Dec. 17, 2022
My Poetry
I just finished writing this poem. It's a choka poem an ancient Japanese poetry form which now is no longer written. I think that I would like to write my poems in a blog, I think It could be fun.
In spring my love for you
It's colorful like flowers
So I can combine
With all your beautiful clothes
In summer my love
It's fresh like a lemonade
Which could refresh you
And dry the sweat of your head
In autumn my love
Will scare all your bad memories
Like a scarecrow
My love for you in winter
It's like fire embers
So I can heat your fingers
When they're red with cold
The love that I feel for you
In the four seasons
It doesn't change for anything
Then, can we stay together?
My Poetry
I just finished writing this poem.
It's a choka poem, an ancient Japanese poetry form which now is no longer writtenused.
悲しい！
I think that I would like to writepost my poems into a blog,. I think It could be fun.
In spring my love for you
It's colorful like flowers
So I can combine it
With all your beautiful clothes
In summer my love
It's fresh like a lemonade
Which could refresh you
And dry the sweat off your head
In autumn my love
WiI'll scare all your bad memories
Like a scarecrow
My love for you in winter
It's like fire embers
So I can heat your fingers
When they're red with cold
The love that I feel for you
In the four seasons
It dDoesn't change for anything
Then, can we stay together?
Feedback
きれい！上手に書けています！
Dec. 19, 2022
ありがとうございます！！: )
My Poetry
I just finished writing this poem.
It's a choka poem, which is an ancient Japanese poetry form which now is no longer written.
I think that I would like to writepost my poems ion a blog,. I think Iit could be fun.
In spring, my love for you
It's colorful like flowers
So I can combine it
The verb "combine" needs a direct object
With all your beautiful clothes
In summer, my love
It's fresh like a lemonade
Which could refresh you
And dry the sweat ofn your headbrow
"Brow" sounds a little more poetic here in English than "head" does. If you want to keep "head", you still have to change "of" to "on".
In autumn, my love
Will scare away all your bad memories
Like a scarecrow
It's like fire embers
So I can heat your fingers
When they're red with cold
The love that I feel for you
In the four seasons
It doesn't change for anything
I didn't change anything, but I wanted to make a note about this one. Removing "it" at the beginning of this line would make it flow a little better, but keeping it really helps emphasize the unchanging love. It's a personal choice whether or not you want to keep "it" or not.
ThenSo, can we stay together?
Dec. 18, 2022
Muchas gracias por todas tus correcciones
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Like a scarecrow This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My love for you in winter This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's like fire embers I I |
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My Poetry This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I just finish writing this poem. |
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It's a choka poem an ancient Japanese poetry form which now is no longer written. It's a choka poem, which is an ancient Japanese poetry form It's a choka poem, an ancient Japanese poetry form which now is no longer 悲しい！ |
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I think that I would like to write my poems in a blog, I think It could be fun. I think that I would like to I think that I would like to |
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In spring my love for you In spring, my love for you This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's colorful like flowers I I |
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So I can combine So I can combine it The verb "combine" needs a direct object So I can combine it |
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With all your beautiful clothes This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In summer my love In summer, my love This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's fresh like a lemonade I I |
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Which could refresh you This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And dry the sweat of your head And dry the sweat o "Brow" sounds a little more poetic here in English than "head" does. If you want to keep "head", you still have to change "of" to "on". And dry the sweat off your head |
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In autumn my love In autumn, my love This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Will scare all your bad memories Will scare away all your bad memories
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So I can heat your fingers This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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When they're red with cold This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The love that I feel for you This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In the four seasons This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It doesn't change for anything It doesn't change for anything I didn't change anything, but I wanted to make a note about this one. Removing "it" at the beginning of this line would make it flow a little better, but keeping it really helps emphasize the unchanging love. It's a personal choice whether or not you want to keep "it" or not.
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Then, can we stay together?
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I just finished writing this poem. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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