Aug. 12, 2022
In my twenties and early thirties, I would go to the gym almost every day. It was something that I had always wished to do since I was in my early teens. Not that I was the kind of child who excels at sports, quite the opposite.
As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, or soccer as it’s called in some countries, that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper. In my defence I must say that at least I wasn’t a bad goalkeeper. Not only was I a hopeless case at playing football, but also at playing any team sports. At the school I went to study vocational training, I had the opportunity to do judo. The truth is that I became very interested in everything relate to martial arts. However, I was as good at doing judo as I was at playing football. To make things worse, I was the tallest, which doesn’t mean I was the strongest, judoka at my gym. This might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case it was a drawback. Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one, the brown and black belts always picked me out to fight against them. I spent more time on the floor than standing.
At nineteen years old, I began working. Earning money allowed to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing to since I was a teenager. After a few months lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and my upper arms. In just two years, I had gained more than fifteen kilos. After so many years not standing out in any sport, finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights. My body responded very fast and my appearance changed radically; from being a thin teenager, I became a very muscular person. I don’t like to show off. However I can’t help but saying that I was the envy of the gym. I worked out with such intensity and determination that every day several youngsters showed up to train with me. Sadly, all of this stops happening long ago.
After everything I have written, it’s quite easy to imagine what I felt like when a few days ago my older son asked me to go with him to his gym. I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do another ones. At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember those past days when I used to go to gym.
Memories from the Past
In my twenties and early thirties, I would go to the gym almost every day.
It was something that I had always wishanted to do sincefrom when I was in my early teens.
Not that I was the kind of child who excelswas good at sports, - quite the opposite.
As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, (or soccer as it’s called in some countries,) that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper.
In my defence, I musthave to say that at least I wasn’t a bad goalkeeper.
“Have to” has a more easygoing, casual feel than “must”.
Not only was I a hopeless case at playing football, but also at playing any team sports.
At the school I went to studyattended for vocational training, I had the opportunity to dotry judo.,
The truth isand it was there that I became very interested in everything related to martial arts.
I’ve connected this sentence to the previous one to make it read more smoothly.
However, I was as good at doingno better at judo asthan I was at playing football.
To make things worse, I was the tallest, which doesidn’t mean I was the strongest, judoka at my gym.
ThiHaving longer limbs might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case it was a drawback.
Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one, the brown and black belts always picked me out to fight against themto be their opponent.
I spent more time on the floor than standing.
At nineteen years old, I began working.
Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing twanted to do since I was a teenager.
After a few months lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and my upper arms.
In just two years, I had gained more than fifteen kilos.
After so many years of not standing out in any sport, I had finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights.my metier
My body responded very fast and my appearance changed radically; from being a thin teenager, I became a very muscular person.
I don’t like to show off.,¶
Hhowever I can’t help but saying that I was the envy of the gymother gym-goers.
I have combined this sentence with the previous one
I worked out with such intensity and determination that every day several youngsters showed up to train with me.
Sadly, all of this stopsped happening long ago.
After everything I have written, it’s quite easy toSo you can imagine whathow I felt like when a few days ago my older son asked me to go with him to his gym.
I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do another ones.
“Another” is singular, “others” is plural.
At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember those past days when I used to go to gymmy gym-going days.
Not to say that I was the kind of child who excelsled at sports, quite the opposite.
As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, (or soccer as it’s called in some countries,) that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper.
Easier to read with parentheses.
In my defence I must say that at least, I wasn’t a bad goalkeeperat it.
Replaced goalkeeper with "at it" to avoid repeating it in a consecutive sentence. This is just a stylistic suggestion!
Not onlyI was I a hopeless case not only at playing football, but also at playing any team sports.
At the school I went to studyfor vocational training, I had the opportunity to do judo.
The truth is that I became very interested in everything related to martial arts.
To make things/matters worse, I was the tallest, whichbut that doesn’t mean I was the strongest, judoka at my gym.
ThiHaving longer limbs might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case, it was a drawback.
Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one at that, the brown and black belts always picksingled me out to fight against them.
Earning money allowed to enroll at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing twanted to do since I was a teenager.
After so many years of not standing out in any sport, I had finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights.
My body responded very fast, and my appearance changed radically; from being. I went from a thin teenager, I became to a very muscular person.
Sadly, all of this stopsped happening long ago.
At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember those past days when I used to go tomy days back at the gym.
