Nero's avatar
Nero

June 19, 2022

16
My Plans for the Future

I want to move to the US for a while.

As a kid, I used to be smarter than the average, but I was lazy. Everyone told me that I need to study, yet no one told me how. So, I did. I studied things that I enjoyed like coding and English. But I never did my best at school, and I regret it.

Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yet I missed the opportunity to learn a lot. I believe that the educational system is failed. However, after meeting some virtuous people that changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn. That's why I want to go to college.

After school, I took a two year break to decide my next step. So, I choose to get a job. After a while, I landed a job at a multinational corporation. There I would meet brilliant people. They had several astonishing skills, and the way they saw the world was outstanding. Meeting them changed my life for the best.

I decided that I would not stay behind, so I started improving my skills. I had to step up my game: I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding. Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work in other projects. But I am still surrounded by smart folks, however I want more. I want be immerse in a highly emulous environment. I want be surrounded by the best.

If I want be surrounded by the best, I need to be between the best. And that's why, for the past months, I've been working hard. I've been learning my third language, working on my English, getting in shape, reading and studying. But I can do more.

I want to go to the US. Thanks to the feedback that I've been receiving in this site, I've learned a lot. Yet, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English. To achieve that, I started to save money. Hopefully, I'll be able to move in two years. After that, it would be marvelous to visit Germany.

I believe that in this journey, I'll stumble upon ingenious people. And maybe they'll change my life again.

Thank you for reading.


Edited:

* = notes for when reviewing in the future.

I want to move to the US for a while.

As a kid, I used to be smarter than average, but I was lazy. Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how. So, I did. I studied things that I enjoyed like coding and English. But, I never did my best at school, and I regret it.

Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yet I missed the opportunity to learn a lot. I believe that the education system is a failure. However, after meeting some virtuous people who (* that was miss used) changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn. That's why I want to go to college.

After school, I took a two year break to decide on (* decide on something) my next steps. So, I chose (* pay closer attention to conjugation) to get a job. After a while, I landed a job at a multinational corporation. I meet brilliant people there ( * KISS). They had astonishing skills, and the way they saw the world was outstanding. Meeting them changed my life for the better. (* change for the better)

I decided that I would not lag behind, so I started improving my skills. I had to step up my game: I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding. Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work on (* work in is for a company) other projects. But, I am still surrounded by smart folks, however I want more. I want to (* to be) be immersed in a highly emulous environment. I want be surrounded by the best.

If I want be surrounded by the best, I need to be between the best. That's why, for the past few months, I've been working hard; I've been learning my third language, working on my English, getting in shape, reading, and studying. But, I can do more.

I want to go to the US. Thanks to the feedback that I've been receiving in this site, I've learned a lot. That said, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English. To achieve that, I've started to save money (* started in the past and still on going). Hopefully, I'll be able to move in two years. After that, it would be marvelous to visit Germany.

I believe that on this journey (* in for a specific point), I'll stumble upon ingenious people. And, maybe they'll change my life again.

Thank you for reading.

englishfuturelanguage learningplansinglês
Corrections

My Plans for the Future

I want to move to the US for a while.

As a kid, I used to be smarter than then average, but I was lazy.

“The average” is also fine, but we more often say just “average”

Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how.

Not sure, but “but” may be better here. It’s more casual

So, I did.

I studied things that I enjoyed like coding and English.

But, I never did my best at school, and I regret it.

Note: if you’re writing casually, you can omit the comma, but I included it as a correction because it’s technically incorrect.

Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yebut I missed the opportunity to learn a lot.

“Yet” is more for unexpected things.

I believe that the educational system is faillawed.

You could also say “is a failure” or “has failed”

However, after meeting some virtuous people that changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn.

That's why I want to go to college.

After school, I took a two year break to decide what my next step would be.

So, I choose to get a job.

After a while, I landed a job at a multinational corporation.

There I would meet brilliant people.

They had several astonishing skills, and the way they saw the world was outstanding.

Meeting them changed my life for the bestter.

I decided that I would not stay behind, so I started improving my skills.

I had to step up my game:; I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding.

Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work ion other projects.

But, I am still surrounded by smart folks, h. However, I want more.

I want to be immersed in a highly emulous environment.

What do you mean by emulous? I’ve never seen that word before

I want to be surrounded by the best.

If I want to be surrounded by the best, I need to be betweenamong the best.

Between is for two things, among is for more than two.

And tThat's why, for the past months, I've been working hard.

I've been learning my third language, working on my English, getting in shape, reading, and studying.

The Oxford comma (comma before the “and” in a list) is standardly used to reduce confusion. It’s not required, but I would recommend it.

But, I can do more.

I want to go to the US.

Thanks to the feedback that I've been receiving in this site, I've learned a lot.

YetThat said, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English.

“Yet” isn’t exactly incorrect, but it doesn’t sound quite right. I’d say something like “that said”

To achieve that, I started to save money.

Hopefully, I'll be able to move in two years.

After that, it would be marvelous to visit Germany.

I believe that ion this journey, I'll stumble upon ingenious people.

And, maybe they'll change my life again.

Thank you for reading.

Feedback

Very good job! Good luck on getting to the US! I’m sure you’ll have a great time there. Although, personally, unless you’re going to like NYC or San Fran, I would rather go to the UK. They have miles better public transit and no large-scale gun violence issues.

Nero's avatar
Nero

June 20, 2022

16

Thank you a lot.

I'm looking forward to stay in a big city. Us is quite 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤, but at this point is easier to get shot than getting used to saying "colour" or "trousers".😅 But, I'll visit the UK at some point for sure. 😀

Nero's avatar
Nero

June 20, 2022

16

I want to be immersed in a highly emulous environment.

I meant extremely competitive. An ambient that forces you emulate the action of the others, so you won't lag behind.

lillian1998's avatar
lillian1998

June 20, 2022

0

I meant extremely competitive. An ambient that forces you emulate the action of the others, so you won't lag behind.

Hi Nero, I thought of another way to say 'lag behind' that I use often. Sometimes, instead of 'lag behind', I will use 'fall behind'. Both are very similar, so it's up to you which one you prefer!

Nero's avatar
Nero

June 20, 2022

16

Got it, thanks.

hakken's avatar
hakken

June 22, 2022

0

Thank you a lot. I'm looking forward to stay in a big city. Us is quite 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤, but at this point is easier to get shot than getting used to saying "colour" or "trousers".😅 But, I'll visit the UK at some point for sure. 😀

That sounds great! I’m sure you’ll have a good time! If you ever go to NYC in particular, just make sure to avoid the street scams

hakken's avatar
hakken

June 22, 2022

0

I meant extremely competitive. An ambient that forces you emulate the action of the others, so you won't lag behind.

Ooh 🤔
That’s a tricky one to express in English lol
I wish I had someone with a bigger vocabulary around to consult

My Plans for the Future

I want to move to the US for a while.

As a kid, I used to be smarter than the average, but I was lazy.

Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how.

So, I did.

I studied things that I enjoyed like coding and English.

But I never did my best at school, and I regret it.

Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yet I missed the opportunity to learn a lot.

I believe that the educational system ihas failed.

However, after meeting some virtuous people thatwho changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn.

‘virtuous people’ is not wrong, but it’s an uncommon way to describe people. To sound more natural, you can say which virtues they have. For example, ‘kind, hardworking people’

That's why I want to go to college.

After school, I took a two year break to decide on my next steps.

So, I choose to get a job.

After a while, I landed a job at a multinational corporation.

There, I would meet brilliant people.

They had several astonishing skills, and the way they saw the world was outstanding.

Meeting them changed my life for the bestter.

I decided that I would not staylag behind, so I started improving my skills.

Stay behind refers to physically staying behind in a place while other people move on. For your metaphorical use, I would say ‘lag behind’ instead.

I had to step up my game: I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding.

Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work ion other projects.

I want to be immersed in a highly emulous environment.

And that's why, for the past months, I've been working hard.

But I can do more.

I want to go to the US.

Thanks to the feedback that I've been receiving in this site, I've learned a lot.

Yet, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English.

