July 22, 2020
Memoirs of Hadrian
In her early twenties, Marguerite had a vision, she wanted to write about the Roman emperor Hadrian. Therefore, to accomplish her self-imposed mission, the author had to gather all the available information about the emperor, which was somehow a challenge because there weren't many reliable sources about him at the time. Hence, Marguerite had to double her efforts, and with a strong determination, she researched intensively about this character devouring all the literature within her reach. Once this first step was accomplished, the second challenge came; how to narrate Hadrian’s story. Here is where her ordeal began, indeed, for years Marguerite racked her brains thinking how to unravel the story she had in her hands, but to no avail, she just couldn’t find the end of the yarn to start weaving her story. Until one day, completely exhausted, she finally gave up. The psychological pressure she had put on herself was too much to handle and was pushing her to the brink. Thus, in a ritualistic act, Marguerite set fire to all of her manuscripts and notes, reducing Hadrian to aches.
However, the seed was implanted and had started to sprout in her unconscious mind, and one day, decades after she had supposedly ended all ties with Hadrian, Marguerite had an epiphany. That was the moment when she finally found what she was looking for; the tone of the novel. It was then when she realized that the flame was still burning and blazing more than ever. Hence, at that moment she buckled down to writing once again, but this time accompanied by the muses leading her by the right path.
Finally, after months of work, the book was finished, and once published, it was immediately received with ample praise by the critics who were enchanted by the mixture between history, philosophy, and poetry. Nevertheless, it’s important to underscore that this is not a historical book, so it shouldn’t be mistaken as a reliable source about the Hadrian period. In fact, what Marguerite did was more subtle than writing a historical book. She wrote Hadrian’s epic, a process that demanded from her to reconstruct Hadrian’s personality in order to narrate his life from his own lips.
Memoirs of Hadrian
In her early twenties, Marguerite had a vision, s. She wanted to write about the Roman emperor Hadrian.
Therefore, to accomplish her self-imposed mission, the author had to gather all the available information about the emperor, which was somehow a challenge because there weren't many reliable sources about him at the time.
HenceAs a result, Marguerite had to double her efforts, and with a strong determination, she researched intensively about this character intensively, devouring all the literature within her reach.
Once this first step was accomplished, the second challenge came;: how to narrate Hadrian’s story.
Here is where her ordeal began, i. Indeed, for years Marguerite racked her brains thinking about how to unravel the story she had in her hands, but to no avail, s. She just couldn’t find the end of the yarn to start weaving her story.
Until oOne day, completely exhausted, she finally gave up.
The psychological pressure she had put on herself was too much to handle and was pushing her to the brink.
Thus, iIn a ritualistic act, Marguerite set fire to all of her manuscripts and notes, reducing Hadrian to aches.
However, the seed was implanted and had started to sprout in her unconscious mind, and one day, decades after she had supposedly ended all ties with Hadrian, Marguerite had an epiphany.
That was the moment when she finally found what she was looking for; —the tone of the novel.
It was then when she realized that the flame was still burning and blazing more than ever.
Hence, aAt that moment she buckled down to writing once again, but this time accompanied by the muses leading her bydown the right path.
Finally, after months of work, the book was finished, and o. Once published, it was immediately received with ample praise by the critics who were enchanted by the mixture between history, philosophy, and poetry.
Nevertheless, it’s important to underscore that this is not a historical book, so it shouldn’t be mistaken as a reliable source about the Hadrian period.
In fact, what Marguerite did was more subtle than writing a historical book.
She wrote Hadrian’s epic, a process that demanded from her to reconstruct Hadrian’s personality in order to narrate his life from his own lips.
Feedback
I notice that you use a lot of transition words like “hence” and “
indeed”
. A lot of those can be removed; it does not sound natural to use too many of them. Otherwise, very clean writing :)
July 22, 2020
Yeah! I'm aware of it, but I don't know how to replace those conectors. English has many rules I still don't understand. Thanks for lending me a hand
=D
July 22, 2020
No problem! For most of those connectors, I think you could just leave them out and continue on with the next thought. It’s best to use them just every now and then.
July 22, 2020
Yes. They seemed redundant to me as well. Thanks for telling me.
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Memoirs of Hadrian This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In her early twenties, Marguerite had a vision, she wanted to write about the Roman emperor Hadrian. In her early twenties, Marguerite had a vision |
|
Therefore, to accomplish her self-imposed mission, the author had to gather all the available information about the emperor, which was somehow a challenge because there weren't many reliable sources about him at the time. Therefore, to accomplish her self-imposed mission, the author had to gather all |
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Hence, Marguerite had to double her efforts, and with a strong determination, she researched intensively about this character devouring all the literature within her reach.
|
|
Once this first step was accomplished, the second challenge came; how to narrate Hadrian’s story. Once this first step was accomplished, the second challenge came |
|
Here is where her ordeal began, indeed, for years Marguerite racked her brains thinking how to unravel the story she had in her hands, but to no avail, she just couldn’t find the end of the yarn to start weaving her story. Here is where her ordeal began |
|
Until one day, completely exhausted, she finally gave up.
|
|
The psychological pressure she had put on herself was too much to handle and was pushing her to the brink. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Thus, in a ritualistic act, Marguerite set fire to all of her manuscripts and notes, reducing Hadrian to aches.
|
|
However, the seed was implanted and had started to sprout in her unconscious mind, and one day, decades after she had supposedly ended all ties with Hadrian, Marguerite had an epiphany. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
That was the moment when she finally found what she was looking for; the tone of the novel. That was the moment when she finally found what she was looking for |
|
It was then when she realized that the flame was still burning and blazing more than ever. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Hence, at that moment she buckled down to writing once again, but this time accompanied by the muses leading her by the right path.
|
|
Finally, after months of work, the book was finished, and once published, it was immediately received with ample praise by the critics who were enchanted by the mixture between history, philosophy, and poetry. Finally, after months of work, the book was finished |
|
Nevertheless, it’s important to underscore that this is not a historical book, so it shouldn’t be mistaken as a reliable source about the Hadrian period. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
In fact, what Marguerite did was more subtle than writing a historical book. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She wrote Hadrian’s epic, a process that demanded from her to reconstruct Hadrian’s personality in order to narrate his life from his own lips. She wrote Hadrian’s epic, a process that demanded |
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