today
Chapter I: Lac Lac
It began five years ago.
At first, there are just posts on my facebook likes the post belows:
Destroying paper is a very simple matter
just put the paper in the shredder
Done
Our office has a paper shredder
and although
and also, of course
I like that machine
I think it is an interesting machine
and also fun to listen to
But
It just takes so long
and also hot-tempered
A co-worker said to me
The reason why every few minutes it freezes
is because it is hot
I have to wait for it to cool down
So that it can continue.
With the pile of paper I have been hoarded
I cannot sit with that machine
Then I decide to burn the paper
But how can I burn something when the company has fire alarms installed everywhere and they make loud noises at the slightest fluctuation?
(Yes, they are really like screaming at the slightest thing
no matter what anyone does, they still make noise
Like
That is our passion, why do we need the reason?
)
So I have to sit in a corner
I also get involved with a HSE co-worker sitting with me
And because she is a HSE
so even though there is nothing around where I am sitting that seems flammable
she still carries a fire extinguisher beside us
We sit burning paper like people burn votive paper for more than an hour
but still not done
So
I want to ask
is there any more effective way to destroy paper?
I write them disinterestedly, do not think too much about what and how I write, just like I am chatting with a friend. So as you see, they are not very special. I have more than 200 friends on facebook and there are around 20-50 people interacted each post, I satisfy with this and do not very mind about whether remaining people read them.
Then, the more I post, the more people like them. My friends tell me many people did not interact but they really like those posts. They all find them easy to look at, simple, close, funny and interesting. They feel relaxed, comfortable and ask me to write more often.
I was a little surprised because this is more than I expected. I am happy to know but this has not many meanings to me. Those compliments are just a few more sentences in my daily conversations. My life has not changed much. I go to work every morning and come back home every evening. I hardly go out, and when I do, I almost meet few people. I have only a few relationships that I really care about, they all started before I started writing those posts, and those posts are not much of a surprise to them, I talk to them in the same way. Further, I have no need to expand my circle of relationships. I find it quite hopeless to find common ground with others, actually. This has caused me considerable difficulty, as I only want to have truly close relationships, which I can be able to fully share myself. From very early on, I found that my and others' thoughts seem like they rarely meet each other. And this did not improve as I grew older, to this day I keep feeling like others are so irrational and I live by standards that sound normal but seem abnormal compared to them. Even with the few relationships I have, we also do not understand each other, I just know they do not think the same as me and they are just used to me having unusual thoughts.
So I do not care much about that request, I continue posting only when I want to.
Instead, I spend most of the time on facebook to hear and read posts from pages I followed and find more pages. I follow all topics, aspects, times and places, as long as they do not violate ethics or the law, to the best of my knowledge. As for music, I am not limited to any particular genre: classical music, US UK music, Chinese music, contemporary Vietnamese music, bolero music,... I do the same with news sites, movies, paintings, history, science,... I know the world is that vast, there are so many things, I am happy to learn about all of them. Anyway, I am not under pressure to do this. If I find them interesting or understand them, it is good for me, if not, no harm done. For a long time, this has been one of my hobbies. The other hobbies are: reading books, learning to play the organ, chess… You know, when your job is stable and you have no ambition for a higher position, moreover, you are an introvert, you will have so much free time just for yourself. That was my life during that time.
One day, I posted a video of music on facebook. It is not just a record by smart phone. I paid for a professional video recording service. It shocks people, including my friends and this surprises me. Some of them suggest that I become a cover singer, some believe that video is the proof I will step into showbiz. But it is not like that. A few days ago, I saw an advertisement on an old friend's personal page. She and her husband run this service business. I thought I would like it and others would also enjoy it. It would be a memorable memory. And that was all I wanted.
Maybe my facebook really attracted a lot of attention from this post. There are some things have changed. My facebook friends started to like and follow the pages I did. Those activities are displayed on my personal page. Do any others who do not add friends with me do the same? I do not know. I just know they are also affected. I work at a manufacturing company with more than 2000 people, I often talk to most of them only when the job requires it with cold politeness. I know they felt uncomfortable with this sometimes but I had a solid position here, so they still treated me pretty kindly. Now, it seems like they realize that is not unsociable or impolite but a personality and they turn to like it. They are more friendly and warm to me.
I understand that I have a little fame. The effects of this makes me think that I found the key I have been looking for, the key to have one of the things I have always wanted: To live a life where I do not have to be self-conscious about being true to myself, not just in a few close relationships, but in many other relationships as well. And that key is: people love me love my dog.
