FAJY18's avatar
FAJY18

May 24, 2024

0
My pasion for the videogames

Well, is a placer to join this comunnity, I introduce my self, I am Francisco and study at naval academy on Perú, Always I practice my english to complete my carrer and well is complicated to me; my vocabulary is low and i cant remember others words, my roommates try to show me about english and others themes about hte carrer, I have 2 brothers, the major living in USA and the middle living with me and our parents, I dont have job because actually I study and my parents cover my bills, Is disapointed for me beacuse I want a method to gain money, my parents dont have money. Well this is a part of my life, thanks for readed


Bueno es un placer unirme a esta comunidad, me presento, soy francisco y estudio en la academia naval de Perú, simpre practico ingles para completar mi carrera y is complicado para mi, mi vocabulario es bajo y no puedo recordar otras palabras, mis compañeros de camarote tratan de enseñarme sobre el ingles y otros temas de la carrera, tengo 2 hermanos, el mayor vive en USA y el del medio vive conmigo y con nuestros padres. No tengo trabajo porque estoy estudiando y mis papás pagas mis gastos, Estoy decepcioando de mi porque busco un metodo para ganar dinero ya que mis padres no tienen dinero.

Corrections

My passion for the video games

Just some spelling mistakes and I don’t think “the” is entirely necessary there

Well, it is a placereasure to join this communnity, I. Let me introduce my self,. I am Francisco and I study at nNaval aAcademy oin Perú, Au. I always I practice my eEnglish to complete my carrer and, well, it is complicated to me; my vocabulary is lowimited and iI cant remember othersa lot of words, m. My roommates try to show meteach me things about eEnglish and others themeings about htethis carrer,er. I have 2 brothers, the majoreldest living in USA and the middle child living with me and our parents,. I dont have a job because actually I study and my parents cover my bills,. Is am disappointed for me beacbecause I want a methodway to gaiearn money, since my parents dont have a lot (of money).

I’m not sure what you mean by “complete my carrer”. My first thought is “career” instead of carrer but this isn’t really the right situation to use career in.

Some more general feedback:
Spelling - Just a few mistakes here and there, mainly to do with double letters which I will admit are hard to remember sometimes. Eventually though, it does get a little easier to figure out what does and doesn’t look right.
Capitalisation - The first letters in proper nouns should be capitalised. So in this text, you should capitalise names of places/schools (like Naval Academy) and languages (English). When using I, it should also always be capitalised but you only forgot to do that once I think.
Adverb Placement - With words like ‘always’ and ‘actually’, they typically go between the subject and the verb instead of going before the subject.
Contractions - Make sure you put the apostrophe (‘) inside. For example, can not = can’t and do not = don’t. Basically the apostrophe replaces the ‘o’ in not, and more generally, I think the apostrophe tends to replace the vowel in the second word.
Punctuation - With full stops (.) and commas (,), make sure to actually finish the sentences (so use a full stop instead of a comma). For now, I’d recommend using short, simple sentences to make it simpler and to break things up a little while you’re learning.

I also don’t know the technical terms for this but when you use ‘is’ make sure to put ‘it’ in front first, or use some other noun (whatever word ‘it’ would refer to, or what you are commenting on)

With the final sentence when I put “of money” in brackets/parentheses (), I mean that with the corrections I applied which referenced “money” earlier in the sentence, it is optional to include it in that final part.

Well, this is a part of my life, thanks for readeding.

“Readed” is not a word, so for the past tense of “read” it would still be written as “read” but pronounced more like ‘red’. However, in this case, you would use an ‘-ing’ word like reading. For example, you can say “thank you for watching” or “thank you for listening” as well.

Feedback

Overall, you just need to look at vocabulary, spelling and grammar. I will say that English grammar is quite complicated though, especially (I assume) when learning it as a second language. But don’t be discouraged, my comments were probably more wordy than necessary, and I think you’re doing amazingly! For the most part, it was all readable, in the sense that I could understand most of what you were saying, which is probably what matters the most, especially if using technically correct English isn’t necessary in your everyday life.
Keep at it and good luck with learning English! I believe in you!

Pandas62's avatar
Pandas62

May 25, 2024

0

Just adding onto this because I forgot to add something in earlier. When writing in English, you don’t tend to use accents unless the word has been borrowed from another language (and doesn’t have its own spelling yet in English). For example, with your use of Perú earlier, in English it would be Peru (so no accent).

My pasion for the video games

Well, is a placereasure to join this communnity,. I would like to introduce my self,. I am Francisco and study at naval academy on Perú, Au. I always I practice my eEnglish to complete my carrer and well is complicated to me; mfor me. My vocabulary is lowimited and iI can't remember othersmany words, m. My roommates try to showtell me about eEnglish and others themes about htein their carrer,. I have 2 brothers, the majoreldest living in USA and the middle one living with me and our parents,. I dont have job because actually I study and my parents cover my bills,. It is disapointed for me beacuse I want a method to gaito find a way to earn money, as my parents dont’t have money.