Feedback
A pleasure to read. It's cool that you're able to return to the gym to help your son figure out what works for him.
Memories from the Past
Memories = past events
Thus no need to clarify :]
In my twenties and early thirties, I would typically go to the gym almost every day.
Cohesion ! (Implies habitual)
It was somethingan activity that I had always wished to do since I was in my early teens.
This makes it sound a bit more natural! “My early teens” we like to possess it, similar to “my twenties” as you said before
Not that I was the kind of child who excelsled at sports, quite the opposite.
Would be past (excelled) because you are talking about yourself as a child in the past !
As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, or soccer as it’s called in some countries, and that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper.
In my defence I must say that at least I wasn’t a bad [at the position/at being goal keeper].
Because you said “I must say AT least”, and the use of ‘at’, it is natural for us to continue this with saying “at x y z” !
Not only was I a hopeless case at playing football, but also at playing any team sports.
Hopeless case is generally an insult at another person, however we usually only say “I was hopeless/I’m hopeless” it is not a common phrase to describe one as, but it is very popular as an insult/description of another
At the school I went to studyied vocational training, I also had the opportunity to do judo.
‘I went to’ is a past act prescribed to location Eg “I went to school”. It is only correct to say “I studied” !
Also as you are implying another opportunity you had (vocational training as the first, judo as the second).
The truth is that I became very interested in everything related to martial arts.
We always say “related” when talking about two things:
“Are you guys related?”
“How are these two things related to each other?”
Examples of relate:
“Can you relate to the text?”
“Who did you relate to?” (Like watching a film and discussing characters = emotional/personal connection)
However, I was as good at doing judo as I was at playing football.
To make things worse, I was the tallest, which doesn’t mean I was the strongest, at judoka at my gym.
Assuming judoka is a sport ! Would be in this way
This might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case it was a draw(major) setback.
Stylistic, grammatically we always say ‘setback’. Although drawback is technically correct, it is not popular
Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one, the brown and black belts always picksingled me out to fight (against them.).
‘Singled me out’ = targeted me (subject) (to bully/intimidate/ etc.)
You can say against them but this is implied through ‘to fight’
So formula for one correct use of this phrase: they always singled (subject, in this case ‘me’) out to (verb).
I spent more time on the floor than I spent standing.
Cohesion !
At nineteen years old, I began to working.
Working is correct, however ‘to work’ sounds more natural !
Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing to since I was a teenager.
When saying ‘allowed’ always clarify the subject after:
“Her mother allowed HER to go out with her friends.”
“My teacher allowed US to leave class early.”
After a few months lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and my upper arms.
In just two years, I had gained more than fifteen kilos.
After so many years of not standing out in any sport, finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights.
‘After so many months/years/weeks OF (this action/occurrence)’ <- formula
My body responded very fastrapidly and my appearance changed radically; from being a thin teenager, I became a veryto a muscular person.
Or you could say: “from being a thin teenager to a very muscular person”
I don’t usually like to show off.
However I can’t help but saying that I was the envy of the gym.
Wow !
I worked out with such intensity and determination that every day several youngsters showed up to train with me.
Sadly, all of this stops happeningped long ago.
This would be the only correct way to phrase it!
After everything I have written, it’s quite easy to imagine what I felt like when a few days ago my older son asked me to go with him to his gym.
I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do(try doing/do) another ones.
Either or ^
At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember those past days when I used to go to gym.memories.
Feedback
Wow ! Great work, hopefully your son adjusts soon and finds what works best for him 👌👌
Memories from the Past
In my twenties and early thirties, I would go to the gym almost every day.
It was something that I had always wished to do since I was in my early teens.
Not that I was the kind of child who excelsled at sports, quite the opposite.
As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, or soccer as it’s called in some countries, that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper.
In my defence, I must say that at least I wasn’t a bad goalkeeper.
Not only was I a hopeless case at playing football, but alsoI was also terrible at playing any team sports.
Usually "not only" is not followed by "but"
At the school I went towhere I studyied vocational training, I had the opportunity to do judo.
The truth is that I became very interested in everything relateing to martial arts.
However, I was as good at doing judo as I was at playing football.
To make things worse, I was the tallest, (which doesn’idn't mean I was the strongest,) judoka at my gym.
ThiHaving longer limbs might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case it was a drawback.
Flows better
Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one, the brown and black belts always picked me out to fight against them.
I spent more time on the floor than standing.
At nineteen years old, I began working.
Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing to since I was a teenager.