I know me and my life in others eyes are full of happiness, interesting and satisfied. They admire this. But that is not the person I want to be, nor the life I want others to think of me. I do not know how others feel when they show only their strengths and good points to others, but this has had a very negative impact on me. A growing feeling of emptiness, stifling, incompleteness that haunted me, as if there is a blank somewhere inside me that is smoldering, aching, frustrating, tormenting me. I want it to disappear.
In a way, I am a very simple person. I think I need more fame to show other sides of me. I see it as a balance. At that time, I did not recognize it as a very stupid and dangerous thought. I just focus on getting more fame. And this is easy. How I gain it from that video, I just need to do the same, embellishing, exaggerating my abilities. I sing quite well. Many people know it, I even heard compliments: “I have never heard anyone sing as well as you before”. But when I put a glossy coat on my voice, it shocks them like nobody heard me sing ever.
The problem is the impression of me on facebook is probably deeply engraved in other people's minds. I know it will be difficult and take a long time to change this. I am not that patient. I have another plan to make this easier and faster.
If their mind is already fixed with old impressions when they see my facebook, then the first thing I need to do is create another account. I named it Lac Lac, which means lostness. I think that name is suitable to me, I often feel like there is nowhere or nobody I belong to. I decided not to add any friends. My last purpose is showing my whole self. And it is certainly not all good things. I do not want to put myself and my friends in an awkward situation. I just need them to understand implicitly. On the other hand, in order to have more fame, I need Lac Lac spread to as many people as possible. Perhaps you think I am stupid when thinking that not adding any friend will help an account be more widespread than adding more friends. But you will see, in my case, it works.
How can an account with no friends reach many people in a short time? I had some attention from the main account. What I need to do is take advantage of their attention. I set the avatar as my picture. And the first posts are related to what I posted on my main account. In two days, I have had more than ten friend requests. It is not too much, right? But it means I was right, facebook's algorithmIt would display this account to those people. I do not accept any requests. Few days later, some of them text me and ask whether it is me. I respond to those messages. I say yes and tell them I hope they will pretend they do not know, like this account is a strange person.
Then, I put a frivolous cover on Lac Lac to attract more people's attention. It is not very difficult for me when I actually try to hear, read, learn a lot of things for years. I do not really understand all of them or am good at any of them but I just post everything. I know people like the newness and surprise. I need to maintain their curiosity. I share a new content every night without any order before I go to bed. This will give them a sense of anticipation in the time they are facing their true selves.
And a very strange personal page is born like that. It is not an exaggeration to say that I created something unprecedented. There is no comment, no like, no share on Lac Lac but this account became popular as a famous page.
I go to work every morning with admiring eyes and enjoyment from co-workers. I often hear some enthusiastic allusions from people around me: "Your facebook looks so brilliant", "Do you know you have a lot of fans?", "Successful people have their own path", "How many followers does it take to have a blue checkmark?"... I get better treatment from strangers: Receiving thank you letters with a discount voucher from online shops, the owners of the stores I shop at are more welcoming to me… On my main account, there are suggestions displayed: "Brands just for you", "Groups you may like", "People you may know" (some of them are famous people),...
In fact, I have never seen any follower or blue checkmark appear on Lac Lac. But I know I had as much fame as I wanted. And I start to show more about myself in some posts. Those posts are not to attract others, they are things I really care about. Impermanence, injustice, treachery, contradictory action, illogical human thoughts, how people treat each other, the fate of those who resolutely pursue the truth,… My weaknesses, my fears, experiences that haunt me, perspectives that I could not say,…
I think people read them seriously. Those posts cause various reactions, and this makes me confused. Last night I posted a post, this morning I see people around me look at me like: they think I am a profound person, or feel sorry for me, some more avoid me, as if they do not want to face the fact that they admired a mediocre person, some others bow their head, as if they are ashamed of themself. And in the afternoon, all of them look at me the same as yesterday, or a day before yesterday, or last week.
At that time, I know that all of the posts are obscure in others' minds, they just remember and like Lac Lac’s frivolous cover. Somehow I think I failed. I hoped this account would make others think of me to be more like who I truly am, but they just see it has too much fame and this makes them think of me even more perfect than me on the main account.
