khn08's avatar
khn08

Jan. 3, 2024

1
My hobbies

I immensely enjoy doing sports. I had been running and swimming for five years, before I switched to wall climbing. While I really liked in swimming and running that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through, after a time I grew bored. I remember, when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated. I was amazed how creatively you could move around and how you have to think, to plan out your moves before starting. On my free afternoons I usually go out with my friends to play volleyball and basketball. Unlike the sports mentioned before, these team sports require you to pay attention to you surroundings and react accordingly.
I also read a lot and like watching series, especially animes. Right now I'm reading The Black Company from Glen Cook. It has been really interesting so far, I love how the characters are so complex and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.

Corrections

My hobbies

I immensely enjoy playing/doing sports.

playing is a bit more common

Before I switched to wall climbing, I had been running and swimming for five years, before I switched to wall climbing.

Before I switched to wall climbing, I had been running and swimming for five years.
Tense is clearer with the "before" clause placed first.

Whileat I really liked in swimming and running was that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through, but after a time I grew bored.

I remember I was fascinated, when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated.

I remember I was fascinated, when I first went wall climbing.
No need to have too many clauses nested between each other.

I was amazed how creatively you could move around and how you have to think, to plan out your moves before starting.

On my free afternoons I usually go out with my friends to play volleyball and basketball.

Unlike the sports mentioned before, these team sports require you to pay attention to your surroundings and react accordingly.

I also read a lot and like watching TV series, especially animes.

"series" usually not used alone, even if you aren't watching them on TV

Right now I'm reading The Black Company from Glen Cook.

It has been really interesting so far, I love how complex the characters are so complex and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.

It has been really interesting so far, I love how complex the characters are and how it shows that there is no such thing as pure evil.

Feedback

Overall pretty good, just some changes to word order. Be careful about too many commas and clauses interrupting each other; you don't want to disrupt the flow of the writing.

My hHobbies

I immensely enjoy doing sports.

I had been running and swimming for five years, before I switched to wall climbing.

While I really liked in swimming and running that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through in swimming and running, after a time I grew bored.

You could begin the sentence with "While I really liked THAT in swimming and running..." However it reads more clearly when you switch these two around

I remember, when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated.

I was amazed how creatively you could move around and how you have to think, to plan out your moves before starting.

It has been really interesting so far, I love how the characters are so complex and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.

You can also say "I love how complex rhe characters are and how..."

Feedback

Well done! Lots of advanced vocabulary and good use of grammar structures!

I loved climbing as a child, but I've since developed a fear of heights that makes me too scared to climb. I hope you enjoy improving your climbing skills... It is great fun!!

khn08's avatar
khn08

Jan. 4, 2024

1

Thank you!! I actually had a fear of heights before starting, but climbing helped me to overcome it!

My hobbies

I immensely enjoy doing sports immensely.

I'm not sure why, but "immensely" is usually added after the thing you enjoy doing

I had been running and swimming for five years, before I switched to wall climbing.

While I really liked that in swimming and running that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through, after a timwhile I grew bored.

putting "that" and "in" together makes the sentence much easier to understand; "after a while" is a much more common/natural expression

I remember, I was fascinated when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated.

putting "when I...climbing" in the middle of the sentence sounds a bit stilted or awkward

I was amazed by how creatively you could move around, and how you have to think, to plan out your moves before starting.

Unlike the sports mentioned before, these team sports require you to pay attention to your surroundings and react accordingly.

I also read a lot and like watching tv series, especially animes.

It's more common to specify "tv series"

It has been really interesting so far, I love how the characters are so complex, and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.

The second comma should go before "and" as that is a separate thought

khn08's avatar
khn08

Jan. 4, 2024

1

Thanks you!

My hobbies


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My hHobbies

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I immensely enjoy doing sports.


I immensely enjoy doing sports immensely.

I'm not sure why, but "immensely" is usually added after the thing you enjoy doing

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I immensely enjoy playing/doing sports.

playing is a bit more common

I had been running and swimming for five years, before I switched to wall climbing.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Before I switched to wall climbing, I had been running and swimming for five years, before I switched to wall climbing.

Before I switched to wall climbing, I had been running and swimming for five years. Tense is clearer with the "before" clause placed first.

While I really liked in swimming and running that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through, after a time I grew bored.


While I really liked that in swimming and running that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through, after a timwhile I grew bored.

putting "that" and "in" together makes the sentence much easier to understand; "after a while" is a much more common/natural expression

While I really liked in swimming and running that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through in swimming and running, after a time I grew bored.

You could begin the sentence with "While I really liked THAT in swimming and running..." However it reads more clearly when you switch these two around

Whileat I really liked in swimming and running was that I needed a strong mindset to keep pushing through, but after a time I grew bored.

I remember, when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated.


I remember, I was fascinated when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated.

putting "when I...climbing" in the middle of the sentence sounds a bit stilted or awkward

I remember, when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated.

I remember I was fascinated, when I first went wall climbing, I was fascinated.

I remember I was fascinated, when I first went wall climbing. No need to have too many clauses nested between each other.

I was amazed how creatively you could move around and how you have to think, to plan out your moves before starting.


I was amazed by how creatively you could move around, and how you have to think, to plan out your moves before starting.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

On my free afternoons I usually go out with my friends to play volleyball and basketball.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Unlike the sports mentioned before, these team sports require you to pay attention to you surroundings and react accordingly.


Unlike the sports mentioned before, these team sports require you to pay attention to your surroundings and react accordingly.

Unlike the sports mentioned before, these team sports require you to pay attention to your surroundings and react accordingly.

I also read a lot and like watching series, especially animes.


I also read a lot and like watching tv series, especially animes.

It's more common to specify "tv series"

I also read a lot and like watching TV series, especially animes.

"series" usually not used alone, even if you aren't watching them on TV

Right now I'm reading The Black Company from Glen Cook.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It has been really interesting so far, I love how the characters are so complex and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.


It has been really interesting so far, I love how the characters are so complex, and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.

The second comma should go before "and" as that is a separate thought

It has been really interesting so far, I love how the characters are so complex and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.

You can also say "I love how complex rhe characters are and how..."

It has been really interesting so far, I love how complex the characters are so complex and how it shows, that there is no such thing as pure evil.

It has been really interesting so far, I love how complex the characters are and how it shows that there is no such thing as pure evil.

You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.

Go Premium