Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 20, 2023

1
My Life in SZ (2)

Two days later, I moved from my friend's home to a dormitory in a six-storey Staff Building without an elevator. There were several other comparatively older and bad-state low-rise buildings nearby, which were called Worker Houses.

There were 6 metal bunk beds in my dormitory. I forget which floor I was living on and how much I paid for it each month. An HR staff ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "It's your bed, you can take relax and rejuvenate at noon from 12:00 to one o'clock in the afternoon, of course, you can sleep here at night." In fact, I never touched my bed at noon.

I sat by an assembly line, some ornaments like elves, Christmas trees, smashed snow, reindeer, and more others toward to my hands through a motor-driven conveyor. First, I must put them into a crystal sphere which had already piled on my place. Then, put it on the conveyor belt again, some other workers were waiting for it and prepared to do the next process.

The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyes when I first saw them put on the tables; hanging on the walls; piling on the ground. So many various ornaments filled every corner of the workshop. They will go to thousands of families in the world through our hands, making them sing, dance, and sing on the great days by the end of December.

No matter how much I loved these kinds of Christmas accessories before, I looked at them as disgusting after one hour of working by the assembly line.

Corrections

My Life in SZ (2)

Two days later, I moved from my friend's home to a dormitory in a six- storey Staff Buildingy employee housing complex without an elevator.

"Story" is how we spell it in the US but other English speaking countries probably spell it "storey."

There were several other comparatively older and bad-stdilapidated low-rise buildings nearby, which were called the Worker Houses.

There were 6 metal bunk beds in my dormitory.

I forget which floor I was living on and how much I paid for it each month.

An HR staffperson ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "It'This is your bed, y. You can take relax and rejuvenate at noon from 12:00 to one o'clockfrom 12-1 in the afternoon, o. Of course, you can sleep here at night, too."

In fact, I never touched my bed at noon.

I sat by an assembly line, s. Some ornaments like elves, Christmas trees, smashed snow, reindeer, and more others came toward to my handss me through a motor-driven conveyor belt.

First, I musthad to put them into a crystal sphere which had. Crystal spheres were already piled onup at my splace.

Then, I had to put it back on the conveyor belt again, somwhere other workers were waiting for it and prepared to do the next step in the process.

The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyes when I first saw them put on the tables;, hanging on the walls;, and pilinged on the ground.

So many various ornaments filled every corner of the workshop.

They willould go to thousands of families in the world through our hands, making them sing, and dance, and sing on the great during the holidays byat the end of December.

No matter how much I loved these kinds of Christmas accessories before, I looked at them as disgusting after one hour of working byat the assembly line.

Feedback

わー、わかりましたね。上手にかけています!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 24, 2023

1

Two days later, I moved from my friend's home to a dormitory in a six- storey Staff Buildingy employee housing complex without an elevator.

"employee housing complex" は新しいフレーズ

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 24, 2023

1

ありがとございます!:ー)

My Life in SZ (2)

Two days later, I moved from my friend's home to a dormitory in a six-storey Sstaff Bbuilding without an elevator.

There were several other comparatively older and bad-state low-rise buildings in bad shape nearby, which were called Wworker Hhouses.

There were 6 metal bunk beds in my dormitory.

I forget which floor I was living on and how much I paid for it each month.

An HR staff ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "It's your bed, you can take relax and rejuvenate at noon from 12:00 to one o'clock in the afternoon, and of course, you can sleep here at night."

In fact, I never touched my bed at noon.

I sat by an assembly line, somwhere ornaments like elves, Christmas trees, smashed snow, reindeer, and more others moved toward tos my hands throughon a motor-driven conveyor belt.

First, I must put them into a crystal sphere which had already piled on my placbeen placed near me.

Then, when I put it on the conveyor belt again, some other workers were (already) waiting for it and prepared to do the next step in the process.

The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyesto me when I first saw them putlaced on the tables;, hanging on the walls;, and piling on the ground.

So many (various/kinds of) ornaments filled every corner of the workshop.