You need to put full stops . between your sentences. not a comma ,

Well this is a part of my life, t. Thanks for readeding.

Well, it is a placereasure to join this comunnity,. I will introduce my self, I am Francisco and I study at naval academy oin Perú, AI always I practice my english to complete my carrerfinish my degree and wellit is complicated to me; my vocabulary is lowweak and iI cant remember otherssome words, my roommates try to show me about english and others themes about hthe carrer,er. I have 2 brothers, the majoroldest livinges in the USA and the middle livingone lives with me andwith our parents, I dont have job because I actually I study and my parents cover my bills, Iit is disappointed foring to me beacuse I want a methodto find a way to gain money, my parents dont have money.

Well this is a part of my life, thanks for readeding

My pasion for the videogames


My pasion for the video games

My passion for the video games

Just some spelling mistakes and I don’t think “the” is entirely necessary there

Well, is a placer to join this comunnity, I introduce my self, I am Francisco and study at naval academy on Perú, Always I practice my english to complete my carrer and well is complicated to me; my vocabulary is low and i cant remember others words, my roommates try to show me about english and others themes about hte carrer, I have 2 brothers, the major living in USA and the middle living with me and our parents, I dont have job because actually I study and my parents cover my bills, Is disapointed for me beacuse I want a method to gain money, my parents dont have money.


Well, it is a placereasure to join this comunnity,. I will introduce my self, I am Francisco and I study at naval academy oin Perú, AI always I practice my english to complete my carrerfinish my degree and wellit is complicated to me; my vocabulary is lowweak and iI cant remember otherssome words, my roommates try to show me about english and others themes about hthe carrer,er. I have 2 brothers, the majoroldest livinges in the USA and the middle livingone lives with me andwith our parents, I dont have job because I actually I study and my parents cover my bills, Iit is disappointed foring to me beacuse I want a methodto find a way to gain money, my parents dont have money.

Well, is a placereasure to join this communnity,. I would like to introduce my self,. I am Francisco and study at naval academy on Perú, Au. I always I practice my eEnglish to complete my carrer and well is complicated to me; mfor me. My vocabulary is lowimited and iI can't remember othersmany words, m. My roommates try to showtell me about eEnglish and others themes about htein their carrer,. I have 2 brothers, the majoreldest living in USA and the middle one living with me and our parents,. I dont have job because actually I study and my parents cover my bills,. It is disapointed for me beacuse I want a method to gaito find a way to earn money, as my parents dont’t have money.

You need to put full stops . between your sentences. not a comma ,

Well, it is a placereasure to join this communnity, I. Let me introduce my self,. I am Francisco and I study at nNaval aAcademy oin Perú, Au. I always I practice my eEnglish to complete my carrer and, well, it is complicated to me; my vocabulary is lowimited and iI cant remember othersa lot of words, m. My roommates try to show meteach me things about eEnglish and others themeings about htethis carrer,er. I have 2 brothers, the majoreldest living in USA and the middle child living with me and our parents,. I dont have a job because actually I study and my parents cover my bills,. Is am disappointed for me beacbecause I want a methodway to gaiearn money, since my parents dont have a lot (of money).

I’m not sure what you mean by “complete my carrer”. My first thought is “career” instead of carrer but this isn’t really the right situation to use career in. Some more general feedback: Spelling - Just a few mistakes here and there, mainly to do with double letters which I will admit are hard to remember sometimes. Eventually though, it does get a little easier to figure out what does and doesn’t look right. Capitalisation - The first letters in proper nouns should be capitalised. So in this text, you should capitalise names of places/schools (like Naval Academy) and languages (English). When using I, it should also always be capitalised but you only forgot to do that once I think. Adverb Placement - With words like ‘always’ and ‘actually’, they typically go between the subject and the verb instead of going before the subject. Contractions - Make sure you put the apostrophe (‘) inside. For example, can not = can’t and do not = don’t. Basically the apostrophe replaces the ‘o’ in not, and more generally, I think the apostrophe tends to replace the vowel in the second word. Punctuation - With full stops (.) and commas (,), make sure to actually finish the sentences (so use a full stop instead of a comma). For now, I’d recommend using short, simple sentences to make it simpler and to break things up a little while you’re learning. I also don’t know the technical terms for this but when you use ‘is’ make sure to put ‘it’ in front first, or use some other noun (whatever word ‘it’ would refer to, or what you are commenting on) With the final sentence when I put “of money” in brackets/parentheses (), I mean that with the corrections I applied which referenced “money” earlier in the sentence, it is optional to include it in that final part.

Well this is a part of my life, thanks for readed


Well this is a part of my life, thanks for readeding

Well this is a part of my life, t. Thanks for readeding.

Well, this is a part of my life, thanks for readeding.

“Readed” is not a word, so for the past tense of “read” it would still be written as “read” but pronounced more like ‘red’. However, in this case, you would use an ‘-ing’ word like reading. For example, you can say “thank you for watching” or “thank you for listening” as well.

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