To achieve that, I started to save money.

Hopefully, I'll be able to move in two years.

After that, it would be marvelous to visit Germany.

Nero's avatar
Nero

June 20, 2022

16

Thank you for the corrections.

lillian1998's avatar
lillian1998

June 20, 2022

0

Hi Nero, I thought of another way to say 'lag behind' that I use often. Sometimes, instead of 'lag behind', I will use 'fall behind'. Both are very similar, so it's up to you which one you prefer!

My Plans for the Future

I want to move to the US for a while.

As a kid, I used to be smarter than the average, but I was lazy.

Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how.

So, I did.

I studied things that I enjoyed like coding and English.

But I never did my best at school, and I regret it.

Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yet I missed the opportunity to learn a lot.

I believe that the educational system is a failured.

However, after meeting some virtuous people that changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn.

That's why I want to go to college.

After school, I took a two year break to decide my next step.

So, I choose to get a job.

After a while, I landed a job at a multinational corporation.

There I would meI met brilliant people there.

Meeting them changed my life for the bestter.

I decided that I would not stay behind, so I started improving my skills.

I had to step up my game: I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding.

Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work ion other projects.

But I am still surrounded by smart folks, however I want more.

I want be immerse in a highly emulous environment.

I want be surrounded by the best.

If I want be surrounded by the best, I need to be between the best.

And that's why, for the past few months, I've been working hard.

I've been learning my third language, working on my English, getting in shape, reading and studying.

But I can do more.

I want to go to the US.

Thanks to the feedback that I've been receiving in this site, I've learned a lot.

Yet, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English.

To achieve that, I've started to save money.

Hopefully, I'll be able to move in two years.

After that, it would be marvelous to visit Germany.

I believe that ion this journey, I'll stumble upon ingenious people.

And maybe they'll change my life again.

Thank you for reading.

Feedback

You already write English better than some foreign students I knew at my college in the US. Sounds like you'll go far.

Nero's avatar
Nero

June 20, 2022

16

Thanks, man. I owe it to you and all the others that have been correcting me. It means the world to me.

My Plans for the Future


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I want to move to the US for a while.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

As a kid, I used to be smarter than the average, but I was lazy.


As a kid, I used to be smarter than the average, but I was lazy.

As a kid, I used to be smarter than the average, but I was lazy.

As a kid, I used to be smarter than then average, but I was lazy.

“The average” is also fine, but we more often say just “average”

Everyone told me that I need to study, yet no one told me how.


Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how.

Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how.

Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how.

Not sure, but “but” may be better here. It’s more casual

So, I did.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I studied somethings that I enjoyed like coding and English.


But I never did my best at school, and I regret it.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But, I never did my best at school, and I regret it.

Note: if you’re writing casually, you can omit the comma, but I included it as a correction because it’s technically incorrect.

Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yet I missed the opportunity to learn a lot.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yebut I missed the opportunity to learn a lot.

“Yet” is more for unexpected things.

I believe that the educational system is failed.


I believe that the educational system is a failured.

I believe that the educational system ihas failed.

I believe that the educational system is faillawed.

You could also say “is a failure” or “has failed”

However, after meeting some virtuous people that changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

However, after meeting some virtuous people thatwho changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn.

‘virtuous people’ is not wrong, but it’s an uncommon way to describe people. To sound more natural, you can say which virtues they have. For example, ‘kind, hardworking people’

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

That's why I want to go to college.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After school, I took a two year break to decide my next step.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After school, I took a two year break to decide on my next steps.

After school, I took a two year break to decide what my next step would be.

So, I choose to get a job.


So, I choose to get a job.

So, I choose to get a job.

So, I choose to get a job.

After a while, I landed a job at a multinational corporation.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

There I would meet brilliant people.


There I would meI met brilliant people there.

There, I would meet brilliant people.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

They had several astonishing skills, and the way they saw the world was outstanding.


They had several astonishing skills, and the way they saw the world was outstanding.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Meeting them changed my life for the best.


Meeting them changed my life for the bestter.

Meeting them changed my life for the bestter.

Meeting them changed my life for the bestter.