They will pass through our hands and go to thousands of families in the world through our hands,, who will makinge them sing, dance, and sing onfor the great days byholidays through the end of December.

I'm not sure what "on the great days" means, so I translated it to "the holidays" for now.

NHowever, no matter how much I loved these kinds of Christmas accessories before, I looked at them aswith disgusting after one hour of working by the assembly line.

Feedback

Great job! Keep up the good work. :)

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 20, 2023

1

They will pass through our hands and go to thousands of families in the world through our hands,, who will makinge them sing, dance, and sing onfor the great days byholidays through the end of December.

I assumed this "on the great days" means the important and joyous holiday season during the Christmas Days; however, it's wrong because you don't understand it.

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 20, 2023

1

Thank you so much!

Two days later, I moved from my friend's homuse to a dormitory in a six-storey Sstaff Bbuilding without an elevator.

'my friend's house' is a lot more natural to say in this sentence.

There were several other comparatively older and bad-stateshabby low-rise buildings nearby, which were called Worker Houses.

Shabby is used when something is in a worn-out or bad shape. 'In a bad state' or 'in bad shape' could be used after buildings.

"There were several other comparatively older low-rise buildings in a bad state nearby, which were called Worker Houses."

"There were several other comparatively older low-rise buildings in bad shape nearby, which were called Worker Houses."

I forgeot which floor I was living on and how much I paid for it each month.

AnOne of the HR staff ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "Iid, "That's your bed, you can take relax and rejuvenatetake a nap at noon from 12:00 to one o'clock in the afternoon and, of course, you can sleep here at night."

In factThe thing is, I never touched my bed at noon.

I sat by an assembly line, some ornaments like elves, Cchristmas trees, smashedfake snow, reindeer, and more othersmoved toward tos my hands throughon a motor-driven conveyor belt.

Christmas as an adjective is lower case.

First, I must put them into a crystal sphere which had already pilarrived onat my placeosition.

Then, I put it on the conveyor belt again, some of the other workers were waiting for it and prepared to do the next step in the process.

The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyes when I first saw them put on the tables;, hanging on the walls;, and piling on the ground.

They will go to thousands of families in the world through our hands, making them sing, dance, and sing and dance on the greatest days by the end of December.

No matter how much I loved these kinds of Cchristmas accessoriedecorations before, I looked at them aswith disgusting after one hour of working by the assembly line.

Feedback

A very interesting story. In America, we don't get to hear much of what goes on in the factories aside from the news about the occassional bad big companies. I didn't know factory workers lived were they worked.

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 20, 2023

1

Thank you very much for your corrections! Your comments and explanations encourage me a lot. :-)

My Life in SZ (2)


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Two days later, I moved from my friend's home to a dormitory in a six-storey Staff Building without an elevator.


Two days later, I moved from my friend's homuse to a dormitory in a six-storey Sstaff Bbuilding without an elevator.

'my friend's house' is a lot more natural to say in this sentence.

Two days later, I moved from my friend's home to a dormitory in a six-storey Sstaff Bbuilding without an elevator.

Two days later, I moved from my friend's home to a dormitory in a six- storey Staff Buildingy employee housing complex without an elevator.

"Story" is how we spell it in the US but other English speaking countries probably spell it "storey."

There were several other comparatively older and bad-state low-rise buildings nearby, which were called Worker Houses.


There were several other comparatively older and bad-stateshabby low-rise buildings nearby, which were called Worker Houses.

Shabby is used when something is in a worn-out or bad shape. 'In a bad state' or 'in bad shape' could be used after buildings. "There were several other comparatively older low-rise buildings in a bad state nearby, which were called Worker Houses." "There were several other comparatively older low-rise buildings in bad shape nearby, which were called Worker Houses."

There were several other comparatively older and bad-state low-rise buildings in bad shape nearby, which were called Wworker Hhouses.

There were several other comparatively older and bad-stdilapidated low-rise buildings nearby, which were called the Worker Houses.

