July 26, 2023
Mon essai pour traduire les paroles d'une chanson
Et il vole au-dessus la Terre, un spectre!
Le sol devient la poussière, les racines deviennent les cendres!
Détruisez, destructeur divin!
Détruisez, destructeur divin!
Détruisez, oh, détruisez!
Les saisons changent avec l'angle de votre coup d'œil, les lois de nature gelées dans ton chemin!
D'où as-tu venu?!
Vous nous ruinez avec le manque et la famine, mais vous nous bercez comme un enfant!
Plus que autre chose qui vit, et respire, et appelle notre nom!
Le saint patron du néant!
O, terreur! O, exuvium!
[This song is called AMARANTHINE [better an apocalypse] by Crywolf. This is the ending of the song.]
[This is likely not a perfect translation, as it might be a bit stiff due to me consulting a French-English dictionary. It's also not meant to be sung, it's just meant to carry the prose that the song had provided.]
And he floats above the Earth, a spectre!
Soil to dust and roots to ash!
Destroy, divine destroyer!
Destroy, divine destroyer!
Destroy, oh, destroy!
The seasons shift with the angle of your glance, laws of nature rendered frozen in your path!
From where have you come?!
You ruin us with dearth and famine, yet you cradle us like a child!
More than anything else that lives, and breathes, and calls our name!
Patron saint of the void!
O, terror! O, exuvium!
Mon essai poura tentative de traduire les paroles d'une chanson
An attempt to do something very often is "une tentative de faire quelque chose"
Et il vole au-dessus de la Terre, un spectre !
Au-dessus DE quelque chose
Le sol devient la poussière, les racines deviennent les cendres !
It's kind of an archaic set usage where no article means "poussière" and "cendres" in general. You also have this in "tu es né poussière et tu redeviendras poussière"
Détruisez, destructeur divin !
Détruisez, destructeur divin !
Détruisez, oh, détruisez !
Les saisons changent avec (l'angle de) votre coup d'œilregard, les lois de la nature gelées dans tonse figent sur votre chemin !
In such a context, "se figer" and "regard" would be better IMO
Someone is "SUR un chemin"
D'où as-tuêtes-vous venu ?!
"venir" and all movement verbs work with "être" as an auxiliary verb. Exceptions are verbs emphasizing the way a movement is done, like "courir" or "voler" (these require "avoir")
Vous nous ruinaffligez avec lea manqueort et la famine, mais vous nous bercez comme undes enfants !
"ruiner quelqu'un" pretty much always means "to make them bankrupt". "Affliger" means forcing someone to go through very unpleasant things
Death = la mort
Since a "we" is talking, the plural would be better in French ("des enfants")
Plus que toute autre chose qui vit, et respire, et appelle/prononce notre nom !
"toute" is needed to translate the "any-" part here
Le saint patron du néant !
OÔ, terreur !
The vocative "ô" has an accent circonflexe
OÔ, exuviumdépouille !
I suppose it referred to the Latin word "exuviae", which would be "dépouille" in French
Feedback
I tried to stay quite literal in the translation, without adapting it much, while trying to keep it natural given the context. That should do it!
July 26, 2023
Ah, thank you for your help! I didn't even realize that I kept accidentally switching between tutoyer and vouvoyer the entire time, whoops. I should've kept the whole thing in vouvoyer like you had because I think it would make the most sense, sometimes my brain just forgets to check that tick since using tutoyer is kind of like a default due to online conversations. (Also forgetting about maison d'être was definitely a frustrating moment.) Incredible work! Thank you!
July 26, 2023
Yes, it's totally normal for English speakers not to have the reflex to switch between tutoiement and vouvoiement. I don't really know the context of the song, but if they're addressing some kind of higher power/supernatural being, "tu" would've been right too. A lot of French speakers address God using "tu". It's friendlier and more intimate. "Vous" is totally right though, especially if you want to express respect and/or submissiveness, as the vouvoiement definitely creates more distant and hierarchical relationship. It's an interesting case where choosing one form or the other will bring a different sylistical effect to a text.
And you're welcome ;-)
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D'où as-tu venu?! D'où "venir" and all movement verbs work with "être" as an auxiliary verb. Exceptions are verbs emphasizing the way a movement is done, like "courir" or "voler" (these require "avoir") |
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Mon essai pour traduire les paroles d'une chanson M An attempt to do something very often is "une tentative de faire quelque chose" |
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Et il vole au-dessus la Terre, un spectre! Et il vole au-dessus de la Terre, un spectre ! Au-dessus DE quelque chose |
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Le sol devient la poussière, les racines deviennent les cendres! Le sol devient It's kind of an archaic set usage where no article means "poussière" and "cendres" in general. You also have this in "tu es né poussière et tu redeviendras poussière" |
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Détruisez, destructeur divin! Détruisez, destructeur divin ! |
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Détruisez, destructeur divin! Détruisez, destructeur divin ! |
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Détruisez, oh, détruisez! Détruisez, oh, détruisez ! |
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Les saisons changent avec l'angle de votre coup d'œil, les lois de nature gelées dans ton chemin! Les saisons changent avec (l'angle de) votre In such a context, "se figer" and "regard" would be better IMO Someone is "SUR un chemin" |
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Vous nous ruinez avec le manque et la famine, mais vous bercez comme un enfant! |
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Plus que autre chose qui vit, et respire, et appelle notre nom! Plus que toute autre chose qui vit, et respire, et appelle/prononce notre nom ! "toute" is needed to translate the "any-" part here |
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Le saint patron du néant! Le saint patron du néant ! |
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O, terreur!
The vocative "ô" has an accent circonflexe |
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O, exuvium!
I suppose it referred to the Latin word "exuviae", which would be "dépouille" in French |
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Vous nous ruinez avec le manque et la famine, mais vous nous bercez comme un enfant! Vous nous "ruiner quelqu'un" pretty much always means "to make them bankrupt". "Affliger" means forcing someone to go through very unpleasant things Death = la mort Since a "we" is talking, the plural would be better in French ("des enfants") |
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