A 8, Mercedes bBenz sS, or BMW 7 Series."

She was like, "wWe should buy a class dD car, such as an Audi A 8, Mercedes bBenz sW, or BMW 7 Series."

She was likeresponded, "wWe should buy a class d car, such as an Audi A 8, Mercedes bBenz s, or BMW 7 Series."

I was shocked by her idea.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After all, we were not rich people.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I started to look for information on the internet about these three car models, such as their looks, prices and configurations.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After a lot of work on estimating, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.


After a lot of work on estimatingfiguring out the numbers, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

After a lot of work on estimating, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

After a lot of work on the estimatinges, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury car because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

After a lot of work on estimatingresearch, I decided to buy a BMW 730 luxury, because it was the cheapest among the three car models with the same configuration.

I inquired about its price from many BMW 4 s stores in big domestic cities, and Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 s store offered me the cheapest price.


I made inquiredies about its price fromat many BMW 4 s storeS dealerships in big domestic cities, and the Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 sS store offered me the cheapest price.

I inquired about its price from many BMW 4 sS stores in big domestic cities, and Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 sS store offered me the cheapest price.

I inquired about its price from many BMW 4 's stores in big domestic cities, and Beijing Baocheng BMW 4 's store offered me the cheapest price.

In November 2015, my second older brother, my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.


In November 2015, my second olderst brother, my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.

In November 2015, me, my second oelderst brother, and my son and I went to Beijing to buy it.

If you have 2 older brothers and you were talking about the youngest of the two here, you'd say "second eldest brother." If you have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, you'd just say "eldest brother"

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The BMW official offer was 1038000 RMB, but the store cut it 26 percent for me.


The BMW official offer was 1,038,000 RMB, but the store cut it 26 percent for megave me a 26% discount.

The BMW official offer was 1038000 RMB, but the store cut it 26 percent for me.

The BMW official offer was 1,038,000 RMB, but the store cut it by 26 percent for me.

The BMW official offer was 1038000 RMB, but the store cut itgave me a 26 percent for mediscount.

Together with other fees, I paid more than 800000 RMB for this car.


Together with other fees, I paid more than 800,000 RMB for this car.

TogetherAlong with other fees, I paid more than 800000 RMB for this car.

Together with other fees, I paid more than 800.000 RMB for this car.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Beijing was so big, we spent about an hour driving away from it.


Beijing was so big, we spent about an hour driving away from out of the city.

Beijing was so big, that we spent about an hour driving away from it.

Beijing was so big, that we spent about an hour driving away from it.

Beijing was so big, we spent about an hour driving away from before we were out of the city.

My second older brother and my son took turns driving the car.


My second olderst brother and my son took turns driving the car.

My second oelderst brother and my son took turns driving the car.

If you have 2 older brothers and you were talking about the youngest of the two here, you'd say "second oldest/eldest brother." If you have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, you'd just say "eldest brother"

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Beijing was more than 800 kilometers away from my city.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

We started to drive home that afternoon and arrived home the next morning.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

We started to drive home that afternoon and arrived home the next morning.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Of course, we rested in a hotel half way home that night.


Of course, we rested in a hotel half way home that night.

Of course, we rested in a hotel half way from our home that night.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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