Aug. 12, 2021
My Favourite Thing
Dear Alice,
I'm perfectly willing to tell you something about my favourite thing from childhood. It's a piece of paper with my old friend's drawing on it. I've kept it since she left me with it as a goodbye gift.
It reminds me of the time we spent together. We used to walk along the streets when the front porch lights were shining bright. Also, we used to sneak into somewhere that our parents didn't allow us to go. However, one day she told me that her mom was asked to work in yhe other side of the city, so her family had to move house. I couldn't believe my ears, and after her leaving, I've never had enough courage to stare at that drawing again.
I know it's long gone, but the magic og friendship will still be there, forever and ever. And I remember it all too well.
Yours,
Luna
My Favourite Thing
Dear Alice,
I'm perfectly willing to tell you something about my favourite thing from childhood.
It's a piece of paper with my old friend's drawing on it.
I've kept it since she left me with it as a goodbye gift.
It reminds me of the time we spent together.
We used to walk along the streets when the front porch lights were shining bright.
Also, we used to sneak into somewhere that our parents didn't allow us to go.
Just be aware "sneak into somewhere" sounds like you are talking about one particular place.
If you mean 'places in general', it would be better to say "sneak into places".
However, one day she told me that her mom was asked to work in ythe other side of the city, so her family had to move house.
I couldn't believe my ears, and after her leaving, I've never had enough courage to stare at that drawing again.
Be aware, "to stare" means to look at (intensely or purposefully) for an amount of time.
If you mean you didn't have the courage to look at it briefly, you should say,
"...had the courage to look/glance at that drawing again."
I know it's long gone, but the magic ogf our friendship will still be there, forever and ever.
And I remember it all too well.
Yours,
Luna
Feedback
I like your writing style!
If you have any questions about my corrections, please don't hesitate to ask.
Aug. 15, 2021
Thank youuuuuu!
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My Favourite Thing This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Dear Alice, This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I'm perfectly willing to tell you something about my favourite thing from childhood. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's a piece of paper with my old friend's drawing on it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I've kept it since she left me with it as a goodbye gift. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It reminds me of the time we spent together. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We used to walk along the streets when the front porch lights were shining bright. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Also, we used to sneak into somewhere that our parents didn't allow us to go. Also, we used to sneak into somewhere that our parents didn't allow us to go. Just be aware "sneak into somewhere" sounds like you are talking about one particular place. If you mean 'places in general', it would be better to say "sneak into places". |
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However, one day she told me that her mom was asked to work in yhe other side of the city, so her family had to move house. However, one day she told me that her mom was asked to work in |
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I couldn't believe my ears, and after her leaving, I've never had enough courage to stare at that drawing again. I couldn't believe my ears, and after her leaving, I've never had enough courage to stare at that drawing again. Be aware, "to stare" means to look at (intensely or purposefully) for an amount of time. If you mean you didn't have the courage to look at it briefly, you should say, "...had the courage to look/glance at that drawing again." |
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I know it's long gone, but the magic og friendship will still be there, forever and ever. I know it's long gone, but the magic o |
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And I remember it all too well. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Yours, This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Luna This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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