shiera's avatar
shiera

Feb. 8, 2020

0
Memory

I went to see Cat's, a musical movie.
I've watched a musical Cat's by Japanese actors a long ago. I was into "Memory", one of famous songs in this musical. I can cry just listening to it. I used to listen before going to bed every night. I listened to an English "Memory" but couldn't catch any word except for memory.
Yesterday I watched the movie with Japanese subtitles and listened to English lines. When the scene an actress sings "Memory" started, I understood English words a little and my tears started shedding. I wanted to cry loudly but the others around me were watching silently, so I cried while stifling my voice. When the actress sang the climax of this song wholeheartedly, my tears spouted like a fountain and my snot flew down like a waterfall, still I tried to subdue my voice. Then, there was a heavy flood on my face. I thought I was going to be choked to death.
I knew there was little time to the ending after the scene so I had to wipe up the flood somehow quickly before my friend notice it. I was busy blowing nose and pretending to be coughing sayig "I feel cold" even though the air-conditioner was working well.
When the movie finished and the light came on, I said with style "that's amazing. I was moved and about to cry" to the friend.
I hope she didn't notice I had cried buckets.

Corrections

Memory

I went to see Cat's, athe musical movie"Cats".

I've watched a musical Cat'sit performed by Japanese actors once a long time ago.

I was'm into "Memory", one of the most famous songs in this musical.

I can cry just listening to it.

I used to listen to it before going to bed every night.

I listened to an English version of "Memory" but couldn't catch any words except for "memory".

Yesterday I watched the movie with Japanese subtitles and listened to the English linesdialogue.

When the scene ain actress singswhich "Memory" is sung started, I understood English words a little and my tearswas able to understand some of the English, and I started shedding tears.

I wanted to cry loudly, but the others around me were watching silently, so I cried while stiflinged my voicecrying.

When the actress sangreached the climax of thise song, she put her whole heartedly, my tears spouted like a fountain into it, and my face became a fountain, tears spouting and my snot flew downowing like a waterfall, s. Still I tried to subdue my voice.

Then, there was a heavy flood on my faceit was like my face was flooding.

I thought I was going to be choked to death.

I knew there was little time left to the ending after the scene, so I had to wipe up the flood somehow quickly before my friend noticed it.

I was busy blowing my nose and pretending to be coughing, saying "I feel cold" even though the air-conditioner was working wenormally.

When the movie finished and the lights came on, I said with style, "tThat' was amazing. I was moved and about to cryalmost moved to tears" to themy friend.

I hope she didn't notice I had cried buckets.

shiera's avatar
shiera

Feb. 9, 2020

0

Thank you fo the correction.

Memory

I went to see "Cat's", a musical movie.

It might sound more natural if you mentioned the time, like yesterday or today.

I've had watched athe musical Cat's by Japanese actors a long time ago.

I was'm into "Memory", one ofa famous songs in from this musical.

Since your next sentence is in the present tense, it felt a bit odd to me that this line wasn't, but maybe I'm wrong about this.

I can cry just listening to it.

I used to listen to it before going to bed every night.

I listened to anthe English "Memory", but couldn't catch any word except for 'memory'.

There's only one English version I think, so you need to use the definite article.

Yesterday, I watched the movie with Japanese subtitles and listened to the English lines.

When the scene an actressactress started to sings "Memory" started, I understood the English words a little and my tears startedbegan to shedding.

Or if you want to use "scene": When the scene started where the actress sang "Memory"...

I wanted to cry out loudly, but the otherspeople around me were watching silently, so I cried while stifling my voice.

When the actress sang the climax of thise song wholeheartedly, my tears spouted like a fountain and my snot flew down like a waterfall,. Yet I still I tried to subdue my voice.

Then, there was a heavy flood on my facemy face almost got flooded in tears.

I don't think "flood" can be used to describe such an emotion. Sorry I can't think of a good substitute for this line, this is the best I could come up with. Just so you know, the correction I made isn't natural sounding in regular conversation.

I thought I was going to be choked to death.

I knew there was little time to the ending after the scene, so I had to quickly wipe up the floodtears somehow quickly before my friend notice itd them.

I was busy blowing my nose and pretending to be coughing sayigng, "I feel cold" even though the air-conditioner was working wellfine.

When the movie finished and the lights came on, I said with style, "tThat' was amazing. I was moved and about to cry" to themy friend.

I hope she didn't notice I had cried buckets.