But I keep posting every night. I have not completely given up on my last purpose. I just do not expect it to be easy and quick anymore. And I know only I think I failed, others think I am more and more successful. I am a little disturbed: Should I make things clear? That actually I exaggerated myself to attract followers. Or delete Lac Lac. I did not. Because the more others think I am successful, the better my life is. A lingering sense of guilt subtly creeps into my thoughts but I deceived myself, that what I received is what I deserve whether Lac Lac exists. Anyway, I do not make money from my followers. Besides, I really want Lac Lac to not only help my life better but also others. I think people surf facebook like a child going to school. What they see, hear, or read easily affects them. But social media is an irresponsible teacher, only concerned with getting as many students as possible. So the negative and toxic contents are always much more than the positive and good ones. They focus on people’s feelings, not their thoughts, they give them strong emotions and shallow thinking. Like a fool with a great ideal, I want to use Lac Lac’s fame to change this. Although most of my followers are not people who have always only liked positive and good contents, I always share a lot of posts I find useful, or a book I am reading, or give another perspective on some issues. I do not expect them to enjoy those posts or books like me or agree with me, but I do hope they can see that there is a lot more to pay attention to than the negative and toxic contents they see every day or know that there are always ways to look at things. I think people can change, good habits can be formed slowly, thinking can also change gradually. Yes, I wanted to change even the ingrained irrational ways of thinking in people.
I really overestimated myself. It is a goal that is clearly beyond my reach. It will fail. With Lac Lac, I cannot change anything or anyone but “they” can catch me out and destroy me.
In my main account, the posts that are untrue display more and more. Sometimes I immediately know it is untrue, sometimes it takes me a few days or more time to know, and maybe there were posts up to now I still do not know were untrue, and they are still on Lac Lac, I shared them. More worrying, the posts defame state leaders and the regime also are gradually displayed. Thank God, I do not care about politics at all. If not, with my stupidity and innocence, I am not sure if I can write this story. People often say: showbiz is complicated, business is battlefield… But in my opinion, politics is much more complicated and dangerous. And in real life, I start to see jealousy in some people. But at that time, I had no idea about what was happening or what would happen.
Memoir
Chapter I: Lac Lac
It began five years ago.
At first, there awere just posts on my fFacebook likes the post belows:
Destroying paper is a very simple matter.
jJust put the paper in the shredder.
Done.
Our office has a paper shredder.
and although
and also, of course
I like that machine.
and also fun to listen to,
Bbut
Iit just takes so long
and it is also hot-tempered.
A co-worker said told me
The reason why it freezes every few minutes it freezes
is because it is hot, and
I have to wait for it to cool down
Sso that it can continue.
With the pile of paper I have been hoardeding
ThenSo I decide to burn the paper
(Yes, they are really like screaminggoing off at the slightest thing
And because she is a HSE,
so even though there is nothing around where I am sitting that seems flammable
she still carries a fire extinguisher beside us.
We sit burning paper like people burn votive paper for more than an hour,
but we're still not done
Sso
I want to ask,
I have more than 200 friends on fFacebook and there are around 20-50 people interacteding each post, I am satisfyied with this and do not mind very mind about whetheruch whether or not the remaining people read them.
Then, the more I post, the more people like them.
My friends tell me many people did not interact but they really like those posts.
They all find them easy to look at, simple, close, funny and interesting.
They feel relaxed, comfortable and ask me to write more often.
I was a little surprised because this is more than I expected.
I am happy to know but this has nodoesn't meany meaningsuch to me.
Those compliments are just a few more sentences in my daily conversations.
My life has not changed much.
I go to work every morning and come back home every evening.
I hardly go out, and when I do, I almostbarely meet fnew people.
I was a little unclear on what the last part meant.
I have only a few relationships that I really care about, they all started before I started writing those posts, and those posts are not much of a surprise to them, I talk to them in the same way.
Further, I have no need to expand my circle of relationships.
I find it quite hopeless to find common ground with others, actually.
This has caused me considerable difficulty, as I only want to have truly close relationships, which I can be able to fully share myself.
Same problem here, my friend.
From very early on, I found that my and others' thoughts seem like they rarely meet each other.
And this did not improve as I grew older, to this day I keep feeling like others are so irrational and I live by standards that sound normal but seem abnormal compared to them.
Even with the few relationships I have, we also do not understand each other, I just know they do not think the same as me and they are just used to me having unusual thoughts.
So I do not care much about that request, I continue posting only when I want to.
Instead, I spend most of the time on facebook to hear and read posts from pages I followed and find more pages.
As for music, I am not limited to any particular genre: classical music, US UK music, Chinese music, contemporary Vietnamese music, bolero music,...
I do the same with news sites, movies, paintings, history, science,...
I know that the world is that vast, there are so many things, and I am happy to learn about all of them.
Anyway, I am not under pressure to do this.