After a few months of lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and my upper arms.
In just two years, I had gained more than fifteen kilos.
After so many years of not standing out in any sport, I finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights.
My body responded very fast and my appearance changed radically; from being: I transformed from a thin teenager, I became into a very muscular person.
I don’t like to show off.
However I can’t help but saying that I was the envy of the gym.
I worked out with such intensity and determination that every day several youngsters showed up to train with me.
Sadly, all of this stopsped happening long ago.
AfterConsidering everything I have written, it’s quite easy to imagine what I felt like when a few days ago my older son asked me to go with him to his gym.
I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do another ones.
At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember those past days when I used to go to gym.
Memories from the Past
In my twenties and early thirties, I would go to the gym almost every day.
It was something that I had always wishanted to do since I was in my early teens.
Not that I was the kind of child who excelsled at sports, quite the opposite.
As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, (or soccer as it’s called in some countries,) that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper.
The way you used commas was fine, but brackets are a bit clearer and easier to read here.
In my defence I must say that at least, I wasn’t a bad goalkeeper.
Not only was I a hopeless case at playingat football, but also at playing any team sports in general.
At the school I went to studfor my vocational trainingeducation, I had the opportunity to do judo.
The truth is that I became very interested in everything related to martial arts.
However, I was as good at doing judo as I was at playing football.
To make thingmatters worse, I was the tallest, which doesn’t mean I was thehave to mean strongest, judoka at my gym.
This might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case it was a drawback.
Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one at that, the brown and black belts always picked me out to fight against them.
I spent more time on the floor than standing.
At nineteen years old, I began working.
Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishanting to do since I was a teenager.
After a few months of lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and my upper arms.
In just two years, I had gained more than fifteen kilos.
After so many years of not standing out in any sport, finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights.
My body responded very fastquickly and my appearance changed dradstically; from being a thinskinny teenager, I to becameoming a very muscular person.
I don’t like to show off.
However I can’t help but saying that I was the envy of the gym.
I worked out with such intensity and determination that every day several youngsters showed up to train with me.
Sadly, all of this stopsped happening long ago.
After everything I have written, it’s quite easy to imagine what I felt like when a few days ago my older son asked me to go with him to his gym.
I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do anotherdifferent ones.
At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially being able to helping my son improve his training made me remember those pastold days when I used to go to the gym.
Feedback
Great journal. You have an impresive command over the English language, and that's very evident with your writing here. Well done!
Memories from the Past This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! Memories Memories = past events Thus no need to clarify :] This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
In my twenties and early thirties, I would go to the gym almost every day. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! In my twenties and early thirties, I would typically go to the gym almost every day. Cohesion ! (Implies habitual) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
It was something that I had always wished to do since I was in my early teens. It was something that I had always w This sentence has been marked as perfect! It was This makes it sound a bit more natural! “My early teens” we like to possess it, similar to “my twenties” as you said before It was something that I had always w |
Not that I was the kind of child who excels at sports, quite the opposite. Not that I was the kind of child who excel Not that I was the kind of child who excel Not that I was the kind of child who excel Would be past (excelled) because you are talking about yourself as a child in the past ! Not to say that I was the kind of child who excel Not that I was the kind of child who |
As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, or soccer as it’s called in some countries, that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper. As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football The way you used commas was fine, but brackets are a bit clearer and easier to read here. This sentence has been marked as perfect! As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football, or soccer as it’s called in some countries, and that I was always chosen to be the goalkeeper. As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football Easier to read with parentheses. As a child, I remember that I was so bad at playing football |
In my defence I must say that at least I wasn’t a bad goalkeeper. In my defence In my defence, I must say that at least I wasn’t a bad goalkeeper. In my defence I must say that at least I wasn’t Because you said “I must say AT least”, and the use of ‘at’, it is natural for us to continue this with saying “at x y z” ! In my defence Replaced goalkeeper with "at it" to avoid repeating it in a consecutive sentence. This is just a stylistic suggestion! In my defence, I “Have to” has a more easygoing, casual feel than “must”. |
Not only was I a hopeless case at playing football, but also at playing any team sports. Not only was I Not only was I a hopeless case at playing football, Usually "not only" is not followed by "but" Not only was I Hopeless case is generally an insult at another person, however we usually only say “I was hopeless/I’m hopeless” it is not a common phrase to describe one as, but it is very popular as an insult/description of another
Not only was I |
At the school I went to study vocational training, I had the opportunity to do judo. At the school I went to At the school At the school I ‘I went to’ is a past act prescribed to location Eg “I went to school”. It is only correct to say “I studied” ! Also as you are implying another opportunity you had (vocational training as the first, judo as the second). At the school I went to At the school I |
The truth is that I became very interested in everything relate to martial arts. The truth is that I became very interested in everything related to martial arts. The truth is that I became very interested in everything relat The truth is that I became very interested in everything related to martial arts. We always say “related” when talking about two things: “Are you guys related?” “How are these two things related to each other?” Examples of relate: “Can you relate to the text?” “Who did you relate to?” (Like watching a film and discussing characters = emotional/personal connection) The truth is that I became very interested in everything related to martial arts.