There were 6 metal bunk beds in my dormitory.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I forget which floor I was living on and how much I paid for it each month.


I forgeot which floor I was living on and how much I paid for it each month.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

An HR staff ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "It's your bed, you can take relax and rejuvenate at noon from 12:00 to one o'clock in the afternoon, of course, you can sleep here at night."


AnOne of the HR staff ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "Iid, "That's your bed, you can take relax and rejuvenatetake a nap at noon from 12:00 to one o'clock in the afternoon and, of course, you can sleep here at night."

An HR staff ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "It's your bed, you can take relax and rejuvenate at noon from 12:00 to one o'clock in the afternoon, and of course, you can sleep here at night."

An HR staffperson ushered me in pointing to a top bunk and saying, "It'This is your bed, y. You can take relax and rejuvenate at noon from 12:00 to one o'clockfrom 12-1 in the afternoon, o. Of course, you can sleep here at night, too."

In fact, I never touched my bed at noon.


In factThe thing is, I never touched my bed at noon.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I sat by an assembly line, some ornaments like elves, Christmas trees, smashed snow, reindeer, and more others toward to my hands through a motor-driven conveyor.


I sat by an assembly line, some ornaments like elves, Cchristmas trees, smashedfake snow, reindeer, and more othersmoved toward tos my hands throughon a motor-driven conveyor belt.

Christmas as an adjective is lower case.

I sat by an assembly line, somwhere ornaments like elves, Christmas trees, smashed snow, reindeer, and more others moved toward tos my hands throughon a motor-driven conveyor belt.

I sat by an assembly line, s. Some ornaments like elves, Christmas trees, smashed snow, reindeer, and more others came toward to my handss me through a motor-driven conveyor belt.

First, I must put them into a crystal sphere which had already piled on my place.


First, I must put them into a crystal sphere which had already pilarrived onat my placeosition.

First, I must put them into a crystal sphere which had already piled on my placbeen placed near me.

First, I musthad to put them into a crystal sphere which had. Crystal spheres were already piled onup at my splace.

Then, put it on the conveyor belt again, some other workers were waiting for it and prepared to do the next process.


Then, I put it on the conveyor belt again, some of the other workers were waiting for it and prepared to do the next step in the process.

Then, when I put it on the conveyor belt again, some other workers were (already) waiting for it and prepared to do the next step in the process.

Then, I had to put it back on the conveyor belt again, somwhere other workers were waiting for it and prepared to do the next step in the process.

The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyes when I first saw them put on the tables; hanging on the walls; piling on the ground.


The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyes when I first saw them put on the tables;, hanging on the walls;, and piling on the ground.

The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyesto me when I first saw them putlaced on the tables;, hanging on the walls;, and piling on the ground.

The ornaments were so beautiful in my eyes when I first saw them put on the tables;, hanging on the walls;, and pilinged on the ground.

So many various ornaments filled every corner of the workshop.


So many (various/kinds of) ornaments filled every corner of the workshop.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

They will go to thousands of families in the world through our hands, making them sing, dance, and sing on the great days by the end of December.


They will go to thousands of families in the world through our hands, making them sing, dance, and sing and dance on the greatest days by the end of December.

They will pass through our hands and go to thousands of families in the world through our hands,, who will makinge them sing, dance, and sing onfor the great days byholidays through the end of December.

I'm not sure what "on the great days" means, so I translated it to "the holidays" for now.

They willould go to thousands of families in the world through our hands, making them sing, and dance, and sing on the great during the holidays byat the end of December.

No matter how much I loved these kinds of Christmas accessories before, I looked at them as disgusting after one hour of working by the assembly line.


No matter how much I loved these kinds of Cchristmas accessoriedecorations before, I looked at them aswith disgusting after one hour of working by the assembly line.

NHowever, no matter how much I loved these kinds of Christmas accessories before, I looked at them aswith disgusting after one hour of working by the assembly line.

No matter how much I loved these kinds of Christmas accessories before, I looked at them as disgusting after one hour of working byat the assembly line.

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