If I find them interesting or understand them, it is good for me, if not, no harm done.
For a long time, this has been one of my hobbies.
The other hobbies are: reading books, learning to play the organ, chess…
You know, when your job is stable and you have no ambition for a higher position, moreover, you are an introvert, you will have so much free time just for yourself.
That was my life during that time.
One day, I posted a video of musicmusic video on facebook.
It iwas not just a video recorded by a smart phone.
I paid for a professional video recording service.
It shocks people, including my friends, and this surprises me.
Some of them suggest that I become a cover singer, some believe that video is the proof I will step into showbiz.
But it is not like that.
A few days ago, I saw an advertisement on an old friend's personal page.
She and her husband run this service business.
I thought I would like it and others would also enjoy it.
It would be a memorable memoryoment.
"memorable memory" is redundant. No need to say the same thing twice
And that was all I wanted.
Maybe my facebook really attracted a lot of attention from this post.
There are some things that have changed.
My facebook friends started to like and follow the pages I did.
Those activities are displayed on my personal page.
Do any others who do not add friends with me do the same?
I do not know.
I just know they are also affected.
I work at a manufacturing company with more than 2000 people, I often talk to most of them only when the job requires it with cold politeness.
I know they felt uncomfortable with this sometimes but I had a solid position here, so they still treated me pretty kindly.
Now, it seems like they realize that is not unsociable or impolite but a personality and they turn to like it.
They are more friendly and warm to me.
I understand that I have a little fame.
The effects of this makes me think that I found the key I have been looking for, the key to have one of the things I have always wanted:
To live a life where I do not have to be self-conscious about being true to myself, not just in a few close relationships, but in many other relationships as well.
And that key is: people love me love my dog.
I know meyself and my life in others' eyes areis full of happiness, it's interesting and satisfied.
They admire this.
But that is not the person I want to be, nor the life I want others to think of me.
I do not know how others feel when they show only their strengths and good points to others, but this has had a very negative impact on me.
A growing feeling of emptiness, stifling, incompleteness that haunted me, as if there is a blank somewhere inside me that is smoldering, aching, frustrating, tormenting me.
I want it to disappear.
In a way, I am a very simple person.
I think I need more fame to show other sides of me.
I see it as a balance.
At that time, I did not recognize it as a very stupid and dangerous thought.
I just focus on getting more fame.
And this is easy.
How I gained it from that video, I just need to do the same, embellishing, exaggerating my abilities.
I sing quite well.
Many people know it, I even heard compliments:
“I have never heard anyone sing as well as you before”.
But when I put a glossy coat on my voice, it shocks them like nobody heard me sing ever.
The problem is the impression of me on facebook is probably deeply engraved in other people's minds.
I know it will be difficult and take a long time to change this.
I am not that patient.
I have another plan to make this easier and faster.
If their mind is already fixed with old impressions when they see my facebook, then the first thing I need to do is create another account.
I named it Lac Lac, which means lostness.
I think that name is suitable to me, I often feel like there is nowhere or nobody I belong to.
I decided not to add any friends.
My last purpose is showing my whole self.
And it is certainly not all good things.
I do not want to put myself and my friends in an awkward situation.
I just need them to understand implicitly.
On the other hand, in order to have more fame, I need Lac Lac spread to as many people as possible.
Perhaps you think I am stupid when thinking that not adding any friend will help an account be more widespread than adding more friends.
But you will see, in my case, it works.
How can an account with no friends reach many people in a short time?
I had some attention from the main account.
What I need to do is take advantage of their attention.
I set the avatar as my picture.
And the first posts are related to what I posted on my main account.
In two days, I have had more than ten friend requests.
It is not too much, right?
But it means I was right, f about Facebook's algorithm
It would display this account to those people.
I do not accept any requests.
FA few days later, some of them texted me and ask whethered itf it was me.
I respond to those messages.
I say yes and tell them I hope they will pretend they do not know, like this account is a strange person.
Then, I put a frivolous cover on Lac Lac to attract more people's attention.
It is not very difficult for me when I actually try to hear, read, learn a lot of things for years.
I do not really understand all of them or am good at any of them but I just post everything.
I know people like the newnessovelty and surprise.
I need to maintain their curiosity.
I share a new piece of content every night without any order before I go to bed.
This will give them a sense of anticipation in the time they are facing their true selves.
And a very strange personal page is born like that.
It is not an exaggeration to say that I created something unprecedented.
There is no comment, no like, no share on Lac Lac but this account became popular as a famous page.
