June 22, 2024
My Dad: part 1
Every man has his own role model. Some see them in athletes, Hollywood actors, famous businessmen, and so on. However, for me, it has always been my dad. He was born in a small town in the western part of Russia and grew up in a modest family. His favorite hobbies were reading and playing football, and he has kept up the former to this day, resulting in broad erudition and excellent Russian language skills.
Regarding his upbringing, after finishing school, he initially struggled to get into university to study law. After his first attempt failed, he took a year off to prepare, working at a factory to support himself. His determination and courage to pursue his aspirations shaped who he is today. He eventually succeeded in his second attempt to enter university. He had to travel northeast to Sverdlovsk (now known as Yekaterinburg), but that part of the story will be continued later...
My Dad: part 1
Every man has his own role model.
Some see them in athletes, Hollywood actors, famous businessmen, and so on.
However, for me, it has always been my dad.
He was born in a small town in the western part of Russia and grew up in a modest family.
His favorite hobbies were reading and playing football, and he has kept up the former to this day, resulting in broad erudition and excellent Russian language skills.
Regarding his upbringing, after finishing school, he initially struggled to get into university to study law.
After his first attempt failed, he took a year off to prepare, working at a factory to support himself.
His determination and courage to pursue his aspirations shaped who he is today.
He eventually succeeded in his second attempt to enter university.
He had to travel northeast to Sverdlovsk (now known as Yekaterinburg), but that part of the story will be continued later...
My Dad: pPart 1
Regarding his upbringing, after finishing school, he initially struggled to get into university to study law.
This is grammatically correct but sounds overly formal.
I might just remove the "Regarding his upbringing" altogether. It's clear from context.
Feedback
I don't have much to correct, just minor notes. Your dad sounds like a wonderful human being. You are lucky.
My Dad: pPart 1
Every man has his own role model.
OR "Every man has their role model." If you're talking about all genders.
Some see them in athletes, Hollywood actors, famous businessmen, and so on.
However, for me, it has always been my dad.
He was born in a small town in the western part of Russia and grew up in a modest family.
His favorite hobbies were reading and playing football, and he has kept up the former to this day, resulting in broad erudition and excellent Russian language skills.
Regarding his upbringing, after finishing school, he initially struggled to get into university to study law.
After his first attempt failed, he took a year off to prepare, working at a factory to support himself.
His determination and courage to pursue his aspirations him into shaped who he is today.
He eEventually, he succeeded in his second attempt to enter university.
He had to travel northeast to Sverdlovsk (now known as Yekaterinburg), but that part of the story will be continued later...
Feedback
Good job! There are no grammatical errors. I only corrected for the flow of sentences.
June 22, 2024
Oh, I messed up a little. Sorry.
The sentence, "His determination and courage to pursue his aspirations him into shaped who he is today,"
should be "His determination and courage to pursue his aspirations shaped him into who he is today."
"Shaped him into who he is today" is a common English saying.
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He had to travel northeast to Sverdlovsk (now known as Yekaterinburg), but that part of the story will be continued later... This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My Dad: part 1 My Dad: My Dad: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Every man has his own role model. Every man has his OR "Every man has their role model." If you're talking about all genders. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Some see them in athletes, Hollywood actors, famous businessmen, and so on. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
However, for me, it has always been my dad. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He was born in a small town in the western part of Russia and grew up in a modest family. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
His favorite hobbies were reading and playing football, and he has kept up the former to this day, resulting in broad erudition and excellent Russian language skills. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Regarding his upbringing, after finishing school, he initially struggled to get into university to study law. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Regarding his upbringing, after finishing school, he initially struggled to get into university to study law. This is grammatically correct but sounds overly formal. I might just remove the "Regarding his upbringing" altogether. It's clear from context. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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After his first attempt failed, he took a year off to prepare, working at a factory to support himself. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
His determination and courage to pursue his aspirations shaped who he is today. His determination and courage to pursue his aspirations him into shaped who he is today. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He eventually succeeded in his second attempt to enter university.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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