July 8, 2021
My Cambodia Journal
My mother and I were riding on elephants was in Cambodia. Around 10 minutes away to an entrance of Angkor Wat, which was famous World Heritage site, we could ride on the elephants. It was a little scary, but I was so excited and felt amuse with it.
Angkor Wat was splendid structures and so large that our guide explained a lot about its history, but we became really tired because of hot weather in summer. After that, the guide took us a small water restaurant by a boat. She told us that there were huge crocodiles in that river long time ago, but they were killed and now it was safe to swim. To tell the truth, I was frightened when I heard it and tried not to fell to a river.
Another big event to us was to got on a hot-air balloon, which was connected with metal wire not to fry feely high. It raised us around 30 yards high so quickly and we enjoyed ourselves by seeing a marvelous Cambodia landscape. It could stay there was only 15 minutes, though it was an unforgettable experience for us.
Overall, travel to Cambodia was successful!
My Cambodia Journal
My mother and I were riding onrode elephants was in Cambodia.
AIt was around 10 minutes away tofrom an entrance of Angkor Wat, which was a famous World Heritage site, we could ride on the elephants.
Already mentioned riding elephants in the previous sentence, don't need to say it again.
It was a little scary, but I was so excited and felt amuse withd by it.
Angkor Wat was large and full of splendid structures and so large that our guide explained a lot about it. Our guide tried to explain the temple's history, but we became really tired because of hot weather in summthe hot summer weather.
Lots of information in the same sentence, reads better when spilt.
After that, the guide took us to a small water restaurant by a boat.
She told us that there were huge crocodiles living in that river a long time ago, but they were killed and now it wasit is now safe to swim in.
To tell the truth, I was frightened when I heard ishe said that and tried hard not to feall into a rivthe water.
Another big event to us was to got on a hot-air balloon, which was connected with metal wire not to fry feelyexciting part of our trip was when we got to ride on a hot-air balloon. The balloon was tied with metal wire so it won't fly too high.
It raised us around 30 yards high so quickly and we enjoyed ourselves by seeingup into the air very quickly. It took us around 30 yards high. We enjoyed the view of a marvelous Cambodian landscape.
It could stay there was onlyonly stay in the air for 15 minutes, though. Even so, it was an unforgettable experience for us.
Overall, travelour trip to Cambodia was successfulgreat!
July 8, 2021
Thank you so much for your correction. Your way is much stylish and academic. I hope that someday I could type better writing like you correction. Have a good night!!!
July 9, 2021
I'm glad to help! Wish you best of luck with your English studies.
My Cambodia Journal
My mother and I were ridingrode on elephants was in Cambodia.
Past progressive doesn't make much sense here, there's no focus on a moment when this was in progress, it's just something that you did. Compare to something like "We were riding on elephants when we ran into the King of Cambodia".
Around 10 minutes away tofrom an entrance tof Angkor Wat, which wasis a famous World Heritage site, we could ride on the elephants.
It *is* a famous world heritage site, it still exists - "was" makes it sound like this is something that was only true in the past. Like it got blown up and doesn't exist any more :)
Probably a little more natural to say "from one of the entrances to Angkor Wat", but this is okay.
It was a little scary, but I was so excited and felt amuse withd by it.
Angkor Wat was full of splendid structures and so large that o! Our guide explained a lot about its history, but we became really tired because of the hot weather in summer.
"that" doesn't fit here, the consequence isn't clear. You would say something like "Angkor Wat was so large _that_ we couldn't see it all" - one thing caused the other.
After that, the guide took us to a small water restaurant by a boat.
The restaurant was on a boat, I think? You would probably say "floating restaurant", but this is okay :)
She told us that there were huge crocodiles in that river a long time ago, but they were killed and now it was safe to swim.
To tell the truth, I was frightened when I heard it and tried not to feall to ain the river.
"fell" would be correct if you needed past tense, but you wanted to-infinitive.
Another big event to us was to gotwas getting on a hot-air balloon, which was connectedtied down with metal wire not to fry feelyto not fly too high.
Many little tweaks to this one :)
It raised us around 30 yards high, so quickly a! And we enjoyed ourselves by seeing a marvelous Cambodian landscape.