I go to work every morning with admiring eyes and enjoyment from co-workers.
I often hear some enthusiastic allusions from people around me: "Your facebook looks so brilliant", "Do you know you have a lot of fans?", "Successful people have their own path", "How many followers does it take to have a blue checkmark?"...
I get better treatment from strangers:
Receiving thank you letters with a discount voucher from online shops, the owners of the stores I shop at are more welcoming to me…
On my main account, there are suggestions displayed: "Brands just for you", "Groups you may like", "People you may know" (some of them are famous people),...
In fact, I have never seen any follower or blue checkmark appear on Lac Lac.
But I know I had as much fame as I wanted.
And I start to show more about myself in some posts.
Those posts are not to attract others, they are things I really care about.
Impermanence, injustice, treachery, contradictory action, illogical human thoughts, how people treat each other, the fate of those who resolutely pursue the truth,…
My weaknesses, my fears, experiences that haunt me, perspectives that I could not say,…
I think people read them seriously.
Those posts cause various reactions, and this makes me confused.
Last night I posted a post, this morning I see people around me look at me like:
they think I am a profound person, or feel sorry for me, some more avoid me, as if they do not want to face the fact that they admired a mediocre person, some others bow their head, as if they are ashamed of themselfves.
And in the afternoon, all of them look at me the same as yesterday, or a day before yesterday, or last week.
At that time, I know that all of the posts are obscure in others' minds, they just remember and like Lac Lac’s frivolous cover.
Somehow I think I failed.
I hoped this account would make others think of me to be more like who I truly am, but they just see it has too much fame and this makes them think of me even more perfect than me on the main account.
But I keep posting every night.
I have not completely given up on my last purpose.
I just do not expect it to be easy and quick anymore.
I am a little disturbed:
Should I make things clear?
That actually I exaggerated myself to attract followers.
Or delete Lac Lac.
I did not.
Because the more others think I am successful, the better my life is.
A lingering sense of guilt subtly creeps into my thoughts but I deceived myself, that what I received is what I deserve whether or not Lac Lac exists.
Anyway, I do not make money from my followers.
Besides, I really want Lac Lac to not only help my life better but also others.
I think people surf facebook like a child going to school.
What they see, hear, or read easily affects them.
But social media is an irresponsible teacher, only concerned with getting as many students as possible.
So the negative and toxic contents are always much more than the positive and good ones.
They focus on people’s feelings, not their thoughts, they give them strong emotions and shallow thinking.
Like a fool with a great ideal, I want to use Lac Lac’s fame to change this.
Although most of my followers are not people who have always only liked positive and good contents, I always share a lot of posts I find useful, or a book I am reading, or give another perspective on some issues.
I do not expect them to enjoy those posts or books like me or agree with me, but I do hope they can see that there is a lot more to pay attention to than the negative and toxic contents they see every day or know that there are always ways to look at things.
I think people can change, good habits can be formed slowly, thinking can also change gradually.
Yes, I wanted to change even the ingrained irrational ways of thinking in people.
I really overestimated myself.
It is a goal that is clearly beyond my reach.
It will fail.
With Lac Lac, I cannot change anything or anyone but “they” can catch me out and destroy me.
In my main account, the posts that are untrue display more and more.
Sometimes I immediately know it is untrue, sometimes it takes me a few days or more time to know, and maybe there were posts up to now I still do not know were untrue, and they are still on Lac Lac, I shared them.
More worrying, the posts defame state leaders and the regime also are gradually displayed.
Thank God, I do not care about politics at all.
If not, with my stupidity and innocence, I am not sure if I can write this story.
People often say: showbiz is complicated, business is a battlefield…
But in my opinion, politics is much more complicated and dangerous.
And in real life, I start to see jealousy in some people.
But at that time, I had no idea about what was happening or what would happen.
Feedback
This was actually fascinating to read. Thanks for making me think!
Memoir
Chapter I: Lac Lac
It began five years ago.
At first, there ay were just posts on my facebook likes the post belows:
Destroying paper is a very simple matter
just put the paper in the shredder
Done
Our office has a paper shredder
and although,
and also, of course
you don't need this.
I like that machine,
I think it is an interesting machine
and also fun to listen to
But
It just takes so long
and it is also hot-tempered to the touch.
