Nov. 18, 2021
My Hometown
My hometown is a small village far away from Seoul.
So there are lots of good places where many people don’t know and don‘t visit.
First, there is a nice place where a river flows around it.
The place seems like an island but is still connected with the main land on one direction.
Because of this scene, people visit there and take pictures.
Next, there are many small valleys where children can swim.
The water is also clear, so we can see the bottom of the river.
So my family visits more than 4 times a year.
Because of these reasons, I like traveling to my home.
Whenever I have a chance, I go there with my family.
My hometown is a small village far away from Seoul.,
Sso there are lots of good places where many people don’t know and don‘t visit.
so is a linking word, connecting this sentence with the previous one. The two sentences should be one broken with a comma.
The place seems like an island but is still connected with the main land oin one direction.
you could say "in one direction" or "on one side"
SoAs it is so nice, my family visits more than 4 times a year.
You are using "so" very often and it is unclear what you are referring back to.
Feedback
When you use linking words like "so" or "because" make sure you are clear what ideas you are linking and try to support it with your sentence structure. Nice job on the writing. Your home sounds very nice
Nov. 19, 2021
Thank you for your advices.
My Hometown
My hometown is a small village far away from Seoul.
So there are lots of good places where many people don’t know and don‘t visit.
First, there is a nice place where a river flows around it.
The place seems like an island but is still connected with the main land on one dirby a small section.
Because of this scene, people visit there and take pictures.
Next, there are many small valleys where children can swim.
The water is also clear, so we can see the bottom of the river.
So my family visits more than 4 times a year.
Because of these reasons, I like traveling to my home.
Whenever I have a chance, I go there with my family.
Feedback
Very nice grammar! Your writing is also clear in meaning! If anything, I think you can level up your writing by going in depth on the topic, but honestly, it's already really good!
Nov. 19, 2021
Thank you so much!
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My Hometown This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My hometown is a small village far away from Seoul. This sentence has been marked as perfect! My hometown is a small village far away from Seoul |
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So there are lots of good places where many people don’t know and do ‘t visit. |
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First, there are nice place where a river flows around there. |
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The place seems like an island but one direction still connects with main land. |
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Because of this scene, people visit there and take pictures. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Next, there are many small valleys where children can swim. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The water is also clear, so we can see the bottom of the river. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So my family visits more than 4 times a year. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
You are using "so" very often and it is unclear what you are referring back to. |
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Because of these reasons, I like traveling to my home. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Whenever I have a chance, I go there with my family. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So there are lots of good places where many people don’t know and don‘t visit. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
so is a linking word, connecting this sentence with the previous one. The two sentences should be one broken with a comma. |
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First, there is a nice place where a river flows around it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The place seems like an island but is still connected with the main land on one direction. The place seems like an island but is still connected with the main land The place seems like an island but is still connected with the main land you could say "in one direction" or "on one side" |
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