I decided that I would not stay behind, so I started improving my skills.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I decided that I would not staylag behind, so I started improving my skills.

Stay behind refers to physically staying behind in a place while other people move on. For your metaphorical use, I would say ‘lag behind’ instead.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I had to step up my game: I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I had to step up my game:; I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding.

Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work in other projects.


Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work ion other projects.

Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work ion other projects.

Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work ion other projects.

I am still surrounded by smart folks, but I want more.


I want be immerse in a highly emulous environment.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I want to be immersed in a highly emulous environment.

I want to be immersed in a highly emulous environment.

What do you mean by emulous? I’ve never seen that word before

I want be surrounded by the best.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I want to be surrounded by the best.

If I want be surrounded by the best, I need to be between the best.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

If I want to be surrounded by the best, I need to be betweenamong the best.

Between is for two things, among is for more than two.

And that's why, for the past months, I've been working hard.


And that's why, for the past few months, I've been working hard.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And tThat's why, for the past months, I've been working hard.

I've been learning my third language, working on my English, getting in shape, reading and studying.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I've been learning my third language, working on my English, getting in shape, reading, and studying.

The Oxford comma (comma before the “and” in a list) is standardly used to reduce confusion. It’s not required, but I would recommend it.

But I can do more.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But, I can do more.

I want to go to the US.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Thanks to the feedback that I've been receiving in this site, I've learned a lot.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Yet, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

YetThat said, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English.

“Yet” isn’t exactly incorrect, but it doesn’t sound quite right. I’d say something like “that said”

To achieve that, I started to save money.


To achieve that, I've started to save money.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Hopefully, I'll be able to move in two years.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After that, it would be marvelous to visit Germany.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I believe that in this journey I'll stumble upon ingenious people.


And maybe they'll change my life again.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And, maybe they'll change my life again.

Thank you for reading.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I studied things that I enjoyed like coding and English.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But I am still surrounded by smart folks, but I want more.


But I am still surrounded by smart folks, however I want more.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But, I am still surrounded by smart folks, h. However, I want more.

I believe that in this journey, I'll stumble upon ingenious people.


I believe that ion this journey, I'll stumble upon ingenious people.

I believe that ion this journey, I'll stumble upon ingenious people.

Edited:


* = notes for when reviewing in the future.


I want to move to the US for a while.


As a kid, I used to be smarter than average, but I was lazy.


Everyone told me that I needed to study, yet no one told me how.


So, I did.


I studied things that I enjoyed like coding and English.


But, I never did my best at school, and I regret it.


Not doing well in school never had any real consequences, yet I missed the opportunity to learn a lot.


I believe that the education system is a failure.


However, after meeting some virtuous people who (* that was miss used) changed my mind, I've concluded that the ideal place to search for brilliant people is where they learn.


That's why I want to go to college.


After school, I took a two year break to decide on (* decide on something) my next steps.


So, I chose (* pay closer attention to conjugation) to get a job.


After a while, I landed a job at a multinational corporation.


I meet brilliant people there ( * KISS).


They had astonishing skills, and the way they saw the world was outstanding.


Meeting them changed my life for the better.


(* change for the better)


I decided that I would not lag behind, so I started improving my skills.


I had to step up my game: I went back to studying English, Excel, and coding.


Unfortunately, most of them left the company to work on (* work in is for a company) other projects.


But, I am still surrounded by smart folks, however I want more.


I want to (* to be) be immersed in a highly emulous environment.


I want be surrounded by the best.


If I want be surrounded by the best, I need to be between the best.


That's why, for the past few months, I've been working hard; I've been learning my third language, working on my English, getting in shape, reading, and studying.


But, I can do more.


I want to go to the US.


Thanks to the feedback that I've been receiving in this site, I've learned a lot.


That said, I have a long way to go, and I think that living in the US would refine my English.


To achieve that, I've started to save money (* started in the past and still on going).


Hopefully, I'll be able to move in two years.


After that, it would be marvelous to visit Germany.


I believe that on this journey (* in for a specific point), I'll stumble upon ingenious people.


And, maybe they'll change my life again.


Thank you for reading.


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