Feb. 21, 2022
When I woke up, I looked at the open window and saw the moonlight on the roofs of the taller houses. There was that strange feeling again. I hid my face in the shadows, away from the moonlight, but I failed to fall asleep. I kept thinking about that nagging feeling. Both of us woke up twice that night, but in the end my wife fell soundly asleep, her face beaming in the moonlight. I wanted to put my thoughts in order but was absolutely dazed. Life had seemed so simple in the morning when I woke up and saw the early signs of spring and heard the flute of the goatherd interwoven with the rustling of the leaves. However, this was an ancient city and nothing in it was simple, neither poverty, nor sudden riches, nor good, nor evil, not even the rhythmic breathing sounds of the person lying beside my under the pale moonlight.
When I woke up, I looked aout the open window and saw the moonlight on the rooftops of the taller houses.
There's an opportunity to describe how the moonlight hits the rooftops. "...moonlight spilling over the rooftops...", "...moonlight resting upon the rooftops...", "...moonlight illuminating the rooftops..."
Life had seemed so simple in thethat morning when I woke up and saw thetook in early signs of spring and heard, listened to the flute of the goatherd interwoven with the rustling of the leaves.
Flute of goatherd? Do you mean the "bleating of the goat herd"? If so, bleating is an unpleasant word. I might say "muffled bleating" or "soft bleating" if you're going for a nice sensation.
However, this was an ancient city and nothing in it was simple, neither poverty, nor sudden riches, norot the rich nor poor, not the good, nor the evil, not even the sounds of rhythmic breathing sounds of the person lying beside mye under the pale moonlight.
I don't typically think of poverty, riches, good, evil, as things that can be "complicated" (opposite of simple). The meaning is not totally clear. I might just redo this sentence or break it into multiple sentences for clarity.
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Great writing!
Moonlight
When I woke up, I looked at(/out of) the open window and saw the moonlight on the roofs of (the) taller houses.
Depends on how/where you were looking out of the window
There was that strange feeling again.
I hid my face in the shadows, away from the moonlight, but I failed to fall asleep.
I kept thinking about that nagging feeling.
Both of usWe both woke up twice that night, but in the end, my wife fell soundly asleep, her face beaming(/glowing) in the moonlight.
I wanted to put my thoughts in order but was absolucompletely dazed.
Life (had) seemed so simple in the morning when I woke up and saw the early signs of spring and heard the flute of the goatherd, interwoven with the rustling of the leaves.
The sentence is a bit lot but still correct :)
However, this was an ancient city and nothing in it was simple, neither. Not poverty, nor sudden riches, nor good, nor evil, not even the rhythmic breathing sounds of the person lying beside mye under the pale moonlight.
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Your writing is beautiful, really enjoyed reading :)
Moonlight This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
When I woke up, I looked at the open window and saw the moonlight on the roofs of the taller houses. When I woke up, I looked at(/out of) the open window and saw the moonlight on the roofs of (the) taller houses. Depends on how/where you were looking out of the window When I woke up, I looked There's an opportunity to describe how the moonlight hits the rooftops. "...moonlight spilling over the rooftops...", "...moonlight resting upon the rooftops...", "...moonlight illuminating the rooftops..." |
There was that strange feeling again. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
I hid my face in the shadows, away from the moonlight, but I failed to fall asleep. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
I kept thinking about that nagging feeling. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Both of us woke up twice that night, but in the end my wife fell soundly asleep, her face beaming in the moonlight.
|
I wanted to put my thoughts in order but was absolutely dazed. I wanted to put my thoughts in order but was |
Life had seemed so simple in the morning when I woke up and saw the early signs of spring and heard the flute of the goatherd interwoven with the rustling of the leaves. Life (had) seemed so simple in the morning when I woke up and saw the early signs of spring and heard the flute of the goatherd, interwoven with the rustling of the leaves. The sentence is a bit lot but still correct :) Life had seemed so simple Flute of goatherd? Do you mean the "bleating of the goat herd"? If so, bleating is an unpleasant word. I might say "muffled bleating" or "soft bleating" if you're going for a nice sensation. |
However, this was an ancient city and nothing in it was simple, neither poverty, nor sudden riches, nor good, nor evil, not even the rhythmic breathing sounds of the person lying beside my under the pale moonlight. However, this was an ancient city and nothing in it was simple However, this was an ancient city and nothing in it was simple, n I don't typically think of poverty, riches, good, evil, as things that can be "complicated" (opposite of simple). The meaning is not totally clear. I might just redo this sentence or break it into multiple sentences for clarity. |
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