My Personal Blog (Ssecond Aattempt) My Personal Blog (second attempt)

I would not use capitals for the second attempt

I hope you're doing well. :) I hope you're doing well. :)

:)

I hope you're doing well :) I hope you're well :)

Today, I'm attempting to do this homework. Today, I'm attempting to do this homework.

Today I'mIn this journal I’ll be attempting to do thmy English homework. In this journal I’ll be attempting my English homework.

‘This homework’ sounds too specific natives wouldn’t say it. The one I corrected sounds a bit formal, but addressing what you’re talking about is usually done formally. Furthermore, it gives an imperative formal tone. You could say to be more colloquial: the topic of this journal will be my homework But even using ‘topic’ in this way sounds a bit iffy !

I'm aiming for American English and I want to be formalformally written American English. I'm aiming for formally written American English.

(Please correct me if I made somuse contractions, because sometimes I don't notice them because it's a bad habit. 😅) (Please correct me if I use contractions because sometimes I don't notice them because it's a bad habit. 😅)

(Please correct me if I have made some contractions, sometimes I don't notice them because it's a habit 😅) (Please correct me if I have made some contractions, sometimes I don't notice them because it's a habit 😅)

(Please correct me if I made some unnecessary contractions, sometimes I don't notice them because it's adue to habit 😅) (Please correct me if I made some unnecessary contractions, sometimes I don't notice them due to habit 😅)

Correcting in line with your stylistic intent :)

I am a young, skinny, tall woman with curly hair, skinny, tall. I am a young, skinny, tall woman with curly hair.

I am a young woman with curly hair, skinny, tall. and I am tall and thin. I am a young woman with curly hair and I am tall and thin.

I am a young woman with curly hair, I am both skinny, and tall. I am a young woman with curly hair, I am both skinny and tall.

I have brown eyes, my hair is dark, I havedark hair, and long eyelash and I havees with a serious countenance. I have brown eyes, dark hair, and long eyelashes with a serious countenance.

I have brown eyes, my hair is dark, I also have long eyelash and I have a serious countenance. I have brown eyes, my hair is dark, I also have long eyelash and a serious countenance.

I have brown eyes, my hair is dark, I have long eyelashes and I have a serious countenance. I have brown eyes, my hair is dark, I have long eyelashes and I have a serious countenance.

I live with my mom.ther. I live with my mother.

More formal

My favorite family member is my mom because she is fun, s. She always makes me laugh and she does her best. My favorite family member is my mom because she is fun. She always makes me laugh and she does her best.

My favorite family member is my momther because she is fun, she always makes me laugh and she does her best. to ( do what? ) My favorite family member is my mother because she is fun, she always makes me laugh and she does her best to ( do what? )

My favorite family member is my mom because she is funI love my mother the best out of all my family, because I find her find, she is always makes me laughing and she dodoing her best. in all different kinds of situations. I love my mother the best out of all my family, because I find her find, she is always laughing and doing her best in all different kinds of situations.

Very natural saying with the last clause; your attempt sounded incomplete !

I have MexicanMy nationality is Mexican. My nationality is Mexican.

I haveand am a Mexican nationality.citizen. and am a Mexican citizen.

I have MexicanThus, my nationality is Mexican. Thus, my nationality is Mexican.

In myOn weekends I like to study, read, draw, take photos, learn languages, go shopping, and knit. On weekends I like to study, read, draw, take photos, learn languages, go shopping, and knit.

InDuring my weekends I like to study, read, draw, take photos, learn languages, go shopping, and knit. During my weekends I like to study, read, draw, take photos, learn languages, go shopping, and knit.

I would break this sentence into 2 sentences

In myOn weekends I like to study, read, draw, take photos, learn languages, go shopping, and knit. On weekends I like to study, read, draw, take photos, learn languages, go shopping, and knit.

I live in Mexico. I live in Mexico.

Stylistically I would keep the 3 sentences about Mexico together ( ie live in Mexico, am a Mexican citizen..etc)

My city is scandapopulous and noisy. My city is populous and noisy.

We don't often describe a city as "scandalous" in American English.

My city is scandalous and noisy. My city is scandalous and noisy.

Not sure exactly what you mean by scandalous - overpopulated?

There are beautiful places, but there are also dangerous and dirty places. There are beautiful places, but there are also dangerous and dirty places.

There are beautiful places, but there also dangerous and dirty places. There are beautiful places, but there also dangerous and dirty places.

