Sept. 6, 2020
Mobile game
Last four months, I've really into a mobile game named "Magia Record", is based on the famous anime series "Madoka Magica".
The story is about magical girls struggling with the fates to die in return for making their dreams.
The game was 3rd anniversary two weeks ago, so people were excited at a commemorative event. However, it was suddenly announced that English-dubbed version are going to close.
Naturally, players of English-dubbed version were upset and angry at the news, and claimed that the inventors should extend it.
But now, some people are moving to Japanese version, and others start a signature campaign to request taking back.
I hope that they can keep enjoying it without wasting their time and money.
この四か月間、かの有名な「魔法少女まどかマギカ」を基にした「マギアレコード」というゲームにハマっている。
魔法少女が夢を叶えた代償として与えられる死の運命と闘うストーリーになっている。
このゲームは二週間前に３周年を迎え、多くの人が記念イベントに熱中していた。しかし突然、北米版がサービス終了になることが告知された。
当然、北米版プレイヤーは困惑し憤り、開発者にサービスを延長するよう主張した。
しかし今や、日本語版に移る人やサービス継続を嘆願する署名活動をしている人もいる。
彼らがこれまで費やしたお金と時間を無駄にすることなくゲームを楽しみ続けられることを願っている。
Mobile game
LFor the last four months, I've been really into a mobile game named "Magia Record", which is based on the famous anime series "Madoka Magica".
The story is about magical girls struggling with their fates to die, which are forced on them in return for making their dreams come true.
(I haven't played the mobile game so I don't know if it's exactly the same as the original anime.) The plot for Madoka Magica can be hard to explain in one sentence, but I think my correction makes it more clear that the "fates to die" and "making their dreams true" is a tradeoff. People unfamiliar with the anime/game might think you are saying that they are struggling in order to achieve their dreams, when the order is opposite.
Another way to rewrite this is: "The story is about magical girls who are granted any wish they desire, but in return must fight against witches until their death."
The game wahad its 3rd anniversary two weeks ago, so people were excited about a commemorative event.
However, it was suddenly announced that the English-dubbed version areis going to close.
"shut down" or "be discontinued" are often used in these contexts instead of "close", but any of them works.
"English-dubbed" usually implies just an English version of the voice acting, but I think you mean the North American servers? If this is the case just "English version" might be better because it makes it clear the whole game is closing rather than just losing the English voices. Or you could just say "the North American server is going to close."
Naturally, players of the English-dubbed version were upset and angry at the news, and claimed that the inventorscompany should extend its lifetime.
"inventor" is usually applied to someone who has come up with/ created something like a new machine or process. In this case "the company" or "the developers" fits better.
"demanded" might fit the tone of this sentence better than "claimed" because it shows the forcefulness/ anger the players have. If "demanded" is too strong then "argued" is another option.
But now, some people are moving to the Japanese version, and others started a signature campaign to request taking backhe English version's continuation.
I hope that they can keep enjoying it without wasting their time and money.
Feedback
Great job! I didn't know there was a mobile game. I liked the original anime series and movie trilogy, but I think it would be hard to expand the story ideas.
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Mobile game This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Last four months, I've really into a mobile game named "Magia Record", is based on the famous anime series "Madoka Magica".
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The story is about magical girls struggling with the fates to die in return for making their dreams. The story is about magical girls struggling with their fates to die, which are forced on them in return for making their dreams come true. (I haven't played the mobile game so I don't know if it's exactly the same as the original anime.) The plot for Madoka Magica can be hard to explain in one sentence, but I think my correction makes it more clear that the "fates to die" and "making their dreams true" is a tradeoff. People unfamiliar with the anime/game might think you are saying that they are struggling in order to achieve their dreams, when the order is opposite. Another way to rewrite this is: "The story is about magical girls who are granted any wish they desire, but in return must fight against witches until their death." |
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The game was 3rd anniversary two weeks ago, so people were excited at a commemorative event. The game |
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However, it was suddenly announced that English-dubbed version are going to close. However, it was suddenly announced that the English-dubbed version "shut down" or "be discontinued" are often used in these contexts instead of "close", but any of them works. "English-dubbed" usually implies just an English version of the voice acting, but I think you mean the North American servers? If this is the case just "English version" might be better because it makes it clear the whole game is closing rather than just losing the English voices. Or you could just say "the North American server is going to close." |
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Naturally, players of English-dubbed version were upset and angry at the news, and claimed that the inventors should extend it. Naturally, players of the English-dubbed version were upset and angry at the news "inventor" is usually applied to someone who has come up with/ created something like a new machine or process. In this case "the company" or "the developers" fits better. "demanded" might fit the tone of this sentence better than "claimed" because it shows the forcefulness/ anger the players have. If "demanded" is too strong then "argued" is another option. |
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But now, some people are moving to Japanese version, and others start a signature campaign to request taking back. But now, some people are moving to the Japanese version, and others started a signature campaign to request t |
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I hope that they can keep enjoying it without wasting their time and money. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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