I am assuming you mean when you touch the machine it gets very hot. Also this can all be one sentence:
"And although, of course, I like that machine, I think it is an interesting machine,
and also fun to listen to, it just takes so long and it’s also hot to the touch. "
You could also leave out "of course"
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I want it to disappear. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In a way, I am a very simple person. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Somehow I think I failed. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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With Lac Lac, I cannot change anything or anyone but “they” can catch me out and destroy me. With Lac Lac, I cannot change anything or anyone but “they” can catch me out and destroy me. |
|
In my main account, the posts that are untrue display more and more. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sometimes I immediately know it is untrue, sometimes it takes me a few days or more time to know, and maybe there were posts up to now I still do not know were untrue, and they are still on Lac Lac, I shared them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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More worrying, the posts defame state leaders and the regime also are gradually displayed. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Thank God, I do not care about politics at all. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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If not, with my stupidity and innocence, I am not sure if I can write this story. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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People often say: showbiz is complicated, business is battlefield… People often say: showbiz is complicated, business is a battlefield… |
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But in my opinion, politics is much more complicated and dangerous. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And in real life, I start to see jealousy in some people. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But at that time, I had no idea about what was happening or what would happen. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Like |
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But it is not like that. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I have not completely given up on my last purpose. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I just do not expect it to be easy and quick anymore. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And I know only I think I failed, others think I am more and more successful. |
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I am a little disturbed: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Should I make things clear? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That actually I exaggerated myself to attract followers. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Or delete Lac Lac. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I did not. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Because the more others think I am successful, the better my life is. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A lingering sense of guilt subtly creeps into my thoughts but I deceived myself, that what I received is what I deserve whether Lac Lac exists. A lingering sense of guilt subtly creeps into my thoughts but I deceived myself, that what I received is what I deserve whether or not Lac Lac exists. |
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Anyway, I do not make money from my followers. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Besides, I really want Lac Lac to not only help my life better but also others. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I think people surf facebook like a child going to school. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
What they see, hear, or read easily affects them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
But social media is an irresponsible teacher, only concerned with getting as many students as possible. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
So the negative and toxic contents are always much more than the positive and good ones. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
They focus on people’s feelings, not their thoughts, they give them strong emotions and shallow thinking. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Like a fool with a great ideal, I want to use Lac Lac’s fame to change this. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Although most of my followers are not people who have always only liked positive and good contents, I always share a lot of posts I find useful, or a book I am reading, or give another perspective on some issues. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I do not expect them to enjoy those posts or books like me or agree with me, but I do hope they can see that there is a lot more to pay attention to than the negative and toxic contents they see every day or know that there are always ways to look at things. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I think people can change, good habits can be formed slowly, thinking can also change gradually. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Yes, I wanted to change even the ingrained irrational ways of thinking in people. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Memoir This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Chapter I: Lac Lac This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It began five years ago. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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At first, there are just posts on my facebook likes the post belows: At first, the At first, there |
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Destroying paper is a very simple matter This sentence has been marked as perfect! Destroying paper is a very simple matter. |
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just put the paper in the shredder This sentence has been marked as perfect!
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Done This sentence has been marked as perfect! Done. |
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Our office has a paper shredder This sentence has been marked as perfect! Our office has a paper shredder. |
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and although and although,
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and also, of course
you don't need this.
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I like that machine I like that machine, I like that machine. |
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I think it is an interesting machine This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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and also fun to listen to This sentence has been marked as perfect! and also fun to listen to, |
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But
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It just takes so long This sentence has been marked as perfect!
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and also hot-tempered and it is also hot I am assuming you mean when you touch the machine it gets very hot. Also this can all be one sentence: "And although, of course, I like that machine, I think it is an interesting machine, and also fun to listen to, it just takes so long and it’s also hot to the touch. " You could also leave out "of course" and it is also hot-tempered. |
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A co-worker said to me A co-worker |
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The reason why every few minutes it freezes The reason why it freezes every few minutes |
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is because it is hot is because it is hot, and |
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I have to wait for it to cool down I have to wait for it to cool down |
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So that it can continue.
