ABCD520's avatar
ABCD520

yesterday

1
My school life

I'm a normal student in China.Except sunday,every morning,we need to go to classroom from 宿舍 before 6:20am.And at 7:30am. ,we are allowed to have breakfast.But I always don't eat the food that the school make. I usually go to the school's shop to buy water and bread.After 10:10pm. , we will go back to 宿舍 to sleep.
So repeatedly.I usually feel tired.So I use mp3 to listen music 偷偷地.


我是中国的一名普通学生。除了周日,每天早上,我们都需要在早上6:20之前从宿舍去教室,早上7:30。 ,我们可以吃早餐。但是我总是不吃学校做的食物。 我通常去学校的商店买水和面包。晚上10点10分以后。 ,我们就回宿舍睡觉了。
如此反复。我经常感到疲惫。所以我会偷偷用mp3听音乐。

Corrections

My school life

I'm a normal student in China.

{Except sSunday, every morning, | Every morning except Sunday,} we need to go to our classroom from 宿舍our dormitory before 6:20am.

早上6:30以前到教室,还是早上6:30以前离开宿舍?

And at 7:30am. , we are allowed to have breakfast.

But I always don'tnever eat the food that the school makes.

I usually go to the school's shop to buy water and bread.

After 10:10pm. , we will go back to 宿舍the dorm to sleep.

So repeatedlWe do this repeatedly, day after day.

I usually feel tired.

So I use an mp3 player to listen to music 偷偷地.secretly.

ABCD520's avatar
ABCD520

today

1

thanks for your revised too

Except sunday,everevery Sunday morning, we need to go to our classroom from 宿舍the dormitory before 6:20 am.

Every Monday morning is clearer because it acknowledges that this happens every single Sunday. Articles are required before the nouns 'classroom' and 'dormitory' (a place where students go to sleep at night when on the school campus).

AndThen, at 7:30 am. , we are allowed to have breakfast.

Adding 'then' is not required, but it helps the two sentences flow more smoothly. Also, it is not needed to place a period after '7:30 am', even though that is common with many English abbreviations (shortened phrases).

But I always don'tnever eat the food that the school makes.

The meaning of this sentence is a little bit unclear. If you meant that you don't ever eat the school food, you say 'never'. On the other hand, if you mean that you only occasionally eat the school food, you would say 'I don't always eat...'

Aftert 10:10 pm. , we will go back to 宿舍the dormitory to sleep.

Same punctuation correction. Additionally, the future tense (we will go) is not needed because your paragraph is describing something in a routine, that keeps happening.

So repeatedlyIt's very repetitive, and I usually feel tired.

Use 'repetitive' to describe something that keeps happening (and that is perhaps a bit boring)

I usually feel tired.

So I use mp3metimes, I use my MP3 player to listen to music 偷偷地.secretly!

Just one minor vocabulary change: MP3 player over MP3, since MP3 is the type of digital file, and MP3 player is the device on which you are listening to music.

Feedback

There are a couple of small vocabulary and grammar things that could be fixed, but other than that, it is quite easy to interpret the meaning of your paragraph! I would suggest learning English punctuation rules, as some of them are a bit different from Chinese.

You've done a great job: keep up the good work!

ABCD520's avatar
ABCD520

today

1

thanks for your revise

My school life


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I'm a normal student in China.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Except sunday,every morning,we need to go to classroom from 宿舍 before 6:20am.


Except sunday,everevery Sunday morning, we need to go to our classroom from 宿舍the dormitory before 6:20 am.

Every Monday morning is clearer because it acknowledges that this happens every single Sunday. Articles are required before the nouns 'classroom' and 'dormitory' (a place where students go to sleep at night when on the school campus).

{Except sSunday, every morning, | Every morning except Sunday,} we need to go to our classroom from 宿舍our dormitory before 6:20am.

早上6:30以前到教室,还是早上6:30以前离开宿舍?

And at 7:30am. ,we are allowed to have breakfast.


AndThen, at 7:30 am. , we are allowed to have breakfast.

Adding 'then' is not required, but it helps the two sentences flow more smoothly. Also, it is not needed to place a period after '7:30 am', even though that is common with many English abbreviations (shortened phrases).

And at 7:30am. , we are allowed to have breakfast.

But I always don't eat the food that the school make.


But I always don'tnever eat the food that the school makes.

The meaning of this sentence is a little bit unclear. If you meant that you don't ever eat the school food, you say 'never'. On the other hand, if you mean that you only occasionally eat the school food, you would say 'I don't always eat...'

But I always don'tnever eat the food that the school makes.

I usually go to the school's shop to buy water and bread.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After 10:10pm. , we will go back to 宿舍 to sleep.


Aftert 10:10 pm. , we will go back to 宿舍the dormitory to sleep.

Same punctuation correction. Additionally, the future tense (we will go) is not needed because your paragraph is describing something in a routine, that keeps happening.

After 10:10pm. , we will go back to 宿舍the dorm to sleep.

So repeatedly.


So repeatedlyIt's very repetitive, and I usually feel tired.

Use 'repetitive' to describe something that keeps happening (and that is perhaps a bit boring)

So repeatedlWe do this repeatedly, day after day.

I usually feel tired.


I usually feel tired.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

So I use mp3 to listen music 偷偷地.


So I use mp3metimes, I use my MP3 player to listen to music 偷偷地.secretly!

Just one minor vocabulary change: MP3 player over MP3, since MP3 is the type of digital file, and MP3 player is the device on which you are listening to music.

So I use an mp3 player to listen to music 偷偷地.secretly.

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