I’ve connected this sentence to the previous one to make it read more smoothly. |
However, I was as good at doing judo as I was at playing football. This sentence has been marked as perfect! However, I was as good at This sentence has been marked as perfect! However, I was |
To make things worse, I was the tallest, which doesn’t mean I was the strongest, judoka at my gym. To make To make things worse, I was the tallest To make things worse, I was the tallest, which doesn’t mean I was the strongest Assuming judoka is a sport ! Would be in this way To make things/matters worse, I was the tallest, To make things worse, I was the tallest, which d |
This might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case it was a drawback. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
Flows better This might have been an advantage, having longer limbs, but in my case it was a Stylistic, grammatically we always say ‘setback’. Although drawback is technically correct, it is not popular
|
Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one, the brown and black belts always picked me out to fight against them. Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one at that, the brown and black belts always picked me out to fight against them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Although I was just a yellow belt, ‘Singled me out’ = targeted me (subject) (to bully/intimidate/ etc.) You can say against them but this is implied through ‘to fight’ So formula for one correct use of this phrase: they always singled (subject, in this case ‘me’) out to (verb). Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one at that, the brown and black belts always Although I was just a yellow belt, and a very bad one, the brown and black belts always picked me |
I spent more time on the floor than standing. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! I spent more time on the floor than I spent standing. Cohesion ! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
At nineteen years old, I began working. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! At nineteen Working is correct, however ‘to work’ sounds more natural ! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Earning money allowed to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing to since I was a teenager. Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been w Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing to since I was a teenager. Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always been wishing to since I was a teenager. When saying ‘allowed’ always clarify the subject after: “Her mother allowed HER to go out with her friends.” “My teacher allowed US to leave class early.” Earning money allowed to enroll at a gym where I could do what I had always Earning money allowed me to enrol at a gym where I could do what I had always |
After a few months lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and my upper arms. After a few months of lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and After a few months of lifting weights, I started seeing changes in my body, especially in my chest and my upper arms. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
In just two years, I had gained more than fifteen kilos. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
After so many years not standing out in any sport, finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights. After so many years of not standing out in any sport, finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights. After so many years of not standing out in any sport, I finally After so many years of not standing out in any sport, finally, I found out that I was really good at lifting weights. ‘After so many months/years/weeks OF (this action/occurrence)’ <- formula After so many years of not standing out in any sport, I had finally After so many years of not standing out in any sport, I had finally |
My body responded very fast and my appearance changed radically; from being a thin teenager, I became a very muscular person. My body responded very My body responded very fast and my appearance changed radically My body responded Or you could say: “from being a thin teenager to a very muscular person” My body responded very fast, and my appearance changed radically My body responded very fast and my appearance changed radically; from being a thin teenager, I became |
I don’t like to show off. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! I don’t usually like to show off. I don’t like to show off |
However I can’t help but saying that I was the envy of the gym. However I can’t help but say However I can’t help However I can’t help Wow !
I have combined this sentence with the previous one |
I worked out with such intensity and determination that every day several youngsters showed up to train with me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Sadly, all of this stops happening long ago. Sadly, all of this stop Sadly, all of this stop Sadly, all of this stop This would be the only correct way to phrase it! Sadly, all of this stop Sadly, all of this stop |
After everything I have written, it’s quite easy to imagine what I felt like when a few days ago my older son asked me to go with him to his gym. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
This sentence has been marked as perfect!
|
I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do another ones. I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should do I had told him that I thought the exercises he was doing weren’t suitable for him and that he should Either or ^ I “Another” is singular, “others” is plural. |
At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember those past days when I used to go to gym. At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially being able to help This sentence has been marked as perfect! At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember At the gym, being surrounded by people lifting weights and especially helping my son improve his training made me remember |
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