orea5's avatar
orea5

Jan. 22, 2023

0
MAKING ONE'S CASE (making a case for why my choice is the be

I. I'll attempt to make a strong case for why I choose picture three over the two other pictures.
1) My starting point is that it best describes what happens to a smoker's body as we can see him or her transforming from a full of life and energy person into a paper-white, ghost-like being supposedly through airways problems, lack of vitamins , impaired cardiovascular system, weight loss and insufficient ammount of oxigen supplied to their brain.
2) It is worthy of remark that the poster is well designed as for the layout of the white lettering and the contrasting background .
3) It is also observable that the warning slogan due to its rhyme will stay in the readers' heads for longer.
4)The illustration is really convincing as the author has put his idea across really well - this habit ties you down to cigarettes, takes away your freedom and your life.
II. I will now clarify why I reject the two other pictures.
1) Picture one seems to lack human actors and might make a reader easily lose interest
2) Another argument is that reading electrocardiogram recordings can be too complex to a layman
3) Morover, using a shock factor to deter someone from smoking doesn't seem wise (here implying that one of the smoker's puffs is their last one , then the heartbeat stops.
1) A problem with picture two is essentially that it's unclear and hence ineffective; it's possible, however to infer that the toxicity of tobacco is harmful not only to creatures but also to plants. The burning cigarette part of the plant may possibly suggest the decomposition of the plant's roots.
2) Secondly, the slogan is too forceful as people in general don't enjoy having someone's will imposed on them.
3) Finally, it seems to me that both lungs from poster two should be shown as equally affected by nicotine for it to be more convincing and powerful in getting people woke to what cigarette smoke can do to their lungs ' tissue.

Corrections

MAKING ONE'S CASE (making a case for why my choice is the best)

I. I'll attempt to make a strong case for why I choose picture three over the two other pictures.

1) My starting point is that it best describes what happens to a smoker's body as we can see him or her transforming from a person full of life and energy person into a paper-white, ghost-like being, supposedly through airways problems, lack of vitamins , impaired cardiovascular system, weight loss and insufficient ammount of oxigen supplied to their brain.

The words "being supposedly" look & sound like a phrase, but here they just are next to each other by accident, so I think you want a comma to separate those words.

2) It is worthy of remark that the poster is well designed as forin terms of the layout of the white lettering and the contrasting background .

3) It is also observable that the warning slogan due to its rhyme will stay in the readers' heads for longer due to its rhyme.

4)The illustration is really convincing as the author has put his idea across really well - this habit ties you down to cigarettes, takes away your freedom and your life.

II.

I will now clarify why I reject the two other pictures.

1) Picture one seems to lack human actors and might make a reader easily lose interest

2) Another argument is that reading electrocardiogram recordings can be too complex to a layman

3) Morover, using a shock factor to deter someone from smoking doesn't seem wise (here implying that one of the smoker's puffs is their last one , thenafter which the heartbeat stops).

or "after which point the heartbeat stops" or "at which point the heart beat stops"

1) A problem with picture two is essentially that it's unclear and hence ineffective; it's possible, however to infer that the toxicity of tobacco is harmful not only to creatures but also to plants.

The burning cigarette part of the plant may possibly suggest the decomposition of the plant's roots.

2) Secondly, the slogan is too forceful as people in general don't enjoy having someone's will imposed on them.

3) Finally, it seems to me that both lungs from poster two should be shown as equally affected by nicotine for it to be more convincing and powerful in getting people woke to what cigarette smoke can do to their lungs ' tissue.

I suggest "making people aware of what..."
I say this because the phrase "getting people woke" is quite a modern phrase, and it sounds informal to me; I am not accustomed to seeing it used in written material. But, it may also be that it is used in materials that I do not encounter.

orea5's avatar
orea5

Jan. 23, 2023

0

That's great help. Thank you so much.

MAKING ONE'S CASE (making a case for why my choice is the be


MAKING ONE'S CASE (making a case for why my choice is the best)

I. I'll attempt to make a strong case for why I choose picture three over the two other pictures.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

1) My starting point is that it best describes what happens to a smoker's body as we can see him or her transforming from a full of life and energy person into a paper-white, ghost-like being supposedly through airways problems, lack of vitamins , impaired cardiovascular system, weight loss and insufficient ammount of oxigen supplied to their brain.


1) My starting point is that it best describes what happens to a smoker's body as we can see him or her transforming from a person full of life and energy person into a paper-white, ghost-like being, supposedly through airways problems, lack of vitamins , impaired cardiovascular system, weight loss and insufficient ammount of oxigen supplied to their brain.

The words "being supposedly" look & sound like a phrase, but here they just are next to each other by accident, so I think you want a comma to separate those words.

2) It is worthy of remark that the poster is well designed as for the layout of the white lettering and the contrasting background .


2) It is worthy of remark that the poster is well designed as forin terms of the layout of the white lettering and the contrasting background .

3) It is also observable that the warning slogan due to its rhyme will stay in the readers' heads for longer.


3) It is also observable that the warning slogan due to its rhyme will stay in the readers' heads for longer due to its rhyme.

4)The illustration is really convincing as the author has put his idea across really well - this habit ties you down to cigarettes, takes away your freedom and your life.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

II.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I will now clarify why I reject the two other pictures.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

1) Picture one seems to lack human actors and might make a reader easily lose interest


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

2) Another argument is that reading electrocardiogram recordings can be too complex to a layman


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

3) Morover, using a shock factor to deter someone from smoking doesn't seem wise (here implying that one of the smoker's puffs is their last one , then the heartbeat stops.


3) Morover, using a shock factor to deter someone from smoking doesn't seem wise (here implying that one of the smoker's puffs is their last one , thenafter which the heartbeat stops).

or "after which point the heartbeat stops" or "at which point the heart beat stops"

1) A problem with picture two is essentially that it's unclear and hence ineffective; it's possible, however to infer that the toxicity of tobacco is harmful not only to creatures but also to plants.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The burning cigarette part of the plant may possibly suggest the decomposition of the plant's roots.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

2) Secondly, the slogan is too forceful as people in general don't enjoy having someone's will imposed on them.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

3) Finally, it seems to me that both lungs from poster two should be shown as equally affected by nicotine for it to be more convincing and powerful in getting people woke to what cigarette smoke can do to their lungs ' tissue.


3) Finally, it seems to me that both lungs from poster two should be shown as equally affected by nicotine for it to be more convincing and powerful in getting people woke to what cigarette smoke can do to their lungs ' tissue.

I suggest "making people aware of what..." I say this because the phrase "getting people woke" is quite a modern phrase, and it sounds informal to me; I am not accustomed to seeing it used in written material. But, it may also be that it is used in materials that I do not encounter.

You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.

Go Premium