You can find any place in my citything in my city including restaurants, shops, and pharmacies but, most of all, my city is surrounded by apartments. You can find anything in my city including restaurants, shops, and pharmacies but, most of all, my city is surrounded by apartments.

You can find anyll types of places in my city. You can find all types of places in my city.

You can find any placething in my city. You can find anything in my city.

Natural usage

Including restaurants, shops, and pharmacies but most of all my city is surrounded by apartments.

This is an incomplete sentence so I deleted it and appended it to the previous one.

Including restaurants, shops, and pharmacies but most of all my city is surrounded byfull of apartments. Including restaurants, shops, and pharmacies but most of all my city is full of apartments.

I would make this sentence a continuation of the last one.

I like that I can make noise and I have more freedom,. I can wear whatever I want, and I can visit different places. I like that I can make noise and have more freedom. I can wear whatever I want and I can visit different places.

I like it that I can make a noise and I have more freedom, and I can wear whatever I want, I c and visit different places. I like it that I can make a noise and I have more freedom and I can wear whatever I want and visit different places.

In my city, commerce exists in abundance, so there are a lot of products and I can buy cheapinexpensive things. In my city, commerce exists in abundance, so there are a lot of products and I can buy inexpensive things.

"Cheap" is okay but "inexpensive" is more formal.

In my city, commerce exist in abundance, so there are a lot of products and I can buy cheap things.things cheap. In my city, commerce exist in abundance, so there are a lot of products and I can buy things cheap.

In my city, commerce exists in abundance, thuso there are a lot of products andthat I can buy cheap thingsrather cheaply. In my city, commerce exists in abundance, thus there are a lot of products that I can buy rather cheaply.

PThe people are funny and generous. The people are funny and generous.

One of my favorite things about my city is the architecture;: I enjoy walking and watchinglooking at buildings with a colonial style or buildings with incredible details that makes me think that it is worth living here. One of my favorite things about my city is the architecture: I enjoy walking and looking at buildings with a colonial style or buildings with incredible details that makes me think that it is worth living here.

I like looking at architecture, too. :)

One of my favorite things about my city is the architecture; I enjoy walking and watchinglooking at buildings with a colonial style or buildings with incredible details that makes me think that is worthfeel it is a pleasure to livinge here. One of my favorite things is the architecture; I enjoy walking and looking at buildings with a colonial style or buildings with incredible details that makes me feel it is a pleasure to live here.

One of my favorite things about my city is the architecture; I enjoy walking and watchobserving buildings, especially those with a colonial style or buildingsthose with incredible details that. These details, in particular, makes me thinkruly believe that it is worth living here. One of my favorite things about my city is the architecture; I enjoy walking and observing buildings, especially those with a colonial style or those with incredible detail. These details, in particular, make me truly believe that it is worth living here.

I do not like that it is dangerous living here, p. People do not follow rules andor the law. I do not like that it is dangerous living here. People do not follow rules or the law.

:(

I do not like the fact that it is dangerous living here, and that people do not follow rules and the law. I do not like the fact that it is dangerous living here and that people do not follow rules and the law.

I do not like that it is dangerous livingto live here, people do not follow the rules andor the law. I do not like that it is dangerous to live here, people do not follow the rules or the law.

Some people are crude and discriminate originalagainst different ethnicities. Some people are crude and discriminate against different ethnicities.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here so this is my best guess.

Some people are crude and discriminate original ethnicsagainst the indigenous people ( or the original inhabitants of Mexico). Some people are crude and discriminate against the indigenous people ( or the original inhabitants of Mexico).

Some people are crude and discriminate originalagainst indigenous ethnics. Some people are crude and discriminate against indigenous ethnics.

There is too much violence in my city that people are used to seeing it as something normal, f. For example, the last week I saw a man who was assassinated and people reacted in a very strange way. There is too much violence in my city that people are used to seeing it as something normal. For example, last week I saw a man who was assassinated and people reacted in a very strange way.

Wow!

There is toso much violence in my city that people are used tonow see it as something normal, f. For example, the last week I saw a man who was assassinated and people reacted in a very strange way. There is so much violence in my city that people now see it as something normal. For example, last week I saw a man who was assassinated and people reacted in a very strange way.

Suggest you keep your sentences shorter

TI believe that there is too much violence in my city, so much so that many people are used to seenow view it as something normal, fincluding myself. For example, the last week I saw a man who was assassinated and people reacted in a very strange way. I believe that there is too much violence in my city, so much so that many people now view it as something normal, including myself. For example, last week I saw a man who was assassinated and people reacted in a very strange way.