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With the pile of paper I have been hoarded With the pile of paper I have been hoard |
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I cannot sit with that machine |
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Then I decide to burn the paper
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But how can I burn something when the company has fire alarms installed everywhere and they make loud noises at the slightest fluctuation? |
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(Yes, they are really like screaming at the slightest thing (Yes, they are really |
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no matter what anyone does, they still make noise |
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That is our passion, why do we need the reason? |
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) |
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So I have to sit in a corner |
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I also get involved with a HSE co-worker sitting with me |
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And because she is a HSE And because she is a HSE, |
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so even though there is nothing around where I am sitting that seems flammable
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she still carries a fire extinguisher beside us she still carries a fire extinguisher beside us. |
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We sit burning paper like people burn votive paper for more than an hour We sit burning paper like people burn votive paper for more than an hour, |
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but still not done but we're still not done |
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So
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I want to ask I want to ask, |
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is there any more effective way to destroy paper? |
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I write them disinterestedly, do not think too much about what and how I write, just like I am chatting with a friend. |
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So as you see, they are not very special. |
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I have more than 200 friends on facebook and there are around 20-50 people interacted each post, I satisfy with this and do not very mind about whether remaining people read them. I have more than 200 friends on |
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Then, the more I post, the more people like them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My friends tell me many people did not interact but they really like those posts. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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They all find them easy to look at, simple, close, funny and interesting. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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They feel relaxed, comfortable and ask me to write more often. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I was a little surprised because this is more than I expected. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I am happy to know but this has not many meanings to me. I am happy to know but this |
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Those compliments are just a few more sentences in my daily conversations. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My life has not changed much. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I go to work every morning and come back home every evening. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I hardly go out, and when I do, I almost meet few people. I hardly go out, and when I do, I I was a little unclear on what the last part meant. |
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I have only a few relationships that I really care about, they all started before I started writing those posts, and those posts are not much of a surprise to them, I talk to them in the same way. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Further, I have no need to expand my circle of relationships. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I find it quite hopeless to find common ground with others, actually. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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This has caused me considerable difficulty, as I only want to have truly close relationships, which I can be able to fully share myself. This has caused me considerable difficulty, as I only want to have truly close relationships, which I can be able to fully share myself. Same problem here, my friend. |
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From very early on, I found that my and others' thoughts seem like they rarely meet each other. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And this did not improve as I grew older, to this day I keep feeling like others are so irrational and I live by standards that sound normal but seem abnormal compared to them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Even with the few relationships I have, we also do not understand each other, I just know they do not think the same as me and they are just used to me having unusual thoughts. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So I do not care much about that request, I continue posting only when I want to. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Instead, I spend most of the time on facebook to hear and read posts from pages I followed and find more pages. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I follow all topics, aspects, times and places, as long as they do not violate ethics or the law, to the best of my knowledge. |
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As for music, I am not limited to any particular genre: classical music, US UK music, Chinese music, contemporary Vietnamese music, bolero music,... This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I do the same with news sites, movies, paintings, history, science,... This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I know the world is that vast, there are so many things, I am happy to learn about all of them. I know that the world is |
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Anyway, I am not under pressure to do this. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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If I find them interesting or understand them, it is good for me, if not, no harm done. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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For a long time, this has been one of my hobbies. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The other hobbies are: reading books, learning to play the organ, chess… This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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You know, when your job is stable and you have no ambition for a higher position, moreover, you are an introvert, you will have so much free time just for yourself. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That was my life during that time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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One day, I posted a video of music on facebook. One day, I posted a |
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It is not just a record by smart phone. It |
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I paid for a professional video recording service. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It shocks people, including my friends and this surprises me. It shocks people, including my friends, and this surprises me. |
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Some of them suggest that I become a cover singer, some believe that video is the proof I will step into showbiz. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A few days ago, I saw an advertisement on an old friend's personal page. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She and her husband run this service business. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I thought I would like it and others would also enjoy it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It would be a memorable memory. It would be a memorable m "memorable memory" is redundant. No need to say the same thing twice |
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And that was all I wanted. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Maybe my facebook really attracted a lot of attention from this post. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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There are some things have changed. There are some things that have changed. |
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My facebook friends started to like and follow the pages I did. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Those activities are displayed on my personal page. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Do any others who do not add friends with me do the same? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I do not know. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I just know they are also affected. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I work at a manufacturing company with more than 2000 people, I often talk to most of them only when the job requires it with cold politeness. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I know they felt uncomfortable with this sometimes but I had a solid position here, so they still treated me pretty kindly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Now, it seems like they realize that is not unsociable or impolite but a personality and they turn to like it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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They are more friendly and warm to me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I understand that I have a little fame. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The effects of this makes me think that I found the key I have been looking for, the key to have one of the things I have always wanted: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To live a life where I do not have to be self-conscious about being true to myself, not just in a few close relationships, but in many other relationships as well. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And that key is: people love me love my dog. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I know me and my life in others eyes are full of happiness, interesting and satisfied. I know m |