"so quickly" works as a kind of exclamation, like you're reacting to what you said. So it sort of interrupts the sentence. "Cambodian" is better to use here, as it's an adjective.
It could only stay there was onlyfor 15 minutes, though it was an unforgettable experience for us.
Overall, our travel to Cambodia was successful!
"successful" is a bit strange here. Difficult to explain why... like, success or failure is an all or nothing thing. You were successful in getting to Cambodia - you got there - or you failed - you missed the flight and stayed home. For something like the *quality* of your holiday, how much you enjoyed yourself, is it a 4/10 or a 7/10 or a 10/10 holiday, it doesn't fit very well. It's okay, but you'd be more likely to say something like "Overall, our trip to Cambodia was wonderful!"
Feedback
It sounds like you had a great time :)
July 8, 2021
Yes, my mother and I had a really good time in Cambodia. Thank you so much for your correction and explanation why my sentence was wrong or strange. Especially, your comment said that I used "successful" isn't appropriate. That was easy to understand for me and I won't forget about this. You are very good at teaching grammar. Have a good night!!!
July 8, 2021
Glad to help!
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My Cambodia Journal This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My mother and I were riding on elephants was in Cambodia. My mother and I Past progressive doesn't make much sense here, there's no focus on a moment when this was in progress, it's just something that you did. Compare to something like "We were riding on elephants when we ran into the King of Cambodia". My mother and I |
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Around 10 minutes away to an entrance of Angkor Wat, which was famous World Heritage site, we could ride on the elephants. Around 10 minutes away It *is* a famous world heritage site, it still exists - "was" makes it sound like this is something that was only true in the past. Like it got blown up and doesn't exist any more :) Probably a little more natural to say "from one of the entrances to Angkor Wat", but this is okay.
Already mentioned riding elephants in the previous sentence, don't need to say it again. |
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It was a little scary, but I was so excited and felt amuse with it. It was a little scary, but I was so excited and felt amuse It was a little scary, but I was so excited and felt amuse |
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Angkor Wat was splendid structures and so large that our guide explained a lot about its history, but we became really tired because of hot weather in summer. Angkor Wat was full of splendid structures and so large "that" doesn't fit here, the consequence isn't clear. You would say something like "Angkor Wat was so large _that_ we couldn't see it all" - one thing caused the other. Angkor Wat was large and full of splendid structures Lots of information in the same sentence, reads better when spilt. |
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After that, the guide took us a small water restaurant by a boat. After that, the guide took us to a small water restaurant by a boat. The restaurant was on a boat, I think? You would probably say "floating restaurant", but this is okay :) After that, the guide took us to a small water restaurant by a boat. |
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She told us that there were huge crocodiles in that river long time ago, but they were killed and now it was safe to swim. She told us that there were huge crocodiles in that river a long time ago, but they were killed and now it was safe to swim. She told us that there were huge crocodiles living in that river a long time ago, but they were killed and |
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To tell the truth, I was frightened when I heard it and tried not to fell to a river. To tell the truth, I was frightened when I heard it and tried not to f "fell" would be correct if you needed past tense, but you wanted to-infinitive. To tell the truth, I was frightened when |
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Another big event to us was to got on a hot-air balloon, which was connected with metal wire not to fry feely high. Another big event Many little tweaks to this one :) Another |
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It raised us around 30 yards high so quickly and we enjoyed ourselves by seeing a marvelous Cambodia landscape. It raised us around 30 yards high, so quickly "so quickly" works as a kind of exclamation, like you're reacting to what you said. So it sort of interrupts the sentence. "Cambodian" is better to use here, as it's an adjective. It raised us |
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It could stay there was only 15 minutes, though it was an unforgettable experience for us. It could only stay there It could |
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Overall, travel to Cambodia was successful! Overall, our travel to Cambodia was successful! "successful" is a bit strange here. Difficult to explain why... like, success or failure is an all or nothing thing. You were successful in getting to Cambodia - you got there - or you failed - you missed the flight and stayed home. For something like the *quality* of your holiday, how much you enjoyed yourself, is it a 4/10 or a 7/10 or a 10/10 holiday, it doesn't fit very well. It's okay, but you'd be more likely to say something like "Overall, our trip to Cambodia was wonderful!" Overall, |
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