Feedback

Nicely written!
I just watched Memory on Youtube just now, and near the 3 minute mark when she entered the climax! Damn I wasn't expecting that. That was really powerful!

shiera's avatar
shiera

Feb. 8, 2020

0

Thank you for the correction. Yes she is very good. I also watched it on youtube repeatedly and crying (≧▽≦)

Memory


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I went to see Cat's, a musical movie.


I went to see "Cat's", a musical movie.

It might sound more natural if you mentioned the time, like yesterday or today.

I went to see Cat's, athe musical movie"Cats".

I've watched a musical Cat's by Japanese actors a long ago.


I've had watched athe musical Cat's by Japanese actors a long time ago.

I've watched a musical Cat'sit performed by Japanese actors once a long time ago.

I was into "Memory", one of famous songs in this musical.


I was'm into "Memory", one ofa famous songs in from this musical.

Since your next sentence is in the present tense, it felt a bit odd to me that this line wasn't, but maybe I'm wrong about this.

I was'm into "Memory", one of the most famous songs in this musical.

I can cry just listening to it.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I used to listen before going to bed every night.


I used to listen to it before going to bed every night.

I used to listen to it before going to bed every night.

I listened to an English "Memory" but couldn't catch any word except for memory.


I listened to anthe English "Memory", but couldn't catch any word except for 'memory'.

There's only one English version I think, so you need to use the definite article.

I listened to an English version of "Memory" but couldn't catch any words except for "memory".

Yesterday I watched the movie with Japanese subtitles and listened to English lines.


Yesterday, I watched the movie with Japanese subtitles and listened to the English lines.

Yesterday I watched the movie with Japanese subtitles and listened to the English linesdialogue.

When the scene an actress sings "Memory" started, I understood English words a little and my tears started shedding.


When the scene an actressactress started to sings "Memory" started, I understood the English words a little and my tears startedbegan to shedding.

Or if you want to use "scene": When the scene started where the actress sang "Memory"...

When the scene ain actress singswhich "Memory" is sung started, I understood English words a little and my tearswas able to understand some of the English, and I started shedding tears.

I wanted to cry loudly but the others around me were watching silently, so I cried while stifling my voice.


I wanted to cry out loudly, but the otherspeople around me were watching silently, so I cried while stifling my voice.

I wanted to cry loudly, but the others around me were watching silently, so I cried while stiflinged my voicecrying.

When the actress sang the climax of this song wholeheartedly, my tears spouted like a fountain and my snot flew down like a waterfall, still I tried to subdue my voice.


When the actress sang the climax of thise song wholeheartedly, my tears spouted like a fountain and my snot flew down like a waterfall,. Yet I still I tried to subdue my voice.

When the actress sangreached the climax of thise song, she put her whole heartedly, my tears spouted like a fountain into it, and my face became a fountain, tears spouting and my snot flew downowing like a waterfall, s. Still I tried to subdue my voice.

Then, there was a heavy flood on my face.


Then, there was a heavy flood on my facemy face almost got flooded in tears.

I don't think "flood" can be used to describe such an emotion. Sorry I can't think of a good substitute for this line, this is the best I could come up with. Just so you know, the correction I made isn't natural sounding in regular conversation.

Then, there was a heavy flood on my faceit was like my face was flooding.

I thought I was going to be choked to death.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I thought I was going to be choked to death.

I knew there was little time to the ending after the scene so I had to wipe up the flood somehow quickly before my friend notice it.


I knew there was little time to the ending after the scene, so I had to quickly wipe up the floodtears somehow quickly before my friend notice itd them.

I knew there was little time left to the ending after the scene, so I had to wipe up the flood somehow quickly before my friend noticed it.

I was busy blowing nose and pretending to be coughing sayig "I feel cold" even though the air-conditioner was working well.


I was busy blowing my nose and pretending to be coughing sayigng, "I feel cold" even though the air-conditioner was working wellfine.

I was busy blowing my nose and pretending to be coughing, saying "I feel cold" even though the air-conditioner was working wenormally.

When the movie finished and the light came on, I said with style "that's amazing. I was moved and about to cry" to the friend.


When the movie finished and the lights came on, I said with style, "tThat' was amazing. I was moved and about to cry" to themy friend.

When the movie finished and the lights came on, I said with style, "tThat' was amazing. I was moved and about to cryalmost moved to tears" to themy friend.

I hope she didn't notice I had cried buckets.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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