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They admire this. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But that is not the person I want to be, nor the life I want others to think of me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I do not know how others feel when they show only their strengths and good points to others, but this has had a very negative impact on me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A growing feeling of emptiness, stifling, incompleteness that haunted me, as if there is a blank somewhere inside me that is smoldering, aching, frustrating, tormenting me. A growing feeling of emptiness, stifling, incompleteness that haunted me, as if there is a blank somewhere inside me that is smoldering, aching, frustrating, tormenting me. |
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I think I need more fame to show other sides of me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I see it as a balance. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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At that time, I did not recognize it as a very stupid and dangerous thought. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I just focus on getting more fame. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And this is easy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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How I gain it from that video, I just need to do the same, embellishing, exaggerating my abilities. How I gained it from that video, I just need to do the same, embellishing, exaggerating my abilities. |
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I sing quite well. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Many people know it, I even heard compliments: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“I have never heard anyone sing as well as you before”. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But when I put a glossy coat on my voice, it shocks them like nobody heard me sing ever. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The problem is the impression of me on facebook is probably deeply engraved in other people's minds. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I know it will be difficult and take a long time to change this. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I am not that patient. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I have another plan to make this easier and faster. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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If their mind is already fixed with old impressions when they see my facebook, then the first thing I need to do is create another account. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I named it Lac Lac, which means lostness. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I think that name is suitable to me, I often feel like there is nowhere or nobody I belong to. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I decided not to add any friends. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My last purpose is showing my whole self. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And it is certainly not all good things. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I do not want to put myself and my friends in an awkward situation. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I just need them to understand implicitly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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On the other hand, in order to have more fame, I need Lac Lac spread to as many people as possible. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Perhaps you think I am stupid when thinking that not adding any friend will help an account be more widespread than adding more friends. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But you will see, in my case, it works. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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How can an account with no friends reach many people in a short time? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I had some attention from the main account. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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What I need to do is take advantage of their attention. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I set the avatar as my picture. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And the first posts are related to what I posted on my main account. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In two days, I have had more than ten friend requests. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is not too much, right? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But it means I was right, facebook's algorithm But it means I was right |
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It would display this account to those people. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I do not accept any requests. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Few days later, some of them text me and ask whether it is me.
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I respond to those messages. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I say yes and tell them I hope they will pretend they do not know, like this account is a strange person. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Then, I put a frivolous cover on Lac Lac to attract more people's attention. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is not very difficult for me when I actually try to hear, read, learn a lot of things for years. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I do not really understand all of them or am good at any of them but I just post everything. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I know people like the newness and surprise. I know people like the n |
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I need to maintain their curiosity. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I share a new content every night without any order before I go to bed. I share a new piece of content every night without any order before I go to bed. |
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This will give them a sense of anticipation in the time they are facing their true selves. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And a very strange personal page is born like that. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is not an exaggeration to say that I created something unprecedented. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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There is no comment, no like, no share on Lac Lac but this account became popular as a famous page. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I go to work every morning with admiring eyes and enjoyment from co-workers. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I often hear some enthusiastic allusions from people around me: "Your facebook looks so brilliant", "Do you know you have a lot of fans?", "Successful people have their own path", "How many followers does it take to have a blue checkmark?"... This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I get better treatment from strangers: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Receiving thank you letters with a discount voucher from online shops, the owners of the stores I shop at are more welcoming to me… This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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On my main account, there are suggestions displayed: "Brands just for you", "Groups you may like", "People you may know" (some of them are famous people),... This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In fact, I have never seen any follower or blue checkmark appear on Lac Lac. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But I know I had as much fame as I wanted. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And I start to show more about myself in some posts. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Those posts are not to attract others, they are things I really care about. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Impermanence, injustice, treachery, contradictory action, illogical human thoughts, how people treat each other, the fate of those who resolutely pursue the truth,… This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My weaknesses, my fears, experiences that haunt me, perspectives that I could not say,… This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I think people read them seriously. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Those posts cause various reactions, and this makes me confused. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Last night I posted a post, this morning I see people around me look at me like: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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they think I am a profound person, or feel sorry for me, some more avoid me, as if they do not want to face the fact that they admired a mediocre person, some others bow their head, as if they are ashamed of themself. they think I am a profound person, or feel sorry for me, some |
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And in the afternoon, all of them look at me the same as yesterday, or a day before yesterday, or last week. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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At that time, I know that all of the posts are obscure in others' minds, they just remember and like Lac Lac’s frivolous cover. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I hoped this account would make others think of me to be more like who I truly am, but they just see it has too much fame and this makes them think of me even more perfect than me on the main account. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But I keep posting every night. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I really overestimated myself. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is a goal that is clearly beyond my reach. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It will fail. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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